Gemma Atkinson is very buoyant

October 22nd, 2007 // 111 Comments
gemma_atkinson_calendar_00.jpg

Scope out English model/actress Gemma Atkinson in her crazy hot 2008 calendar. I don’t really have any idea who she is, but Gemma has dreams of being an R&B/soul singer and will soon be moving stateside to Nashville. Also, just thought I’d mention she’s recently single. News of the World reports:

Our Gem’s now single after splitting with Man United star Ronaldo in July.
A close pal revealed: “Gemma’s started dating again and is loving it. She’s met up with a number of guys so far and had a great time.”

Note to Self: Move to Nashville. Seek out Gemma Atkinson. (If you’re unable to spot her, go home and cry in the bathtub while questioning your sexuality.) Introduce yourself as a record producer. (A cowboy hat will add authenticity to this claim and make you look like Chuck Norris. Pure win/win situation.) Gain Gemma’s confidence. (Buy her a coffee maker. Or an oven mitt. Whatever the chicks are into these days.) Touch boobies. (If unsuccessful, I hear suicide is fun too.) End note.


  1. FIRST you self-fisting smegma holes!

  2. G Man

    Next stop PLAYBOY PLEASE or PORN

  3. costamar

    She’s right now my favorite new singer… and I haven’t heard her sing a single note.

  4. mmm hot stuff in the microwave

  5. Those braids add a perfect contrast to her womanly figure.

    It comes off very well and adds a touch of innocence to the effect

  6. *Yawn*

    Another slapper with fake knockers. Why can’t you post a picture of half naked guys for a change? Mmmmm?

  7. ssdd

    lol @ 1. .. Best ‘First’ Ever.

  8. amma

    b-o-r-i-n-g…{yawn}

  9. BABY

    BABY LOVES SUPERFICIAL DOT COM.

    SO MUCH MILK FOR BABY!

    BABY LOVES BIG NATURALS!

  10. Derek

    Who says they’re fake?

    I touched them in my dreams last night, and she was ALLL WOMAN.

    Mmmm.

  11. kitty_kat

    I understand the need for eye candy every now and then… but this site is turning into a “Let’s ogle everything with breasts and a vagina that wears a bikini or skimpy outfit” page. Yawn! Someone is definitely forgetting what this site is SUPPOSED to be about…

  12. vargagirl

    She looks like she has a bit of the downs.

  13. WhatASmartGirl

    Where does the fish find all these incredibly intelligent women. Just one look is all it took. If Gemma tutors then I’m in need of an algebra teacher. The Bikini is optional but the only other option is naked. I need Gemma to teach how to figure the value of x in the equation “1 + x = 1″. She knows the answer.

  14. Donkey Ass

    Those aren’t real??? :)

  15. Donkey Ass

    The only way to tell for sure is if they poke me in the eyes.

  16. Conky

    I would like to give this girl a pearl necklace.

    Thanks

  17. Auntie Kryst

    @5 C’mon Miss Universe please stop being so damn boring. Say it like it is, those braids would be perfect to hang onto. What great bridle straps-yeehaa!

  18. combustion8

    miss buttaface 2008

  19. costamar

    This from an interview published in Maxim. So they are fake but just as big as they were before? Discuss amongst yourselves.

    How has your life changed since you got your new breasts?

    My clothes have changed a lot, and I’ve done a calendar with my new assets. People keep saying they’re massive, but they’re the same size as they were – I’ve just lost loads of weight and had my boobs put back to the same size. They’re a 34D. I read somewhere they were a double F! I wouldn’t be able to walk!

  20. Harry

    Yup. Those fake boobs are gonna go over great in Crazy Conservative Tennessee.

  21. I thought she was ugly in Hollyoaks years ago (she really was), then she changed into this.

  22. Jazy

    Big tittied bitch……she hot…and she looks like you could really have a great conversation with her about world hunger and humanitarian acts of kindness.

  23. PunkA

    She dated Ronaldo? HAHAHAHA. Don;t get me wrong, I love ManU, but dated Ronaldo???? Tramp.

  24. oops!

    she forgot to suck in for picture #9

  25. gotmilk?

    who the hell is this ugly bitch? so you bleach your hair & bought fome fake knockers. and that makes you different from everyone else how?

    anyway, check out her face in picture #7. wtf is goign on here? someone needs to be fired because these photos are airbrushed horribly.

  26. criscodisco

    Ugh, I hope she can sing better than she can model, because with the exception of August, that’s the most forced smile I’ve ever seen in print.

  27. Hannah T

    God girl, buy a bikini that fits.

  28. Tits, Check, Ass, Check.

    Hey, Fish, I’m as horny as the next guy. But this is fucking LAME. There are millions upon millions of porn sites for this kind of shit. What are you supposed to say about this flotation device posing as a woman?

    Also, if she wants to be a soul singer that means she does black guys. Don’t post about mudsharks. It’s in the Constitution, one of the later amendments, thou shalt not post about mudsharks.

  29. Tits, Check, Ass, Check

    I just did a quick check on the Internet, and she used to date someone named Cleveland Campbell. Guess what? He’s a black dude.

    I’m getting really good at this. I can tell which girls are into black men with one quick look. Can I market this skill, do you think?

  30. IKE

    INCREDIBLE!!!
    Even when you factor in the “they aren’t real part” they still are just daaaaaaamn!

    Dude, I just read your shit, #28, you’re what people think of when they speak of the ‘Alabama inbred.’
    Go to “crazyshit.com” they love bigots over there.

  31. SSS

    I agree with some of the other comments about this site becoming repetitive: Brit, Paris, Lindsey, Posh , Jessica(s), Kim (the big butt), and unknown plastic-boobed tanning-bed bleached-blonde bimbos.

    /me stifles a yawn

  32. Spongebob Gangsta

    She’s got GORGEOUS eyes!

    …yet so do German Shepherds, which she must be very close to being one

    She’s got 2 squeek toys on da shesst.

  33. Tim Ambler

    I live in Nashville. I win.

  34. Wow!

    Oh my goodness!

  35. Figgy

    Big deal, yet another generic bottle-blond with bolt-on fake boobs.

    Couldn’t you at least show someone with a face that isn’t totally forgettable?

  36. Jane

    She has about the same figure as Britney Spears who everyone calls fat just with fake boobs but i will admit her face is much better than Britney’s

  37. lele

    jesus – airbrushed much? she was a very plain schoolgirl on hollyoaks and even her face is airbrushed to within an inch of her life here

  38. moka

    what’s up with this?? all pictures are about her brests!!! fake boobs, ugly face and no ass!! sure, she sings

  39. 1MILF Hunter

    Wow!! Nobody in England has a rack like that.

  40. allota vajinah

    why is it nowadays if u have big fake boobs ur considered a model?

  41. Keiri

    I dunno, but in picture #7 I am reminded of female body builders!

    Anyway, gross!

  42. igroovin

    she looks like tara reid

  43. yarg

    That so many guys can’t spot obviously fake breasts (they don’t pull away from your body like helium balloons no matter how nice and/or big) makes me think they don’t have much experience with women other than their magazines. And those are obviously not Ds- They can’t be called breasts if they are not made of breast tissue so someone should come up with a better term.

  44. allyrising

    #42

    My thoughts exactly. Except without the botched plastic surgery (kinda).

  45. meee

    am i the only one who looks at faces more than bodies these days? ew. anyone can buy fake tits. but that doesn’t fix your face.

  46. Rectangle

    I’m questioning whether to get that calendar. It doesn’t have much room for writing does it. I need to keep my appointments in check.

  47. Z

    she has beautiful eyes

  48. TS

    Those things are RIDICULOUS. love ‘em.

  49. ripper

    Only one thing to do with a chick like this.

    FUKERINTHEASS

  50. Ript1&0

    This chick is generic and fugly. Don’t give me this crap.

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