DMX Is Fighting George Zimmerman

Because he’s a level-headed man who’s not at all prone to extremes, George Zimmerman was hoping he’d get a chance to celebrity box Kanye West. Instead, he got DMX which is still great news because all that mattered was George had probable cause to stand his ground, so go ahead and check off that box. TMZ reports:

Celebrity boxing promoter Damon Feldman tells us, DMX was selected out of 15,000 applicants … all of whom wanted a piece of Zimmerman in the ring after he issued the open challenge to fight anyone willing to take him.
But no one wanted to beat Zimmerman’s ass more than DMX.
As we first reported, DMX promised to massacre Zimmerman in the ring if he got the chance. To be exact, he said, “I am going to beat the living f**k out him … I am breaking every rule in boxing to make sure I f**k him right up.” He then said he’d literally piss on George’s face.

So in one corner, you’ve got George Zimmerman who’s apparently been training every day since, you know, “that thing,” and is only 30 years old. In the other, you’ve got DMX who’s 43, but has spent the majority of the past decade in jail, so I’m pretty sure he knows how to break his own arm and use the protruding bone as a shiv. Not to mention all that peeing stuff he said which I’m pretty sure will be like watching Baryshnikov dance, that’s how smooth and efficiently DMX works. He’ll probably even pirouette.

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Photo: WENN