“So then I take the money, put it in argyle socks and hide them all over the house. Now, here’s the fun part: If you fuck me, I give you a map.”
“Ohmygod, I would love that.”
Apparently there’s more to George Clooney and Stacy Keibler breaking up than her just wanting marriage. Don’t get me wrong, it was still that and why he had to press the ejector button on his house, but he was also trying to bang Eva Longoria while still keeping Stacy around in case Eva had to work, leave town or take a phone call for a couple of minutes. You never know with women, amirite? Us Weekly reports:
A source close to the Oscar-winning actor, 52, tells Us Weekly exclusively that he unsuccessfully tried to woo the Desperate Housewives star, 38, while he was still dating Stacy Keibler. Friendly for years, Clooney and Longoria hung out at Soho House in Berlin — both were in Germany for work — this past March, “but did not hook up,” according to the insider.
After that, “George began pursuing Eva,” the source continues. “He told her that he was still with Stacy, but had plans to break up with her and was interested in being with Eva.”
While once-divorced Longoria resisted, the Descendants star “continued to pursue her with texts and calls. Eva make it clear to him that she would not date or be with him until he was completely single.”
Of course, it’s important to note that Eva Longoria has a new boyfriend who’s apparently started saying things like, “I could never marry a woman who had sex with George Clooney,” because the source went on to conveniently point this out:
As Clooney and Keibler’s romantic status appeared unchanged, Longoria found love with someone else: Ernesto Arguello, who starred in NBC’s cancelled dating reality show Ready for Love, which Longoria produced. “She is now very happy with him,” the source adds. “George and Eva never hooked up.”
When asked if this was true, George Clooney responded, “Pussy… pussy, fuck, home… pussy, fuck, home!” He’d later be found in the woods, pale and lifeless next to a stream. Only Elliot’s mom can save him now.