Gary Coleman must be broke as shit and other news

August 12th, 2009 // 23 Comments

- Chris Brown is truly suffering for beating the shit out of Rihanna. I mean, he went to the club last night without an entourage. I thought we were done torturing as a nation? [Got your back, Lainey.]

- Heidi Montag still hasn’t told her dad she’s posing in Playboy so she can maintain her “Christian values.” My brain just folded in on itself after typing that sentence. I drool now. [Socialite Life]

- Jack Nicholson’s decrepit body has sex with women. Yet somehow I find this less improbable than Jon Gosselin’s neverending poon train. [Celebslam]

- Alessandra Ambrosio licking an ice cream cone. There is a God. [The Blemish]

- Gwyneth Paltrow’s cooking videos are like “watching paint dry,” according to Real Housewives of New York star Bethenny Frankel. Which is ironic considering that show is like watching middle-aged women’s vaginas dry. Too real? [Just Jared]

- Shia LaBeouf’s masturbation problem is solved! [PopSugar]

- Criss Angel is still alive despite Internet rumors to the contrary and this voodoo doll I told Britney Spears was a hot dog. [PopEater]

Thanks to Katrina for the photo submission except now I’m hungry for French fries with a side of sadness sauce.

superficial

  1. Actually Gary looks a little stale in that pic.
    Poor dude. He’d probably own an island across the water from David Copperfield if his adoptive parents hadn’t ripped him off.

    Let us just be clear…Heidi wasn’t naked, correct? So who cares? She’s all over the net in bikinis.
    Anyway, I can’t really put into words how stupid that is.
    Shitting all over Jesus while lying about having/pretending to have Christian values = having Christian values.
    Okay. Please kill yourself. You disgust me.

    @ 4, 7 – :P

  2. Mama Pinkus

    aw leave Gary Coleman alone – he’s making an honest living which makes him better than a lot of people, including most politicians

  3. B Nice

    I’m with Mama Pinkus on this one. Here’s a guy who is trying to make an honest living.

    It’s a sucky gig. We’ve all had sucky gigs.

    As a “superficial” comment: he hasn’t gained weight, he hasn’t tatooed a scorpion to his balls, he hasn’t abused his kids, etc.

    He was a kid when his parents thrust him down this path. Unlike most of the others, he seems to be “trying.”

  4. whattheshit

    Must not be too broke, he blew off an appearance at the Chicago Comic Con this weekend with Todd Bridges.

  5. Randal

    Gary with your sunshine smiles and broad shoulders accentuated masculinely in a Pierre le Schendau flannel, you look better than we have seen you of late. And doing what you do best. Making others happy!
    Here to you Mr. Coleman!

    xoxoxo
    Randal

  6. maddie

    I think it’s kind of sad that your all picking on Gary Coleman, he’s broke because his parents screwed him out of his money.

  7. jess

    He’s been doing crappy commercials and ads for years now .

  8. zippythewonderslug

    Has Gary been hanging out with Barry Bonds? Look at the size of his head. Gotta be the steriods.

    For only $100.00, you can have your very own life sized Gary Coleman Bobblehead!!! (French Fries not included)

  9. Jon and Kate suck my dick

    This will be the Gosselin kids in 20-30 years

  10. Jeffer

    Looks like dried fruit………

  11. Jay

    Gotta love Canadian french fry ads. They have a japanese elvis poster too!

  12. J

    Can’t he just fade away…forever?
    What a sad life.

  13. GCRulez

    I always liked Gary. The guy’s got a great attitude despite all the shit throwers and whinytarts who don’t know him.

    And his Johnson is WAY bigger than Obama’s. Hilary and Pelosi both say so!

  14. Buzzetta

    He looks like a mini version of Nipsy Russell

  15. Do what you want in hell, just do not tell anyone, and we hope that God does not get caught. Then pray in the night when you are entertainment.

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