****NO LONGER TAKING SUBMISSIONS****
Alright, guys, huge thanks for competing in our Botox giveway. Once we sift through this gargantuan pile of comments, we’ll be posting the winning caption right here on the site. In the meantime, feel free to scope out what your fellow readers came up with – or maybe even hook them up with the name of a good therapist. Just sayin’.
Thanks again to everyone that submitted a caption!
****NO LONGER TAKING SUBMISSIONS****
With the holiday season rapidly approaching, nobody cares more about you looking awesome than The Superficial. No, really, that’s science. Which is why we’re offering you a chance to win $500 towards Botox treatment at a physician near you. (And, sorry, Sharon Stone, you can’t use it on your son’s feet..)
Starting Monday, Nov. 24 until 12 PM PST Monday, Dec. 1, here’s all you gotta do to enter:
1. Come up with a caption for the top photo.
2. Post it in the comment section along with a valid e-mail address which will NOT be published or used to sell you Mexican Viagra.
3. Think happy thoughts.
From there our crack team will pick the best caption with the winner receiving the aforementioned Botox goodness. To sweeten the pot, the winner will also be eligible to appear in a before/after post on The Superficial which, let’s be real, kicks the crap out of winning the lottery. (Don’t want your beautiful mug plastered on the Internet? No problem. We’ll still give you the free Botox. Who loves ya?)
Let the Games Begin!
See, my farts do smell like roses
this is interesting.
I am not posting a caption for the top photo. The Superficial is not getting my real e-mail address.
Haha suckers!
I would sit down… but there’s nothing to sit on.
Nothing tickles more… than crabs on your thighs
I would sit down… but there’s nothing to sit on.
Nothing tickles more… than crabs on your thighs
Paris immediately regretted speaking out on her urinary incontinence and agreeing to be the new spokeswoman for Depends.
Tip slip!
“I think I just leaked” chough@palms.net
I think I lost my ben wa ball? Have you seen it?
Paris: ooooo…..i gotta pee so bad
Girl on right looking at Paris’ crotch…..too late.
See, girls? It looks just like that guy’s armpit!
“Let’s all get high and look at my vagina”
Instead of, “From there our crack team”… the Fishes post should read, “From there our team on crack”
That’s it …just keep smiling Paris, maybe no one will realize you just SHAT yourself….
I just let one rip, That’s Hot!
“Sorry, haven’t shaved my kitty in a while…a Loooong while. Go HIPPIES!” (yanks out hairy fur ball between thighs)
Paris Hilton – “See, Girls Poop Too!!”
Move your head, bitch. You’re blockin my upskirt.
I’m sorry, but I think I just got Herpes on your seat.
Sure you can borrow it, but it’ll need fresh batteries.
Damn, that was a good burrito…..
.
Yes, I did have the chili. Why?
Do you want to be my new BFF?
We can wear silly headbands together.
Yes, I did have the chili. Why?
Paris Hilton taking a dump in the back of a convertible, thanks to botox, you can’t even see her face straining.
Oops, I just farted…
the only kind of sex paris should be having is with a senso ring.
No thanks, only thing I need botox on is my wrinkly balls
” I think I just queefed”
Tina Fey Was Right, Paris IS a Tranny!
I have to pee!! Can somebody shove a fire hose up my pussy? Why? It’s the only drainage thingy that won’t fall out.
Annnnd this is what it’ll look like when you reach my age…..yeah the curtains tend to get a bit tattered…what can I say, it’s a occupational hazard.
Tina Fey Was Right, Paris IS a Tranny!
got malibu barbie? stiff arms and legs, fake tan, plastic face and a fabulous 80′s outfit!
::::::GO SHORTY, GO SHORTY, we’re gonna party like it’s your birthday!!!::::::::
ooops. wrong rapper guy. my bad.
Good evening, I’m Pocahontas and I’ll be your cocktail waitress.
“Paris Hilton has gremlin face-widening surgery”
i’m so sorry, i accidentally just did your boyfriend. happy birthday.
Ooops! I just sat on Benji!
I’ve got a mangina!
Tinkerbelll…..time to come out now…
Rich young chick: What’s that smell?
Paris: What smell?
Rich young chick: And why is there a flock of seagulls following you?
Paris: Oh no! I forgot my panties again, RUN!!!
Paris Hilton attempts to demonstrate the nationality of her new boyfriend Nick.
I love showing you young girls how to unscrew the top of a big pickle jar with just your va-jay-jay. That vinegar smell is the pickles girls, and not the industrial strength crotch clean that the Superficial Writer likes to sniff so much. Opps, maybe I’m wrong! Stand back, watch your eyes, careful of the fumes. Damn that crotch clean and its minor side affects, you girls should be able to see again in a couple days….sorry..hehehe
Paris Hilton attempts to demonstrate the nationality of her new boyfriend Nick.
Like, you guys wanna see something REALLY gross?
“Hey girls look! I tricked the Superficial Guy, no couchie tonight, I am wearing panties!”
Rich young chick: What’s that smell?
Paris: What smell?
Rich young chick: And why is there a flock of seagulls following you?
Paris: Oh no! I forgot my panties again, RUN!!!
Why, yes, I do have crabs. How sweet of you to notice!
Alternately:
This headband is holding on my weave, gals! Shhh…