“I’d first like to personally apologize to Matthew McConaughey, a sterling example of your kind- what’s that? Goddammit.”
If you somehow were nowhere near the Internet yesterday, Gary Oldman experienced a whirlwind of shit after his recent Playboy interview was published online and included the following defense of Mel Gibson:
Mel Gibson is in a town that’s run by Jews and he said the wrong thing because he’s actually bitten the hand that I guess has fed him—and doesn’t need to feed him anymore because he’s got enough dough.
Alec calling someone an F-A-G in the street while he’s pissed off coming out of his building because they won’t leave him alone. I don’t blame him.
Both were examples for an odd, out-of-nowhere rant on “political correctness” that even Gary Oldman immediately realized were exactly the wrong choices and made him look like a bigot. Which is a mindset Gary Oldman has never exhibited or shown any proclivity towards until now, and backed right the fuck away from it because he’s a rational adult who, despite his previous rant, does realize words have meanings:
“So this interview has gone very badly. You have to edit and cut half of what I’ve said, because it’s going to make me sound like a bigot.”
Of course, by then the Jew-cat was out of the bag, and Gary Oldman was being rightly criticized for perpetuating anti-Semitic talking points while also being trumpeted by the right as their newest “telling like it is” hero. Because if the commenters on yesterday’s post taught me anything, it’s that “real men” don’t give a fuck about anyone which is why we should start some more wars before everyone sits around in their skinny jeans a second longer worrying about faggots getting a fair shake in life. Which is what makes Gary Oldman so fucking America awesome. He’s not afraid to stand up to liberal pussies because he’s right and no one can tell him he’s wrong. Except Gary Oldman who just admitted he was wrong:
Dear Gentlemen of the ADL:
I am deeply remorseful that comments I recently made in the Playboy Interview were offensive to many Jewish people. Upon reading my comments in print—I see how insensitive they may be, and how they may indeed contribute to the furtherance of a false stereotype. Anything that contributes to this stereotype is unacceptable, including my own words on the matter. If, during the interview, I had been asked to elaborate on this point I would have pointed out that I had just finished reading Neal Gabler’s superb book about the Jews and Hollywood, An Empire of Their Own: How the Jews invented Hollywood. The fact is that our business, and my own career specifically, owes an enormous debt to that contribution.
And just like Duck Dynasty, Gary Oldman completely folded. Except here’s the thing in Gary Oldman’s case. Like I mentioned before, he’s never run around (or at least been caught) condemning gays or Jews or done anything to the level of Mel Gibson and Alec Baldwin because, at the end of the day, Gary Oldman generally seems like a reasonable person. He realized exactly how far his foot went into his mouth the second it happened, and instead of doubling down LIKE A MAN, he re-examined his choice of words and went, “I could’ve said all of that better.” A trait, by the way, that Gary says he admires in his directors: Admitting when you’re wrong or have no fucking clue what you’re doing at the moment. Which is what makes this whole fiasco all the more frustrating because, I said it yesterday, the interview is genuinely interesting as tits if you’ve been a fan of Gary Oldman’s work. I literally read it twice, and here’s where I pinpointed it went wrong: Gary brought right-wing radio host Douglas Urbanski with him to the interview, and so in the middle of an otherwise fascinating discussion, you get this weird, misplaced, and clearly regrettable Fox News-ian rant about “political correctness” because shitting on minorities is what makes this country so great. Or something. And that’s coming from me who firmly believes politics should be crammed into every single discussion. That’s my exact jam. Unfortunately, in this case, it deprived us all from focusing on this awesome anecdote:
“Just like anyone out here, anybody in this industry, you’re working with attractive people, you’re young, and one thing leads to another. Few are immune to it. I remember being at a dinner many years ago in New York with Arthur Miller. I was sitting next to him. After we loosened up with a few glasses of vino, I turned to him and said, ‘Do you ever walk down the street and just stop and go, ‘Fuck, I was married to Marilyn Monroe’?’ He went, ‘Yeah.’
And this little gem:
PLAYBOY: Do people come up and say, “Get off my plane,” like Harrison Ford says to you in Air Force One?
OLDMAN: More than a few times. That movie had some enjoyable moments. I remember the flight deck was on a sound stage and there was a big sign that said NO DRINKING, NO SMOKING AND NO EATING ON SET. At one point I looked over and Harrison was in the doorway beneath the sign with a burrito, a cigar and a cup of coffee, which I thought was hilarious. I could never get the image out of my head. Nowadays we would take out an iPhone and post something like that on Instagram.
Long story short, you’re losing the culture war, shitheads. Suck it. (I’m helpful.)
UPDATE: Gary Oldman just personally apologized for the second time on Jimmy Kimmel, so to everyone saying he was being sarcastic, guess again.