George Lucas is Straight Gangster

May 10th, 2012 // 51 Comments
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“Zup?”

Over the past decade, George Lucas has been trying to build a 263,701 square-foot “movie-making complex” complete with daycare and over $300 million in jobs to Marin County except his rich neighbors formed their own rebel alliance – *adjusts bow tie* – because, wait for it, it would bring too much “foot traffic” and be generally “déclassé.” So not only has George Lucas bullseyed the project with his T-16, he’s now firing a Death Star laser right at his enemies’ stuffy dicks. Via Gawker:

As a Lucasfilm spokesperson put it to The Huffington Post:
“The level of bitterness and anger expressed by the homeowners in Lucas Valley has convinced us that, even if we were to spend more time and acquire the necessary approvals, we would not be able to maintain a constructive relationship with our neighbors.”
Instead, Lucas has proposed a new project: Projects.
In a letter formally withdrawing his mega-studio plans, the filmmaker expressed his intention to sell the land to “a developer who will be interested in low-income housing since it is scarce in Marin.”

For those of you scratching your head because this post isn’t about giant breasts (Sorry ’bout that.), George Lucas literally just went, “Foil my plans, will you?” and started chucking poor people like goddamn rocks. Somewhere Gwyneth Paltrow just read this and immediately regretted not wearing a stronger brand of handwoven albino spider-silk vulva pashmina. I could legally zone her pelvis as a water park right now.

Photo: Getty

superficial

  1. chuck

    FACE!

  2. If this shot was taken before Episode One, we might be witnessing the birth of a very, very bad idea.

  3. dooood

    i hate it when my shwartz gets tangled!

  4. Yuuuuup

    That’s what people always do when neighbors complain about what somebody’s trying to build – a developer wanted to build condos downtown in NYC where I live and the neighborhood morons said no, so the developer put up a homeless shelter. Boom.

  5. JC

    He should take it a step further, for even more hilariousness: Subdivide it and sell one part to the developer who wants to build low-income housing, sell another parcel to someone who wants to build a garbage processing center, and sell yet another part to someone who wants to build a nuclear power plant.

  6. mrsmass

    man, what a dick. love it.

  7. cc

    Was one of the Duck Dynasty guys there too? What an eclectic group.

  8. jlucas

    excellent.

  9. Johnny P!

    Whether he sells the land to a developer who wants to build low income housing, or one that wants to build high-income housing (pre-fab mini-mansions that’ll be abandoned to foreclosures in a few years, or perhaps ugly identical glass condos)… or maybe even parcel the land and sell some to Wal-Mart, Applebees, a couple of gas stations, etc. It doesn’t matter. Whatever development(s) go in there, they will ‘significantly increase foot traffic’.
    Man, the people of Marin County are gonna be kicking their own asses in a few years over this one.
    Well played, Mr. Lucas.

  10. it had to be said

    Ha ha ha ha ha.

  11. So that’s how millionaires tell their douchenozzle neighbors to “Eat a dick!”

  12. Rico Jones

    This is great. I never really thought anything of George Lucas. But now I like him.

  13. Cock Dr

    Low income housing for the CA poor cozied right next to the rich folk of Marin County is an awesome payback to his obstructors, but it doesn’t make up for Jar Jar Binks.
    Nothing will.

    • Yuuuuup

      Good point. Can’t decide who I want to lose more – the man that destroyed one of the greatest trilogies ever produced and mind-raped two generations of movie fans or his fuckstick neighbors.

      Maybe the Big One will finally hit out there and they’ll all lose.

    • El Jefe

      Word Doc, word.

  14. dooood

    in every picture there’s a fat homeless guy probably with vomit in his beard that is saying it all with his eyes that he can’t keep open

  15. Joaquin ingles

    How long do you think he can wear the tux before the pressure to his neck blubber makes him pass out?

  16. Jacob

    I hope the developers build a low income housing complex in the shape of a deathstar

  17. “Somewhere Gwyneth Paltrow just read this and immediately regretted not wearing a stronger brand of handwoven albino spider-silk vulva pashmina.”

  18. Hate Lucas but that is masterfully played… Fuck Marin County. What morons.

  19. Dick Hell

    Help! He’s caught in The Chin’s tractor-beam!

  20. Rapsutin's Evil Twin

    Brother Grigori and I couldn’t have done better. Well played, indeed.

  21. Mystic Bastard

    You gotta give it to the man. He knows how to fuck with people. Righteous payback against his neighbors. Score. But what did the world do to deserve Jar Jar?!

  22. Keyboard Bandit

    Ha-Ha! Low income in Marin county still means upper middle class everywhere else.

  23. El Jefe

    Part of me understands where his neighbors are coming from, the other part thinks it is hilarious what he did.

  24. Joe M

    Am I the only one who noticed Rick Rubin in the back? I must be that much of a music nerd. Lol.

  25. Tom

    I think it’s awesome and I hope the project goes through. Maybe they will finally condemn the old projects in Marin City and move all of those gangbanging thugs up the road and away from Sausalito. You can’t even go near that place after 4 in the afternoon when everyone is finally awake and out mugging white people to buy crack.

  26. Steelerchick

    Chris Rock:” George Lucas is O Tay !!!”

  27. skunk

    fuck i would be pissed too. i’d beat his ass

  28. Alex

    George Lucas is nothing more than the world’s richest Xerox machine. There was a 1965 novel called Dune. Read it and you’ll understand.

    • dooood

      dune has so nothing to do with star wars. the real story i think you’re trying to elude to albeit unwittingly, is that it is rumored that he purchased the story of star wars from another writer and part of the transaction included that said writer would never speak of it ever again.

      • Burt

        The story about him working on Star Wars when he was in high school is no BS. I was talking about this with one of my friends and he happens to know someone who was in high school with George Lucas. He really was working on the Star Wars back then.

  29. maddmatt

    I’m with the neighbors on this one, anything that makes it harder for Lucas to make movies is okay in my book.

  30. Judas

    George Lucas casts the newest member of the Star Wars universe…Buckwheat Calrissian.

  31. What an odd placement of buckwheat.

  32. Archie Leach

    I don’t give a fuck. George Lucas is dead to me.

    Jar Jar Binks? Fuck you Lucas!

  33. Cannon

    Wah-wah George Lucas this, wah-wah George Lucas that! Boo-hoo! I ‘m a big fucking baby of spoiled pop-culture! I don’t like Jar Jar! I don’t like Prequels! I don’t like Greedo shooting first! Wah-wah, George Lucas raped my childhood! Oh, he’s so evil! Wah-wah-wah, even when an article is posted about him that has nothing to do with his movies, I still have to bitch that I don’t like him because of his movies …wah-wah-wah! I hate George Lucas!

    Look at me! I’m part of the rhetoric machine! I say negative shit about George Lucas on autopilot, at the drop of hat! He deserves it! Ya know, because he clubbed those baby seals, er, I mean, because he bombed that small third world co–oh, wait, because he started Global Warm–uh, I mean …because he made movies that I didn’t like. Yeah, that’s it.

    He’s practically Hitler.

  34. Pwned!
    Eat it, Marin.

  35. kingofbeer

    hater gonna hate

  36. Alitax

    Goddamn foot traffic is almost as bad as that other kind…what’s it called? Ah yes: BICYCLES. Trying to take the ROAD away from the CARS!

    etc etc etc. Tards.

  37. Nobody

    This photo earned Lucas an astounding 300 million! If you’re a Lucas fan, stay tuned – soon a remastered copy of this picture will be released, earning Lucas a further 200 million. It won’t stop there though, 5 months from now, there will be a 3D copy which will earn Lucas an estimated 700 million!

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