George Zimmerman Is Randomly Guarding Businesses Now, Oh Good

July 30th, 2014 // 54 Comments
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“George, they infiltrated the police, George. We’re sitting ducks.”
“There’s a gun inside my rectum. You know what to do.”

When we last left George Zimmerman, he was attempting to make money by competing in underground fight clubs to benefit The Trayvon Martin Foundation (You just read all of those words.), so you’ll be happy to know that didn’t work and he’s homeless and broke. Well, broke monetarily, but not in spirit because, you see, there’s been some break-ins in Florida lately, so George has taken it upon himself to see they don’t happen again by acting as a sort of self-appointed night-watch which ended super awesome the last time that happened provided your definition of awesome is using a gun for the exact reason it was purchased: Killing black people over something. Literally anything. Radar reports:

It was discovered Zimmerman was guarding the shop just after midnight early Monday morning when a police officer found the former neighborhood watch crusader inside the store.
Zimmerman reportedly told the officer “he was watching the business due to a recent burglary” for his friend, the store’s owner, Pat Johnson.

Except Pat Johnson is running for mayor and would like it known that not only did he not hire George Zimmerman as a security guard, the dude just started sitting outside in his truck on his own. WESH 2 News reports:

Johnson, who is running for mayor in DeLand, confirmed to WESH 2 News that he befriended Zimmerman last summer but said he did not hire him to do security work.
He said Zimmerman has sat outside of his store several times on his own lately.

As for that befriending business, Gawker reports Pat Johnson gave George Zimmerman a free handgun once he found out it was taking Zimmerman too long to get the PF-9 back he used to kill Trayvon Martin, so that well thought-out decision hasn’t spectacularly back-fired. Shit, he’s practically primed and ready to shoot an honest-to-God Negro right outside Pompano Pat’s! Can you imagine those poll numbers? This is Florida we’re talking about. Fuck mayor, they’ll have to crown him king.

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  1. cc

    Can he get a job guarding Justin Bieber’s neighbor’s house?

  2. TheSuperWhinyBitchial

    Nobody comment, you’re just falling into his trap.

  3. JC

    I’m more troubled by the fact that you can apparently help someone avoid any and all waiting periods by just giving them a free gun.

    • JC

      I once executed a Straw Man for trespassing on my property. I thought he was that Slender Man that all the kids are talking about/killing each other over. Luckily I was acquitted.

  4. dennis

    I’d rather have him watching his buddy’s storefront all night than out there patrolling the streets again.

  5. RexSeven

    I know Trayvon won’t rob that store.

  6. What a loser. Murdering, stupid, loser. That rednecks love simply because he (1) owns a gun, and (2) killed a black person.

    • Mitch

      Yeah, I agree. That Trayvon was such a fine, upstanding citizen. He was active in his communities programs to assist the poor and mentally ill. He volunteered to serve thanksgiving dinner to the homeless and he was totally against drug and alcohol use.

      The world is far worse without him in it, that is for sure.

    • Mitch

      Just wanted to add that blacks are way more into killing people with guns than white people.

      I don’t hear outrage when a black guy kills another black guy the way it is when a hispanic guys kills a black guy or a white guy kills a black guy. All hell breaks loose when that happens.

    • shutupandsing

      The guy is a retard but in no way did he murder anyone. Read the fucking
      facts before you open your ignorant pie hole.

      Internet kids like yourself make yourselves look stupid anytime you
      open your mouths about things you know nothing about.

  7. Constant Gardener

    Not to get all attorney at law on you while you’re at a fun happy boobie site, but, well, I gotta be me. In light of Zimmerman’s spectacularly well-publicized propensity to violence, anyone who hires him to serve as an armed guard is inviting liability. Forget the stand-your-ground statute, look to the dangerous animal statutes.

  8. Blottter

    So this guy Zimmerman just really, really, wants to kill another black person.

  9. I know Zimmerman, despite being an overzealous wanna be cop, was attacked by some innocent child who was facing no physical threat from Zimmerman, and was being pummelled and facing serious injury or death and shot and killed such child to save his own life but because of this he deserves to be financially destroyed and ridiculed whenever possible.

    Maybe hes really an Israeli and not a white hispanic.

  10. TurdBurglar

    Violent, criminal, wanna-be-thug shitheads beware. You might just get what you deserve, again.

  11. Just like OJ, Zimmerman will self destruct one day and end up exactly where he belongs.

  12. So he offs a teen thug that was beating his head in so what—some of you just need to get over it. If you were in the same situation you’d off the little fucker too.

    • The difference being that those who vilify Zimmerman wouldn’t be in the situation of acting like a fucking moron and disregarding the directions from the police dispatcher, getting bested by a an unarmed kid, then having to kill said kid because they were a huge, gun toting pussy who can’t hold their own in a fight that they started.

      • Mitch

        Where did you get the information that Zimmerman started the fight? Are you claiming that Zimmerman threw the first punch? Really amazing since nobody saw who started the fight…or are you just changing the story to fit your own personal narrative? Thought so.

      • TheSuperWhinyBitchial

        Keep up the good work Mitch.

      • Mitch

        Just pointing out the facts, no matter how painful they are to the uber PC crowd.

      • Eric

        Here is the problem I have with the theory that Zimmerman was the aggressor in the fight. Rachel Jeantel testified that Trayvon Martin was close to his father’s house. If so then why did the fight occur 300 feet away?

        The whole thing started in the North part of the subdivision. The house where Trayvon Martin was living was in the South part of the subdivision. Trayvon Martin told Rachel Jeantel that he was “right by his father’s house”. The confrontation and fight with Zimmerman, happened back at the North part of the subdivision. How come? If Zimmerman was following Martin, then Zimmerman would be where Martin was, the South end of the subdivision.

        What explains why Trayvon Martin left the safety of his father’s house and traveled back to the North part of the subdivision?

        The only explanation that makes sense to me, is that Zimmerman broke off the chase, Trayvon Martin doubled back and attacked Zimmerman. That would make Trayvon Martin the ultimate aggressor in the fight, not Zimmerman.

      • truth

        So you’re saying 300 feet is FAR AWAY??!!! Are you a potted plant?

      • Eric

        300 feet = 100 yards

        Give me an explanation for why he wasn’t at his father’s house and why he went back to the North part of the subdivision 100 yards away from his father’s house?

      • Eric, no Trayvon clinger will address the facts of the case. Juror E54 explained that Martin’s re-crossing the neighborhood to confront Zimmerman was the key to the not guilty vote. It destroyed the prosecution’s story of a frightened little boy running for his life from the bogeyman.

        Meanwhile, after shrieking “all we want is a trial,” the Trayvon clingers are left pretending there was never a trial. That’s what happens when they have no facts or evidence to support their stupidity.

      • Eric

        Richard Stillman, I know. I have asked this question numerous times. But I never get an answer. At most I get snarky insults as if that was an intelligent answer.

      • Dekker, this poor unarmed kid attacked him and was beating his head in the pavement. I carry 24/7 and I’d have shot the poor little THUG too. The PC crowd tried to make it a black and white thing—didn’t work because the jury had common sense.

  13. PF9…not TEC-9

    The difference is like saying “toyota corrola” when you really mean “Honda celica”. seriously…it’s that ridiculous.

  14. right here. >

    cant believe zimz doesnt have his own sirius radio show yet.

  15. Motorboat Captain

    TEC-9? Not sure if joke or legitimate case of dipshit leftist pontificating on things far beyond his ken…

  16. donkeylicks

    “Follow my lead. You take the one on the right, I’ve got the left.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Trust me, they’re black.”

  17. Fun Fact

    According to trial testimony, Trayvon thought Zimmerman was a creepy-ass cracka who wanted to do something gay to him. Thus the only reason he went back and confronted GZ, for some good old gay cracka bashing. What a kid. He’ll be truly missed.

    • truth

      Clearly, he deserved to be killed for that. Just like your mom deserved to be raped by that retard for wearing a dress.

      • Fun Fact

        “Clearly, he deserved to be killed for that.”

        I disagree, but doubtless the world is better off without him, and just a little safer, especially for gays.

  18. Darling

    Where do you people come from? If you think Fish is whiny, then LEAVE the site. I have to read you conservative fucktards spewing FOX garbage all over the place. Go somewhere else (yahoo, huffpo, newsmax) because you look stupid trolling a “liberal” website you hate so much. Also, you do know you are helping the site get paid with each click? Or was your head so far up your ass that you missed the logic behind it?

  19. Leila

    Are there really people who are so desperate to absolve Zimmerman of guilt they can’t concede that STALKING a young man at night does not constitute threatening behavior? Are you fucking kidding me? The fact that we know that he was armed and acting against the advice of the police is all we need to confirm that Zimmerman is ten times the kind of asshole it takes to have started this whole tragic ball rolling. The ONLY reason he killed Trayvon is because he was no physical match for him. Because Zimmerman is a grade z pussy. And every single action he has taken before and since he took this teenager’s life has shown this to be true.

    • Carlo

      I love how everyone defending Trayvon refers to him as a “teenager” or a “child”.

      The truth of the matter is he was a drug using burglar thug. That little prick would have beaten and robbed you had you crossed paths with him in a dark alley so just save it, will you.

    • The jurors absolved Zimmerman of guilt. They also heard all the evidence and knew there was no ‘stalking’ of anyone. ROFL! He was not acting against the advice of police. You’re probably confusing the 911 dispatcher with the police and “we don’t need you to do that” with something it’s not.
      Zimmerman shot in self defense while under criminal assault. That was all the evidence anyone including you had to go on. Martin should have stayed at home when he was ‘right by’ it with Zimmerman nowhere in sight. But he had something else on his mind and he got himself killed for it. Hopefully you teach your kids better than the Martin’s failed to teach theirs.

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