George Zimmerman Is Doing Celebrity Boxing Now

When we last left George Zimmerman, he was cornering the market on gun nuts with $100,000 to blow on murderous shitbag art which somehow no one’s figured out is money laundering yet. Then again, Florida. Except now he’s turned his attention to celebrity boxing, the sport of kings and vagina kickers alike, and more importantly, one of the few remaining venues in Obama’s America where you’re allowed to assault black people who, God willing, will end up being Mike Tyson. Radar Online reports:

“Prior to the incident [Ed. Note: “You know, that thing where I shot a kid. NBD.”] I was actually going to the gym for weight loss and doing boxing-type training for weight loss and a mutual friend put me in contact with Damon and provided me with an opportunity and motivation to get back in shape and continue with my weight loss goals and also be able to help a charity out.”
While Zimmerman didn’t confirm or deny if he was getting paid to put on the boxing gloves, he did tell Radar that some of the proceeds will go to a charity.
“I’d love to tell you [the charity] but unfortunately there’s so much animosity still from people out there, that if I name the charity now they would get bombarded with negativity, so I’d rather not,” he said.
“I’ll leave it up to them to say if they want it to be publicized or not. But I will tell you that it’s an animal rescue.”

“Alright, George, now to sell this thing we gotta make it look like it’s about charity, so what’ll it be: under-privileged kids, after-school programs, a local food bank?”
“Don’t you want to do something that helps people?”
*drops Derringer into boxing glove* “Nope.”

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