“Why did I make-a his orange juice wrong? Stupido, stupido!”
Less than two weeks ago, Elisabetta Canalis was quoted in an Italian magazine that she’s going to marry George Clooney which was more than he needed to bring this story to its inevitable ending. (He would’ve also accepted: It’s Wednesday, and he’s George Clooney.) People reports:
“We are not together anymore. It’s very difficult and very personal, and we hope everyone can respect our privacy,” Clooney and Canalis said in a joint statement Wednesday.
Correction: It’s very difficult for anyone not named George Clooney. For him, it’s whatever word best describes banging a revolving door of cocktail waitresses without an obligation to listen to their opinionated Italian rants. “Awesobangolonious,” is what I’m going with.
Photos: Splash News
Show us the next one. George has an eye for female hotness.
this one looked kinda trashy. espec considering his budget
Gotta respect how he handles these things.
If the woman indicates any interest or expectation of marriage – IT’S OVER.
yeah he’s pretty pimp for a gay dude :)
George Clooney has this bang a hot younger twenty something and get away down to a science. When he is about 80 he should write a book about it.
The thing is I bet he doesn’t really know what he does – I bet it is a hard thing to teach.
Good on you George. Watching you bang and drop these girls is like watching a football player dodge tackle after tackle. I can’t wait to see the next one you have lined up.
Thanks for the book idea. I won’t have to wait.
Dude, Rednecks wouldn’t know class if it jumped up and bit you in the ass…
And you must learn how to read! She said she was going get married, but not to Clooney who treats all women like tramps. All he is, is a male whore, just ask Mark Wahlberg, who wants nothing more to do with him!
Pathetic!!!
FINALLY THE GOLD DIGGING ITALIAN EUROTRASH HOE AND THE CRADDLE ROBBING SENIOR CITIZEN D-BAG WITH A PERMANENT MIDLIFE CRISES HAVE CALLED IT QUITS!! *Gasp* SHOCKING!
Elisabetta needs to find another rich old dick and Clooney needs to find another pathetic goldigger. Preferably one in her 20s this time b/c chicks in their 20s tend to avoid pregnancy and marriage like the plague.Elisabetta is already in her 30s and therefore looking for something more serious.
Sorry lady, nobody’s respecting your privacy. You’re famous. Get used to it.
Bullshit. I bet she just saw Batman and Robin for the first time.
that crap on her arms just screams sophisticated
An artistically done full sleeve would look much better than these random scribbles & doodles.
my biker friends are covered head to toe in tats and it looks good on them. but that’s cos they’re bikers. good make-up, form fitting clothes.. look good on ‘hot’ chicks–but not on bikers.. knowhereimgoinwitdat..?
Why buy the orange when you can get the juice for free?
Who would marry her with those nasty trashy tattoos.
She looks like she came out of the trailer park on My Name is Earl and works in some low budget strip club.
Her dumbass brought up marriage which is of course the deal killer with George.
She looks trashy enough for some NBA player though so that is where she should head next.
Agreed. Extremely good looking until you get to the billboard that is her body. I personally want to see nice smooth skin without graffiti.
Agreed , God’s canvas is much more beautiful than some illiterate cartoon – drawing chimpanzee in a drug – induced stupor can pound out in a 30 – 45 min
Also agreed. However, seeing her on all fours (see Cannes pics) in a little black bikini distracted me from the tats.
Tattoos don’t make a difference. She’s a dog. With or without them she would still be unattractive. Can’t really blame the tats!
Holy shit, check out her arm. Blegggch.
He dumped her because her biceps were bigger than his.
Like all italian women, elisabetta’s mustache is just right below the surface. Good call and bouncing before it sprouts, Clooney. Good call.
AAA always recommends you carry a spare breast implant in your bicep.
what did she turn 40?
“Stupido, stupido!” This should apply to all women. If your a guy and have the sexual attraction of a George Clonney , young Jack Nicholson, young Mickey Rourke and understand how to use that mojo, why settle for one pussy when you can have as many as you want? Please don’t quote Prad Pitt as evidence as fore-mentioned dude is under a love spell 24/7 cast by a voodoo witch called ” Angelina Jolie.”
not all guys want multiple women, my wife and I have been together for a longgggg time, i dont care about other women, my wife is always there for me, shes hot and had my kids, plus im not into stds, most women these days are skanky, have no idea what the word modest is and have stds…i would rather stick with woman, than have a bunch, more headaches anyways.
Kudos damon
Hey Fish…
Brooke Mueller Spotted Wandering Streets Clutching Wad of Cash, Report Says
That’s so last week
She’s hot, and you’re all gay.
Guess she just found out that The Secret might not be true science after all……..
SHe’s hot, but when you can go to Brazil, Italy, etc and have women throw themselves at you like school girls, why not?
I’m surprized more celebs don’t do it.
Well – let’s see. Hefner and Sheen are beautiful examples of that thinking. And, of course, some people in this world are actually afraid of STD’s, aren’t they? We’ll be surprised if you don’t contract one…
Ahhh, so the reason for marriage/settling down is STD prevention, I get it.
And who, exactly, is “we”?
I thought the reason was so I wouldn’t have to clean up after myself anymore. Guess that’s why I’m not married.
Georgio, I have my eyes covered. What is my surprise? Georgio?
He just found out from Pablo that she’s a bag whore.
Marriage word is Kryptonite to Clooney . Stupido ! stupido !
You should have said you were going to invite in another sultry female for some hot threesome action
Haha George Clooney is boss.
I love the joint statement. Cracks me up. So orchestrated. How much many do you think George pays his women in order to get them to not talk to tabloids or sign any books deals, because none of them ever do. Smacks of an iron clad Non-Disclosure Agreement, which means he pays them off really well. I am guessing this whore got $2M.
As to George, on to the next young, slutty pin cushion. Dude really has the life.
Probably approaching a significant bonus date on her beard contract, and being an astute businessman, GC decided to save the cash and opt out.
Winning!
George, its time to realize your an old man who can still score tons of pussy. But when does it get old George? How many pussies are enough? Before you adore just the one pussy?
George Clooney is ugly to me, sorry i dont find him attractive, his money sure, but him no, hes old and grey and saggy, and not every person cares to have a lundry list of bed partners…i guess people dont care about getting STDs anymore…oh right condoms protect against everything,hahaha…you do know you can get herpes and genital warts even when wearing a condom right???
You would know right, that’s how you contracted both :)
Goddamn, male Hollywood superstars have the best fucking life imaginable.
Go Galt, it wouldn’t take much for you to sell your soul, in fact it all already sounds like you have, you poor soulless being…..
I’m Italian. This chick is just ANOTHER stupid, nice-looking girl, and if you want to take her as an example for Italian people, then I’ll take Heidi Montag as an American’s. You’re ok with that?
Was it because she stuffed one of the oranges in her arm?
…sorry, but, i believe the correct title for this item is; “george clooney shaves beard.”
*this title can be applied to all future incidents, and retroactively to all past ones, so, it more than pays for itself.
Like George Clooney would marry a woman with those tattoos. Ha.
oh well.
onto the next beard.
georgey……….. it’s time to come out now.
She said the magic word and his dick shriveled up and a trap door in the floor opened and that was the end of that.
when a woman comes too close it frightens him so he will be single again………..
Tattooing random sayings all over yourself….just a guess that the crazy was starting to sneak out.
What is going on with that odd right bicep of hers ?
I hate to pile on (actually, I love it), so o.k. I like all of George’s previous chix a lot better than this one because she was so smug whenever she spoke to the press. I knew that “marriage” remark was the beginning of the countdown. So, I’m really cracking up that she got her walking papers. I don’t know why everyone is hating on George. He’s up-front with these girls from the get-go. Not every guy gives you a “buyer beware” notice. Gentlemen, take a lesson from George. Let us know when you’re out to score and nothing more.
When are people going to realise it’s against God’s will that G. Clooney shouldn’t stay permanently single so that he’s free to bang half the women in the western hemisphere?
Maybe it would have lasted longer if she had a cock…
Of course I may sound prejudiced but for me, the silicone, the tats and the fact that she is in a constant clubbing mode even reaching thirties – screams WHORE to me.
That being said, I am 100% sure that she was the one who dumped him. He is old and ugly. Fucking him must be gross. Ew I cannot even imagine it.
There are a lot of rational and material things why he can be attractive to her, but nothing can stand in the nature’s way.
i’m italian and he’s notoriously into Brazilians…dudes, that is…
Good now I got a chance to whore myself out with George. Just one night….. I am getting old so his grey hair only makes me want him more….. Take me NOW George. use me Im yours
He’ll either get caught and have a crew of kids to annoy him like Warren Beatty or die grumpy and lonely like Rock Hudson.
holla @ damon, you would not believe the skanky stories i heard in college.