On Monday’s episode of The Hills – wait, hold on, I have to drink a Mason jar full of whiskey before I continue, okay, better – Lauren Conrad decides to bring her new date model Gavin Beasley over to her ex Brody Jenner’s place for a BBQ. This may be hard for some of you to read, but the entire thing was scripted. As in, not real. As in, the show is fake. I’ll let that shocking shocking news sink in. In the meantime, Gavin spoke to VH1′s Best Week Ever yesterday about his experience on the The Hills:
On being set up with Lauren:
“Then in August I got a call from my agency to go to a casting call for Teen Vogue, and Lauren and the camera crews just so happened to be there. She remembered me from our shoot, and the next thing I know, a producer’s asking me to ask Lauren for her number, and I’m signing release forms and being shot for The Hills. They wanted me to ask her about the runway show, how long she had worked that day, when would she get off, stuff like that.”
On meeting Lauren’s ex Brody:
“Like, they totally set up the BBQ scene for Brody and I to meet each other and talk because, as they said, ‘the audience would get a kick out of seeing ‘the ex’ talking to ‘the new guy’.’ So they rent this house in Malibu for a set, bought a bunch of food and drinks, and just filmed us hanging out. Brody would talk all this sh*t, then be like, ‘Sorry about that, we’re just trying to make good television.’”
On his “date” with Lauren:
“I honestly had a really hard time talking to her – she’s kind of a conversation killer, and when the cameras are rolling, all conversation is kept firmly on the surface…. In fact, the most interesting thing I got out of her was that she isn’t allowed to eat ice cream because her trainer told her she can’t.”
Does this mean that when Heidi and Lauren are talking on their cell phones and sipping iced lattes, they’re not really talking on their cell phones and sipping lattes? No, don’t tell me. I couldn’t bear the truth. I want to keep my memories the way they are. Pure like the driven snow. Ah, I can see Lauren now, babbling away about something or another, latte pressed to her lips. You’ll always be that way to me, Lauren Conrad. Always…
And now, Heidi Montag in a bikini. Because I’m pretty sure that’s relevant somehow.
If you look at pic # 10 you can see the Breast Implant.. that’s hot!
#79 sorry you nailed it first..
I love how “dumbass” is calling americans clones and idiots, yet he has about 15 posts that all say pretty much the same thing, “I’m so unique because I bash america’s youth. What? 5 other people already said that? Well I’m gonna say it 10 more times, that’ll make me really unique”. If you’re so enlightened, then why can you spell correctly, or use proper punctuation? There are stupid people in every country, you illustrate that quite well.
HAHA. HE TOTALLY JUST SAID ALL THAT BECAUSE LAUREN CALLED HIM BORING FIRST….
DUH!
@89
You’re a dumb ass cretin. Learn to read AND comprehend what people are writing. You illustrate the illiteracy in this country. I’m not bashing on all blondes you asstart. No where in that post did I say that. I’m bashing this stupid bitch who’s allowed herself to be prostituted for money and a culture that seems to deify talentless, corporate product. Where is this generation’s Alec Guinness or Humphrey Bogart? They don’t exist.
Instead we get this steaming pile of corporate shit, the strings being pulled by aging Baby Boomers who are out of touch with reality. They actually think that this garbage is viewable and people eat it up because it gives them some kind of meaning to their failed, miserable lives.
Which brings us to you, #89? Why the fuck to you give a shit? Even if I was ragging on all blondes, why the hell do you care? Did I point you out and say “#89 you’re a blonde and I fucking hate you.”?
Go choke down that corporate penis you have in your mouth, asshat.
PS: As for my anger, you’re damn right I’m angry. Why? Because no one else seems to be. People would would rather not stir up trouble and be complacent never offending or being offensive to anyone. Instead of speaking out on matters that are IMPORTANT (global warming, world hunger, disease) corporations have trained dogs who will lap up whatever shit gets thrown their way because they are unable, or unwilling to think for themselves.
Of course, since this is the Internet EVERYBODY is right and everyone is fucking Harvard Scholar in every subject so I’m sure someone will disagree with me.
Well, I’m bored with this shit. I’ve probably got better things to do with my time. I better get my harem gathered together so they can take turns going down on me.
Adios.
#89? Are you fucking serious? You’re a twit. Yes, I want to be a blonde woman! I’m going to give up my dick to be come a fake-ass blonde! It’ll be so great. Not having my cock. I’ll be able to really take “it” then. How much fun would it be to never have anybody ever listen a word you have to say, but still fuck you like a worthless piece-of trash? Fantastic!
what the hell is up with Heidi…
Why does she have her mouth OPEN??
Is she waiting for some……..
Tacos…
Omg Heidi has the weirdest face ever. That’s all I have to say on the matter. Thank you.
what’s wrong with her face.
This girl is just…is she even real, or just a parody?
I don’t get it. She’s so gross and skinny. Why is she even being talked about?
@ #84
i’m on round 34, and i still got something left…
damn, it turned purple about 2 hours ago.
That’s positively frightening…you can actually see her clit in #5. Eek. Now I’ll have to institute “clit checks” whenever I buy swimwear.
Your all such haters… minus her boob job, her body is fantastic! And shes pretty…. at least a lot prettier then most of you I’m sure! So stop sitting here on these blog sites criticizing everyone…. you come on here because you love looking at these pics, because you’re interested in them. I come on the same sites but at least I admit when someone is goodlooking. Get over yourselves people!
PLEASE stop with this Heidi Montag and “The Hills” stuff. You used to be so much funnier! PLEASE!!! Do your magic again, this is just boring stuff.
I mean, it’s JUST NOT FUNNY. Really. It isn’t.
And the Britney stuff? You’re correct, but man, let it go for a DAY, be the bigger person! She’s a stupid slob, we get it. She likes Starbucks and if her kids were junk food then she’d pay attention to them, or cook them, or whatever.
It was funny, now come on, be funny about other things…….it’s getting old, and I love this column! PLEASE! Really. Please………just…a break from that stuff, a little break………………..
Post some pictures of Lauren Conrad; she’s hotter than this vapid implant-having slut. Scripted or not, Heidi (‘s character?) is worthless.
heidi needs more plasric surgery…
she’s srill a fugly attenion whore with a pimp as a boyfriend./
@114
Frankly I come on this site to make witty comments about celebrity and asshats who deify them–invariably they show up.
These celebrities who have a gross national product of a third world country contribute absolutely NOTHING to our fucking society other than providing a brand of entertainment to the illiterate, uneducated masses. There is no socially redeeming quality to the smut they produce other than keeping you enfeebled.
As for the pictures, I do think she has a hot body. In my opinion though, If you want to rub one out go watch some good porn–at least they’re whores in the traditional sense and you dont have to see their stupid ass faces force fed to me through mass media everyday.
shes too skinny. doesnt look bad sometimes, but usually she looks almost dead. she looks like a freak with her mouth that open, it makes her look hideous. but then again, so does her soul! she’s a backstabbing b and a horrible friend. BRAINWASHED! HEIDI YU ARE BRAINWASHED! spencer is a douche
This chick is just fucking stupid, are you sure they didn’t suck out her brain and inject them in her boobs…
who walks around looking like that, what a tart.
why is her mouth perpetually open? cumbucket.
porn audition
why is she always opening her mouth like that…? she is pretty but that makes her look really strange……………… i wonder what she is trying to do… :-\
she definitely set this up, probably paid the paparazzi to come photograph her, then posted in porn fashion with her mouth open hoping at least someone would jack off to her. yep, im almost positive thats what went down.
Nice camel toe .
all these girls get a bit of plastic tucked under their chests and then act so slutty. like lindsay lohan and like this chick. lameo whoreo.
she is filming a music video thats why she looks like a retard with her mouth open n shit
Heidi needs to really close her mouth
she looks retarded
#114, Jane, there is something so sad about a person coming to a celebrity-bashing site to tell people they shoudn’t do it, to insult their physical appearances (even though you’ve no idea what anyone looks like), etc., then tell THEM to get over themselves. That strikes me as something that only an imbecilic dumbass would do. Are you an imbelcilic dumbass? I have a feeling that you are.
That said, I think Heidi belongs here because she is the ABSOLUTE EXAMPLE of what shallow, self-absorbed psuedo-stars are! She did a small stint in a forgettable, scripted ‘reality’ show, got fake tits and a fake nose (and admitted that the surgery was more important than the fact that she could have died on the table, that is, her LOOKS are more important than her life (and from I can see, maybe they really are-she’s pretty much a waste of asswipe)), and thinks she’s actually important and a big star. By next year it’s unlikely anyone will even remember her name.
You’re both imbelcilic dumbasses.
OK, looks like I have another word my fingers like to mispell on their own. That’s ‘imbecilic,’ not imbelcilic. Weagh.
Where’s her engagement ring? Oh no don’t tell me that’s scripted too!
holy razor burn! look at her crotch in 5 and 6
#129: her LOOKS are more important than her life (and from I can see, maybe they really are.
this should be they slogan for this website……anyone who is a blonde and thinks there better then anyone else (theres a couple that post here that do, you know who you are) You are in fact better then us Non-blondes: looks wise,but your lives depend on your looks cause thats all you have going for you………and thats beyond sad cause looks dont last forever….actually they last like seconds since most of your life is spent being old….so, blonds…..I would go develop a talent or something cause when your face starts to sag and the boys dont want your old blond use to be hot sagging ass ( cause there too busy looking at the “new” 18 year old blond with the perky tits) anymore, I dont want to here the gun go off in your mouth from, the serious depression you will face when you relize that people only liked you cause you were hott and now you have no purpose in life so they could care less about you exsistance.( on to fresh meat, your not the IT girl anymore). I dont want to be blond and I dont envy you in anyway, because no one will take you seriously and when your beauty fades theres nothing behind the eyes to back it up….only a shallow cave of emptiness.
and to note…..Im only talking to blonds who are shallow, vain and really believe that they are superior because they have light hair….and blue eyes. Not to ALL blonds so dont jump down my throat if your blond and I offend you because maybe I wasnt fucking talking to your ass! which then you have nothing to worry about, the guilty will be the ones who get offended, and bitch will bitch at me. Im not a perfect speller or grammar guru…so if you motherfukers have a problem with it….fuck off, Im not here to impress you. Just speaking my peace not preparing for a fucking english class so bite me.
#105 your fucking right….every word of it……..lap dogs….all of them……brainwashed lapdogs…why do blonds let people turn them into objects….they might be what everyone in america wants to look like…but no one cares about there personality at all no one cares about there opinions..or what comes out of there mouth as long as they have the right clothes, and the right car…and look the part ,there job is to look pretty..there a fucking slab of meat to all of us…whores in every sense of the word ,and shows like the hills prove this to be true. Blonds are actually proud of this? why the fuck would you be proud of the fact that you are just a novelty? are you fucking brain dead! Again I might not be talking to a specific blond if you feel that you are not what I just decribed then you have no reason to bitch at me , so don’t
Never seen it.
Please you skinny whore. Go back home and do some laundrey or something. Anything, but not posing in bikinis on the beach. Because almost every girl with alot of kim kardashian-meat looks attractive in bikinis. But you look just awful with practicely nooo flesh on the bones. I have to PUKE!!
Nice razor burn on #5. Sexxxxxxxxy.
Heidi is kind of boring to look at. anyways, yeah after watching this episode, it was hard to believe that it wasn’t setup. he wasn’t even her type. everything he liked she didnt. next to her, Lauren just sounds really unadventurous.
I can’t believe The Hills is scripted. It seemed so real.
Not.
118. Mama Pinkus – October 28, 2007 1:18 AM
Just a shout-out to Texas Tranny – I’ve always thought I was brave just being a liberal in this piece of shit state. That you survive with a sense of humor – AWESOME
Thanks Mama,
Mostly I travel as TT under the cover of darkness, where I can conceal my true identity behind a fabulous dress, wig and make-up. Everyday though, I do wear a sign of TT – pretty panties, under my slacks.
nipples are unnaturally high? and also, does she think it’s attractive to pose with your mouth gaping open? what the hell is wrong with this girl
Jebus, someone strayed too far from her group at retard camp. Is this girl for real??? I didn’t know girls that stupid lived past their teens. I always thought they kicked the first time they tried to blow dry their hair in the shower.
Poor girl that’s her attempt at being seductive? I haven’t seen anything so fake lame and forced and since Tom said his wedding vows to Katie. Did this chick buy the Paris Hilton guide to posing naturally infornt of a camera? Fucking shit that is painfully aweful she must be the biggest fucking bore in the sack. She’s the kind of chick who would use a ceiling mirror to check her hair and makeup and to try to look “hot” posing and make “sexy” faces smiling at her reflection while the poor sap did all the work.
Had she been old enough this girl would have gotten rejected from Baywatch for not being a good enough actress and for being too stupid looking.
She probalby stands out as one of the dumbest chicks in Cali, now that’s an
accomplishment.
The Hills is fake??? No fucking Shit Sherlock, there’s not ONE real ,genuine, honest thing in all of Hollywood. Howev, I do not believe it is fully scripted solely because if you’ve seen these fucking mental midgets in action you’d know they barely have a grasp on the basics of the English language and that it is a miracle they are all still alive today what with there being so many sharp and flamable objects in the world. Fact is there is no way in fuck that people this brainless, vapid, worthless, lazy, and fucking godawefully painfully stupid could ever be able to or have the minimal work ethic required to memorize a bunch of brain numblingly, illogical, shakespear torturing lines.
She kind of reminds me of a seagull. The way her mouth is open, it looks like she’s about to squack out, “CAW! CAWW!”
she’s so akwardly shy and insecure. god her boobs could NOT look any more fake… and is she yawning in almost every picture but like two? that kid spencer really needs to let his lady know it’s time to work on the ‘o’ face
#133-135 you’re fucking-ass right I’m beautiful and of course it won’t last long! Beauty fades, so it’s a good thing I’m educated and have a life, too.
I’m not gettting mad that you’re all ripping on Heidi-I hate this chick-she’s part of the plateau of lameness that’s been reached here lately w/ other Hills TV ‘celebs’”"(gag on calling them celebs) ., I’m just sick of the stereotype that blondes have because it’s’ just as wrong as any other stereotype.
I gained 100 pounds with my second child, (I’m not exaggerating, it was 100 exactly)..in the last year I lost it all and I look better than I ever have..and with 2 babies I work my ass off
. . People treated me completely different when I was overweight though- it’s horrible the way society places that kind of value on weight.
So I’m not ‘blonde’ in the sense that I’m a fucking fake ditzy idiot like this chick, but I’m still proud of how I look and always will be. Even when I look like DickRichards -old,grey, and senile. But that’s a LONG way off..
good thing she paid for those titties….that’s her only asset.
gorgeous girl, she is so sexy and lovely. i heard that she has a account on a dating site called sugarcupid.com, why does she go there, is she lonely.
So what’s next for Heidi…..Playboy?