Gabriel Aubry is Suing Halle Berry For Child Support And Lawyer’s Fees

Posted by Photo Boy

Since Halle Berry wants to move their child to France to punish Gabriel Aubry for slinging racial slurs at her (he didn’t) and assaulting a nanny (he didn’t), he’s now suing her for a tremendous amount in lawyer’s fees and child support. Via TMZ:

Gabriel Aubry is asking the judge in his custody war with Halle Berry for a half a million bucks in attorney’s fees, and $20,000 a month in child support,

What I take away from this is some sage wisdom. Fellas? By all means, if you’re able, impregnate a wealthy woman. Make sure she’s good and crazy too, that way you’re ensured that you won’t have to stay with her forever. And when the relationship ends, cha-CHING! I mean Jennifer Love Hewitt’s out there willing to pay a stranger just to touch her vagina. Can you imagine what actual penetration is worth? Oh Jesus, what have I done? Gabriel! I’m so sorry. When she comes at you, and honestly you probably only have a few minutes at this point, tie a Tiffany bag to the end of a long stick and wave it back and forth. Then dial 911 and wait inside a circle of ice cream sandwiches and pray that she doesn’t eat through them before the police reach you. GODSPEED!

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN