So Gavin Rossdale’s Probably Banging The Nanny

While Gwen Stefani’s in the middle of a No Doubt tour to promote their reunion and new album, here’s Gavin Rossdale hiking with the nanny and his kids on Sunday and I’m pretty sure that’s his hand casually touching her ass. Which is usually what happens when you’re a paranoid, yet awesome assed, control freak who spends all day obsessively putting on makeup out of fear that your husband might leave you only to turn around and abandon him with the chesty 20-something nanny you inexplicably hired even though you live in a state that’s 90% populated with homely, middle-aged Mexican women that only a sex-crazed Austrian would bang. Because, seriously, think of your chest as a dry, arid desert Gavin Rossdale’s been trapped in for years and now imagine putting him in a room with Susie McStillYoungAndAliveFromNotHavingKids and her giant water balloons for tits because that’s what you did.

UPDATE: So this turned out to be his sister which changes nothing, you hear? NOTHING.

UPDATE 11/11/15: And we’re right back where we started because Gavin really was banging the nanny.