George Zimmerman’s Wife Filed For Divorce

September 6th, 2013 // 118 Comments
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Sad news, Freedom Lovers. The George Zimmerman fiasco has finally claimed a casualty: A marriage. A straight marriage. I could barely stir my arugula tea while listening to NPR this morning, it made me so sick. Turns out George’s wife Shellie Zimmerman stood by his side while he was on trial for murdering Trayvon Martin (Fun Fact: He went out on patrol that night after they had an argument that ended in her fleeing to her father’s house, so fortunately that worked out for everyone because, wow, talk about a recipe for disaster, amirite?), yet according to ABC News, he couldn’t be bothered to show up for her hearing after she perjured herself for him because he’s “changed” and thinks he’s “invincible” now. Which I don’t know what her deal is because those are exactly the kind of words you want to hear about a man speeding aimlessly across the country while stockpiling guns. America can finally stop locking its doors at night, but I guess that’s not good enough for Shellie. Fortunately, she’s not going to get her terrorist-loving hands the money we all agreed at Cracker Barrel to send to George so he’s never unarmed and, God willing, shoots another black kid which is why I made you chip in extra, Ted. Ain’t no point if that shit don’t PAY, mothafucka. BOOM.

Except, oh wait, she is. Goddammit. TMZ reports:

According to divorce docs that will soon be filed by Shellie Zimmerman, she claims she’s getting $4,300 a month in living expenses from the Zimmerman Legal Defense Fund. The couple separated August 13th.
According to the solicitation on PayPal … the fund is to be used “for George Zimmerman’s ongoing living expenses, legal costs, and fees for this matter.”
Now it gets a little more complicated. George Zimmerman’s official legal defense website says, “Currently George and Shellie are renting a secure residence at a reasonable rate. Their day-to-day living expenses are relatively modest as they want to preserve as many funds as possible for an aggressive defense.”
But here’s the thing. He won almost 2 months ago, and the site raised more than $300,000. He may still owe money to his lawyers, but the case is over and it’s a little weird the $4,300 a month is going to Shellie individually … not the legal team.

While this looks like a suspiciously shady cash grab, I don’t think anyone regardless of how they felt about the Trayvon verdict disagrees that this guy is more than likely an abusive sonofabitch with definite anger/impulse issues. Not to mention she earned a chunk of moron money for living in constant fear that this might happen:

“Hey, George, I finished cleaning the chimney, but now I have soot all over my fac-”

*BANG*

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Sorry you married a cowardly murderer, I guess. Wonder if that’s covered in a pre-nup.

    • Pre-nup…??? Along the liines of In the event of a divorce, Shellie Zimmerman gets nothing, unless George Zimmerman is found guilty of murdering someone’s child, in which case she gets to keep the trailer and all it contains. In the event the child George Zimmerman has killed is African American, Shellie Zimmerman gets to keep all contents of the trailer during George Zimmerman’s 30 days of incarceration, at which time she will forfeit all firearms and the television set.

  2. Tiggles

    I only like divorce stories about attractive women making themselves single.

  3. The Most Interesting

    Well, without kids, the whole thing gets a lot less complicated.

    Now it’s just a matter of splitting up the chins.

  4. Plurp

    Sorry, superficial, but Zimmerman didn’t murder anybody. He killed a stoned punk who was trying to kill him after that punks fat, illiterate girlfriend told him that Zimmerman was a gay rapist. But thanks for spreading the racist hate. The rev jesse jackson will let you kiss his ass now.

    • I’m actually going to thank you for your comment because the first three scared the hell out of me.

      They were actually smart and humorous. I didn’t know where I was for a minute.

    • JC

      Wait, I didn’t know the girlfriend of the dead kid was fat! Why am I just learning this now? That recasts the whole case!

    • Sir Bond

      An armed Zimmerman followed (without provocation) an innocent black kid, first in his car and then by foot. At the end, the kid was shot dead and Zimmerman was made a redneck hero, and moderately rich, and he is still allowed to buy guns and go around doing his “vigilante” stuff. Got segne Amerika! I guess…

      • You conveniently skipped the part where Trayvon attacked him.

      • I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that Trayvon’s “attack” probably wasn’t unprovoked.

      • Probably not. But you still can’t go into it swinging because some fat fuck is following you around. At best you might get assault charges. At worst you might end up with bullet holes.

        That said, I guarantee I can stack 16 year old boys ten foot high after a weekend of following them around the neighborhood.

      • Monkeytoe

        that is quite a limb since all of the evidence at trial indicated Trayvon’s attack was in fact unprovoked. Unless, like a lot of lefties these days, you are arguing that if someone looks at you wrong you can start slamming his head into the pavement.

      • What evidence, other than Zimmerman’s testimony?

      • NO FUCKING WAY! It is indeed unlawful to slam someone’s head into the ground if they looks at you wrong. However it is apparently perfectly legal to shoot them to death.

      • Hugh Jass

        You conveniently left out the part about Zimmerman accosting Martin. He had not business engaging with Martin. Ironically, if Trayvon shot Zimmerman, instead of just kicking his loser ass, he could have gotten away with it under the asinine stand your ground law

      • I missed the accosting part in the trial, only the following part Perhaps because the witness was killed. I’m not even sure what you mean by accosting, but if it involved physical violence then, yes, TM could have shot GZ according to SYG.

        The whole goddamn thing is a case study in minding your own goddamn business.

      • Monkeytoe

        You people just continue to make up you own facts. Zimmerman never touched Martin and never spoke to martin. And that is not how stand your ground works. You can’t go home and then come back to beat someone up, as Trayvon did. At least learn something about the case before commenting on it.

      • Thank God you were there to witness it all and set us straight.

        Oh no, wait. There were only two witnesses to the events leading up to the shooting. And one of them is dead. And the other one was standing trial for the shooting. Ah, heck, I’m sure his account was 100% unbiased and factual and that he wouldn’t perjure himself. He was under oath, after all. It’s not like he was caught out in a lie about his financial circumstances under that same oath or anything.

      • Griefer

        And what would Trayvon say to clear the air if he survived the shooting? Probably enough to clear himself of assault charges and Zimmerman still walks.

      • Sir Bond

        I believe Zimmerman was attacked because of his habit of creepily following black kids in his car and then engaging them. It was Zimmerman who walked to him, not the other way around. I don’t see how a fat armed vigilante who admits he was following a kid can claim the attack was “unprovoked”. I don’t want to live in a country where self proclaimed vigilantes with guns can follow me around and harass me simply because of my appearance.

      • you should have moved out 200 something years ago then.

      • Sir Bond

        Whatever, Zimmerman is a crazy fuck who got away with murder.

  5. Maybe she dumped him because the fat fuck put on 40 pounds in a year…oh wait, she’s a fat fuck too.

    Hey, btw, whatever happened to the story about the 3 black kids that shot the white college student because they were bored?

    • Anyone remember that story? I mean, it was a whole month ago….

      You know, the one where the teen tweeted “90% of white people are nasty #HATETHEM” right before he shot the kid?

      • It was two black kids and a white kid who were immediately arrested for shooting their victim.

      • Not only were they immediately arrested, but nobody is trying to minimize their crime and suggest the victim somehow had it coming, which already sets it apart from the Trayvon Martin shooting.

      • Monkeytoe

        Where I live about 2 years ago a middle aged black man shot and killed a sixteen year old white boy in the middle of the night b/c he thought the kid was rushing him. the black guy was tried and acquitted on self defense grounds. No outcry, no cries of racism and the black guy had less of a case as the white kid never touched him. I am on the same side in both cases – you?

      • #whitemartyrdom

      • Sir Bond

        Where do you live and please provide references of the case. Anyways, it does not sound like Zimmerman’s; this crazy fuck actually followed around a kid, then pursued him by foot (if we are to trust on the phone calls recordings better than in his testimony) and then shot him dead.

      • YourMom'sGunt

        The man’s name was Roderick Scott. Google should take it from there….Also, once again, you left out an important detail in your retelling of the Zimmerman/Trayvon thing again. Namely, the assault. Can’t imagine why you keep skipping over that inconvenient little fact.

      • Again, we don’t know who assaulted whom. Only two people saw the beginning of the physical altercation, and one of them killed the other one.

    • JC

      Not sure where you’re going with this (Zimmerman saw the future and enacted a pre-emptive strike against all black people?), but from looking at the mugshots, I’d say the one of those three kids is white:

      http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/08/20/20102447-2-teens-charged-with-first-degree-murder-in-ballplayers-killing-in-oklahoma?lite

    • mike

      They were arrested and will soon be in prison. Unlike suburban commando.

      • Mike Walker

        They were arrested because they confessed to murder. Zimmerman did no such thing and made a convincing case to the police who felt there was no crime committed and certainly no chance of a guilty verdict if it went to trial… and we see how that turned out.

    • She is a fat fuck too. That’s why they divorced. Steric hindrance.

      McBeef’s Organic Chemistry of the Lesson of the Day:
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steric_effects#Steric_hindrance

    • Run n Gun

      My point is not about justice/injustice for both cases, it’s the blatant lack of media coverage that followed the college kid getting shot.

      Why were the weeks upon weeks of talk show panels talking about a black on white hate crime? (the third shooter was half white)

      Where were the outraged Australian citizens marching in the streets? Does that fact that his killers were caught change the severity of the crime? The motive behind it?

      Just a couple days ago in Philly, some black pimp and his two black hookers tazed, strangled, and cut up a white guy’s body and threw it down the fucking apartment’s garbage disposal.

      If 3 white people did it to a black person, would it have been a passing headline, gone the next day?

      • Trex

        The reason why the bored black dudes killing the random white guy for kicks isn’t a big deal is because it happens so often that no one, not even the Superficial, is even remotely surprised by it.

        What people are mildly surprised by is that there was a white dude tangentially involved, albeit not actually pulling the trigger. The other difference s that you don’t see every white person immediately defending the tangentially involved white thug simply because he is white.

        If white folks marched in the streets and protested and got on the news every time a black dude killed/raped/assaulted/mugged/stole from a white person, the economy would collapse because all the white folks would be in the streets every day, protesting and bitching and moaning about perceived racial injustice, instead of, well, you know, actually working.

      • You know, there are plenty of websites out there that not only welcome but encourage your brand of racist drivel. You should check them out!

      • Marissa210

        Is it racist if it’s true? Just wondering…

      • Sir Bond

        There is no outrage about the kids killing another kid because at least they were arrested and convicted for their crime. Zimmerman, an armed grown man, shot a kid dead, was not even arrested initially, and was cleared of murder at the end. It’s not so hard to understand the difference.

  6. Goose

    The Zim Zam simply cannot be flim-flammed!
    It can’t be done!

    >MFW

  7. Once the money from the “Legal Fund” runs out, I wonder if the “former Mrs Zimmerman” will be writing a “Tell-All” book. Since George is covered by “Double Jeopardy” it wouldn’t have any effect on his freedom.

  8. Oh goodie. Fish and his goddamned liberal agenda again. Nice work being one of the sheep.

    • Griefer

      You knew Fish couldn’t resist this story. And never believe anything people say about their spouse during divorce proceedings.

    • Kenny McCormick

      What did you expect from fish? The guy’s total life experence came from Pennsylvania Amish Country. When you grow up in that sort of sheltered enviroment and then move to Wilshire Boulevard you’re bound to be some sort of Socialist/Liberal mutant.

  9. JohnnyHildo

    George reacts badly to the news he will NOT get visitation rights with the pizza rolls.

  10. Everyone who bitches about George Zimmerman posts taking the place of titty posts should probably take a closer look at ol’ George up there.

  11. Kodos

    BORING!!!

    Hey, Fish! I hear the Huffington Post needs a new tabloid ‘celebrity’ writer. Betcha it pays better, and I’m sure you’ll get a lot more ideological satisfaction.

    Glad to help!

  12. Cock Dr

    I predict an awful custody fight over the Fry Daddy and the George Foreman grill.

  13. rj

    This is actually a serious suggestion: Why don’t you start a separate blog for your political/social/religious commentary ? That way everyone who comes here for laughs can enjoy themselves.

    • Don’t do it, Fish! Nothing gets me hotter than getting into online political debates while staring at GIFs of Katy Perry’s bouncing breasts.

      • I agree, don’t do it Fish. First off I like the bickering and second I like to bitch about you posting that stuff.

        Seriously though, you start sounding like a jack ass when you jump in the commentary. Leave that to the proles while Photoboy feeds you grapes.

      • Sorry, I like it when Fish chimes in. And frankly, given all the bullshit he has to put up with, especially from the Conservative Cruds that lambaste him, I think he ought to get a medal for not hiring George Zimmerman to shoot every fucking one of them.

    • ChaCha

      Maybe there could just be a separate blog for mundane events in the lives of overweight Flordians whose existence we shouldn’t even be aware of.

    • Here’s an idea, how about you just not read the articles that don’t interest you? I mean, how fucking retarded do you have to be to see an article about George Zimmerman and not realize that the article is going to be about George Zimmerman?

  14. Best thing about being married to a fat broad is, if she leaves you, who cares? She was fat anyway. The Zim Man can not be flim flammed!

  15. George and Shellie are both mature adults, and I”m sure they’ll both adjust to the divorce just fine, but what about the GUNS?!?!? Isn’t it always the guns that end up being hurt in the divorce?

  16. Scott

    Mr. Superficial is still an idiot about this. He didn’t murder anyone. The jury decided that. You don’t need to be a lawyer (although I am) to understand that.

    • That’s funny, when the jury decided O.J. did not murder anyone that’s not what I hard out of most people’s mouths and I bet it did not come out of yours either. People generally seem to be convinced that Casey Anthony is a murderer also, even though as you stated, a jury decided that she was not.

      Hypocrisy, ain’t it grand?

    • Mike Walker

      Fish wrote that he “was on trail [sic] for murdering Trayvon Martin”, not that he murdered him (although he does believe that).

    • Of course you are, Scott.

  17. The best part is that she is getting $4,300 a month from the money that was supposed to be for his legal defense that the dumbfuck rednecks gave them. So Zimmerman has been pulled over twice now for speeding in a month, he is establishing a pattern showing that he does not think the law applies to him.

    • Monkeytoe

      Because everyone obeys speed limits. Just Zimmerman does not.

      • I have not been pulled over in over a decade, the vast majority of people I know have not been either. Hell my brother has never been pulled over in his life. Zimmerman has been pulled over now twice in 2 months. How many people you know get pulled over on a monthly basis? If you think being pulled over monthly for speeding is the norm then you must be a pretty shitty driver.

        His whole life is a pattern off thinking he is the law or above it. Having a judge for a father who probably got him out of all sorts of trouble most likely gave him that feeling of entitlement.

      • I obey speed limits. Most people I know do. Sounds like you’re a scofflaw.

      • My last ticket was in 2000. It’s not hard avoiding the law if you’re not an idiot, or if you’re white. I’m covered both ways.

      • Trex

        Wow! You must know a heck of a lot of folks to make that statement even remotely meaningful in a statistical sense. But you seem to be a person for whom the facts do not frequently get in the way of ideological myopia..

  18. Brian

    20 bucks says this man assaults a girlfriend within the next year, and ends up in prison anyway within the next decade. He’s the OJ Simpson for white people: a violent sociopath who managed to escape justice even though he’s clearly guilty, and for some reason holds the support of way too many members of his race who for some reason feel the need to view him as a misrepresented hero. I think the most obnoxious thing for me is that OJ supporters and Zimmerman supporters probably hate each other, even though they have so much in common.

    • JC

      Luckily, the women who are likely to be into him will already be missing a few teeth, so it won’t be as big of a deal when he punches one of them in the mouth.

    • Monkeytoe

      Yes, because everyone who disagrees with you is racist and a women beater. It must be good to be so full of oneself.

      The most obnoxious thing for me is people like you who don’t understand facts or logic. But believe you are smart.

      • At what point did the words “everyone who disagrees with me is…” leave his mouth?

        They didn’t. You are putting words in his mouth. This is shitty debate technique, which makes you look silly and intellectually dishonest.

    • A misrepresented hero Sanford deserves but not the one it needs right now.

  19. Zimmerman beats all the life terms.

  20. eh

    Can we all start rubbing Zimmerman for good luck? He gets acquitted, starts raking in the money, is a hero to all the hot redneck girls in Florida that get by rubbing a gun, and now his fat wife leaves him so he can submerge himself in celebrity bangers? What next, he’s going to lose 50 pounds by eating donuts?

  21. Now there’s going to one more “BBW” ad on Craigslist that I have to answer.

  22. oh wow another Zimmerman Story

    Good God can’t this fucking blogger stop kicking this racial dirt up. It’s obvious from Fish’s statements he is set in his ways and isn’t going to read anything contray, so why bother! He doesn’t care that Zimmerman is half white. He doesn’t care that Martin attacked him and that it was a clear cut self defense case. Now he’s just doing this shit to incite people. He’s kind of a little race-hustler-in-the-making, if you will. Lord knows he does need to change careers, because his writing is really starting to SUCK ASS!

    • “Waaaah! There’s stuff on a website that I don’t have to read that makes me sad when I read it! I don’t like his writing and yet I’ve obviously read enough to know that he’s brought this issue up before! WAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!111eleven1″

      • Matrim Is Clueless!

        The only thing I would whine about is the lack of reading comprehension of some of the people on this site. Oh, I include you in that group, by the way. I was making a simple observance. Having an honest debate about race relations is pointless on this site because the blogger has his mind made up. In fact, he had it made up even before the trial began. How is that whining? You also have to consider the fact that the writing quality of the current blogger on this site has gone down drastically over the last couple of years. It used to be more like WWTDD and now it’s more like HuffingtonPost. Mind you, I don’t mind Huffpost. In fact, I check it out at least once a day, but not for bikini shots. My point is, basically, that a blogger should probably be forthright with thier agenda. Don’t talk about Katy Perry’s tits then get on a soapbox about race relations. I also don’t think the blogger is being particularly genuine when he makes these Zimmerman remarks. Notice how he hardly ever mentions Trevon, but rather refers to him as “a black kid”? I honestly don’t think he/she/what-ever-the-fuck-it-is even gives a shit about Trevon. He is simply trying to dig shit up to get comments. Ever notice that political comments far outweigh the tits and ass posts? That is pure and simple race hustling. Trying to get more people involved in the arguement, which, in turn, may bring in more advertising dollars. I just don’t think Fish is being entirely genuine, and I felt I needed to make a plea to those that disagree with him to please stop feeding the beast.

      • Thanks, Fish

        Thanks for the thumbs down, Fish. I consider it a badge of honor.

      • “Waaah! Someone is using their website to post stuff that they want to post and not stuff I want them to post! Also I don’t agree with him so he’s obvious being disingenuous! WAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!11one1″

  23. Bryan

    At this point, I really wish people would just stop responding to Fish’s opinions on the Zimmerman stuff. He clearly had his mind made up the day the story broke on DailyKos, and nothing is ever going to change it.

    Please, just let him just have his fun, stroking his chin and scoffing at all us ignorant racist redneck right-wing murder fetishist Dirty Harry wannabes who actually looked at the evidence and paid attention to the facts during the trial. That stuff’s for squares, man.

  24. i wonder if she’s gotten herself a gun yet.
    you know- for protection.

    • eh

      I think in the Zimmerman household if you want a gun you can just reach in the silverware drawer. Or into the crisper in the fridge. Or into any other drawer actually.

  25. Jake

    So we all know, whether you want to admit it or not, that Martin wanted to beat the “creepy ass cracker’s” ass and he was shot during the process. Zimmerman, however, is not a cracker. He is definitely hispanic. Lefties don’t want to offend their latino base, so they attack Zimmerman as white. Of course, haven’t talked to a progressive yet who cares about the truth.

    • Yes, we all know that the kid being stalked by the gun-toting meat-head on a power trip was just looking for someone’s ass to beat. It’s not like that of the only two people that saw the start of the physical altercation one has a vested interest in making the other look like he started it. And even though he killed the only other person that can contradict his testimony, it’s not like he would make shit up to look more righteous or anything…

    • Hispanic: ethnicity, not race. This is why there are “White, Hispanic” and “White, Not Hispanic” categories on social demographic studies.

  26. Now he is free to date casey anthony.

  27. EnglishTeacherAnni

    If she says she perjured herself defending Zimmerman, will charges be brought against her for that? Seems like they should be……..why in the hell would you admit that? Seems not very bright……

  28. Aaand I’m done with this site

  29. Frizzlefry

    Damn, are there any non flaming liberals that post here?

  30. Mr. Ed

    While you all continue to bicker ad nauseam about Zimmerman, has nobody noticed his wife looks like Amanda Bynes after an all night Denny’s bender???? Let’s talk about that.

  31. Dr.J

    The world’s an imperfect place. And we’re all gonna die.
    Just repeat that to yourself when you’re listening to the mom from the Westboro Baptist Church, say, OR reading the buncha bullshit that right-wing weirdos posted all up there.
    Doesn’t that make you feel better? Christ, I feel better all ready.

  32. juanhunglow

    she is a pig George. you can and will do better, you are a fucking American hero.

  33. George is being rewarded for eliminating a thug punk from this world by getting out of two life sentences.

  34. John Kelsch

    It took her long enough to come to her senses, the guy is obviously psychotic.

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