Gary Oldman’s Still Apologizing

When Gary Oldman issued an apology for his Playboy interview where he agreed with drunken Mel Gibson that “The Jews” run Hollywood and Alec Baldwin should be allowed to call the paparazzi faggots without fear of reprisal, there were two ways to look at it, and admittedly, even I couldn’t tell: Either it was a sarcastic “Fuck You” to the Anti-Defamation League, or it was a way too syrupy sweet blowjob to them written by an overzealous PR flack. Regardless, they weren’t having it, and so here is the part where manly men expected Gary to come out guns-blazing and continue his one-man war on politically correct pussies and their faggot-like regard for others, but instead he went on Jimmy Kimmel and cried and apologized some more because, again, it’s written right in the interview that even Gary Oldman realized Gary Oldman was saying stupid shit Gary Oldman shouldn’t have been saying. As for why he didn’t get out in front of it, I’ll assume he actually thought Playboy would edit out the Mel Gibson stuff instead of going, “Holy shit, you got that on tape?!” and riding pageview unicorns into mountains of coke. And when you think about it, of course he’s apologizing because at the end of the day, his main argument is that we’re all as racist, homophobic, misogynistic, whatever as Mel Gibson which is a pretty fucking tall order. Christ, even this neighborhood watch member who just got outed as a KKK Grand Dragon is remarkably polite(-ish):

“I know we have a bad name, but it’s not that way no more,” he insists. “When was the last time a black or Hispanic got hung on a tree?

And here’s Mel Gibson:

“You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.”

The words you’re looking for are, “Jesus Christ, he made a Klan member sound like he’s serving afternoon tea.” But go ahead and think Gary Oldman was right in saying we’re all just as bad. Unless some of you really are scoring blowjobs with threats of arson, in which case, what’s your secret? *takes out a pen and pad*

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