George Clooney Dumped Elisabetta

June 22nd, 2011 // 68 Comments

“Why did I make-a his orange juice wrong? Stupido, stupido!”

Less than two weeks ago, Elisabetta Canalis was quoted in an Italian magazine that she’s going to marry George Clooney which was more than he needed to bring this story to its inevitable ending. (He would’ve also accepted: It’s Wednesday, and he’s George Clooney.) People reports:

“We are not together anymore. It’s very difficult and very personal, and we hope everyone can respect our privacy,” Clooney and Canalis said in a joint statement Wednesday.

Correction: It’s very difficult for anyone not named George Clooney. For him, it’s whatever word best describes banging a revolving door of cocktail waitresses without an obligation to listen to their opinionated Italian rants. “Awesobangolonious,” is what I’m going with.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Cock Dr

    Show us the next one. George has an eye for female hotness.

    • this one looked kinda trashy. espec considering his budget

    • Dan

      George Clooney has this bang a hot younger twenty something and get away down to a science. When he is about 80 he should write a book about it.

      The thing is I bet he doesn’t really know what he does – I bet it is a hard thing to teach.

      Good on you George. Watching you bang and drop these girls is like watching a football player dodge tackle after tackle. I can’t wait to see the next one you have lined up.

    • Lilbeth

      Dude, Rednecks wouldn’t know class if it jumped up and bit you in the ass…
      And you must learn how to read! She said she was going get married, but not to Clooney who treats all women like tramps. All he is, is a male whore, just ask Mark Wahlberg, who wants nothing more to do with him!

      • MIKE

        Elisabetta needs to find another rich old dick and Clooney needs to find another pathetic goldigger. Preferably one in her 20s this time b/c chicks in their 20s tend to avoid pregnancy and marriage like the plague.Elisabetta is already in her 30s and therefore looking for something more serious.

  2. The GW's friend

    Sorry lady, nobody’s respecting your privacy. You’re famous. Get used to it.

  3. The Best Policy

    Bullshit. I bet she just saw Batman and Robin for the first time.

  4. Elisabetta Canalis George Clooney Break Up
    Commented on this photo:

    that crap on her arms just screams sophisticated

    • Cock Dr

      An artistically done full sleeve would look much better than these random scribbles & doodles.

      • my biker friends are covered head to toe in tats and it looks good on them. but that’s cos they’re bikers. good make-up, form fitting clothes.. look good on ‘hot’ chicks–but not on bikers.. knowhereimgoinwitdat..?

  5. Dirk Digler

    Why buy the orange when you can get the juice for free?

  6. Venom

    Who would marry her with those nasty trashy tattoos.
    She looks like she came out of the trailer park on My Name is Earl and works in some low budget strip club.

    Her dumbass brought up marriage which is of course the deal killer with George.
    She looks trashy enough for some NBA player though so that is where she should head next.

    • Fletch

      Agreed. Extremely good looking until you get to the billboard that is her body. I personally want to see nice smooth skin without graffiti.

      • Garth Spaulding

        Agreed , God’s canvas is much more beautiful than some illiterate cartoon – drawing chimpanzee in a drug – induced stupor can pound out in a 30 – 45 min

      • Bastian

        ironic might not be just the right word .hmmm .. htoicrpye.The PETA folks ranting to save the african-gay-baby-whales are the same that advocate madly for late term abortions, euthanasia, and death to humankind in general.

    • cc

      Also agreed. However, seeing her on all fours (see Cannes pics) in a little black bikini distracted me from the tats.

      • Tae

        Tattoos don’t make a difference. She’s a dog. With or without them she would still be unattractive. Can’t really blame the tats!

  7. Marley

    Holy shit, check out her arm. Blegggch.

  8. rican

    He dumped her because her biceps were bigger than his.

  9. Richard McBeef

    Like all italian women, elisabetta’s mustache is just right below the surface. Good call and bouncing before it sprouts, Clooney. Good call.

  10. AAA always recommends you carry a spare breast implant in your bicep.

  11. damon

    what did she turn 40?

  12. God is Black

    “Stupido, stupido!” This should apply to all women. If your a guy and have the sexual attraction of a George Clonney , young Jack Nicholson, young Mickey Rourke and understand how to use that mojo, why settle for one pussy when you can have as many as you want? Please don’t quote Prad Pitt as evidence as fore-mentioned dude is under a love spell 24/7 cast by a voodoo witch called ” Angelina Jolie.”

    • damon

      not all guys want multiple women, my wife and I have been together for a longgggg time, i dont care about other women, my wife is always there for me, shes hot and had my kids, plus im not into stds, most women these days are skanky, have no idea what the word modest is and have stds…i would rather stick with woman, than have a bunch, more headaches anyways.

  13. Hey Fish…

    Brooke Mueller Spotted Wandering Streets Clutching Wad of Cash, Report Says

  14. baron of all media

    She’s hot, and you’re all gay.

  15. Marceelf

    Guess she just found out that The Secret might not be true science after all……..

  16. Deacon Jones

    SHe’s hot, but when you can go to Brazil, Italy, etc and have women throw themselves at you like school girls, why not?

    I’m surprized more celebs don’t do it.

    • BE

      Well – let’s see. Hefner and Sheen are beautiful examples of that thinking. And, of course, some people in this world are actually afraid of STD’s, aren’t they? We’ll be surprised if you don’t contract one…

      • Deacon Jones

        Ahhh, so the reason for marriage/settling down is STD prevention, I get it.

        And who, exactly, is “we”?

      • Fletch

        I thought the reason was so I wouldn’t have to clean up after myself anymore. Guess that’s why I’m not married.

  17. It had to be said

    Georgio, I have my eyes covered. What is my surprise? Georgio?

  18. J.R.

    He just found out from Pablo that she’s a bag whore.

  19. Sidney Levine

    Marriage word is Kryptonite to Clooney . Stupido ! stupido !
    You should have said you were going to invite in another sultry female for some hot threesome action

  20. Morgan

    Haha George Clooney is boss.

  21. PunkA

    I love the joint statement. Cracks me up. So orchestrated. How much many do you think George pays his women in order to get them to not talk to tabloids or sign any books deals, because none of them ever do. Smacks of an iron clad Non-Disclosure Agreement, which means he pays them off really well. I am guessing this whore got $2M.

    As to George, on to the next young, slutty pin cushion. Dude really has the life.

  22. Frank Burns

    Probably approaching a significant bonus date on her beard contract, and being an astute businessman, GC decided to save the cash and opt out.

  23. Billy Barty , Jr



    George, its time to realize your an old man who can still score tons of pussy. But when does it get old George? How many pussies are enough? Before you adore just the one pussy?

  25. Mia

    George Clooney is ugly to me, sorry i dont find him attractive, his money sure, but him no, hes old and grey and saggy, and not every person cares to have a lundry list of bed partners…i guess people dont care about getting STDs anymore…oh right condoms protect against everything,hahaha…you do know you can get herpes and genital warts even when wearing a condom right???

  26. Go Galt

    Goddamn, male Hollywood superstars have the best fucking life imaginable.

    • Lilibeth

      Go Galt, it wouldn’t take much for you to sell your soul, in fact it all already sounds like you have, you poor soulless being…..

  27. Elisabetta Canalis George Clooney Break Up
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m Italian. This chick is just ANOTHER stupid, nice-looking girl, and if you want to take her as an example for Italian people, then I’ll take Heidi Montag as an American’s. You’re ok with that?

  28. coherent

    Was it because she stuffed one of the oranges in her arm?

  29. SMB

    …sorry, but, i believe the correct title for this item is; “george clooney shaves beard.”

    • SMB

      *this title can be applied to all future incidents, and retroactively to all past ones, so, it more than pays for itself.

  30. Clem

    Like George Clooney would marry a woman with those tattoos. Ha.

  31. anonym

    oh well.

    onto the next beard.

    georgey……….. it’s time to come out now.

  32. AleisterCrowley

    She said the magic word and his dick shriveled up and a trap door in the floor opened and that was the end of that.

    • Lutfi

      I had no hair—and that was the one part of my body I truly loved.a0 Instead of my wavy waist-length hair, I was bald; I looked like a croaentnction camp inmate. And I don’t say that lightly. That’s what I saw

  33. the captain

    when a woman comes too close it frightens him so he will be single again………..

  34. Elisabetta Canalis George Clooney Break Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Tattooing random sayings all over yourself….just a guess that the crazy was starting to sneak out.

  35. Always say cunt

    What is going on with that odd right bicep of hers ?

  36. blasted1

    I hate to pile on (actually, I love it), so o.k. I like all of George’s previous chix a lot better than this one because she was so smug whenever she spoke to the press. I knew that “marriage” remark was the beginning of the countdown. So, I’m really cracking up that she got her walking papers. I don’t know why everyone is hating on George. He’s up-front with these girls from the get-go. Not every guy gives you a “buyer beware” notice. Gentlemen, take a lesson from George. Let us know when you’re out to score and nothing more.

  37. Elf

    When are people going to realise it’s against God’s will that G. Clooney shouldn’t stay permanently single so that he’s free to bang half the women in the western hemisphere?

  38. RichPort

    Maybe it would have lasted longer if she had a cock…

  39. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Of course I may sound prejudiced but for me, the silicone, the tats and the fact that she is in a constant clubbing mode even reaching thirties – screams WHORE to me.
    That being said, I am 100% sure that she was the one who dumped him. He is old and ugly. Fucking him must be gross. Ew I cannot even imagine it.
    There are a lot of rational and material things why he can be attractive to her, but nothing can stand in the nature’s way.

  40. Elisabetta Canalis George Clooney Break Up
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m italian and he’s notoriously into Brazilians…dudes, that is…

  41. Marissa

    Good now I got a chance to whore myself out with George. Just one night….. I am getting old so his grey hair only makes me want him more….. Take me NOW George. use me Im yours

  42. dee cee

    He’ll either get caught and have a crew of kids to annoy him like Warren Beatty or die grumpy and lonely like Rock Hudson.

  43. bbbb

    holla @ damon, you would not believe the skanky stories i heard in college.

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