George Bush & Michelle Obama Are Best Friends; What Is Happening?

“Oh, Barack, can we keep him?”
“Honey, he’s just going to choke on pretzels and puke all over the carpet.”
“Heh heh, it’s true.”

Earlier this week, I read an article in The New Yorker about how the Oscars flub is further proof that our reality is a computer simulation whose handlers are either asleep at the wheel or working out some bugs. Which is the only explanation I can come up with for watching George W. Bush – goddamn George W. Bush – transform into a lovable scamp who tells Trump to go fuck himself and kicks it with Michelle Obama all the time. They’re like two peas in a pod! PEOPLE reports:

“She kind of likes my sense of humor. Anybody who likes my sense of humor, I immediately like,” says Bush, in an interview to launch his first art book and new exhibit, Portraits of Courage: A Commander in Chief’s Tribute to America’s Warriors, a collection of his paintings of post-9/11 war veterans.

“I can’t remember where else I’ve sat next to her, but I probably have a few wise cracks and she seemed to like it okay,” says Bush. “I needle her a little bit and around her, I’m fairly lighthearted. [The Obamas] are around serious people all the time and we just took to each other.”
Asked about that sweet moment at the Smithsonian, he says: “When I saw her, it was a genuine expression of affection.”

“I’ll never forget when I started dancing at that funeral – heh heh – and she turned to me and went, ‘If there weren’t cameras here, I’d whoop you until the white meat shows.’ I mean, that is funny. I like that. She actually did break my hand, too. Gosh, we have so much fun. Laura, we should have them over. — Laura? *waves hand in front of her still face* Took her pills again. Anyway, I just love Michelle.”

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Photo: Getty