Martin Short Killed A Man! (No, He Didn’t, Sit Down)

Because the Internet Left is a circular firing squad who can’t wait to devour its own, the fucking fantastic Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has been labeled “problematic” because of it’s supposedly racist stereotypes which it’s gay black star has already laughed right off. Except now the show’s in even more shit because it may have killed a man – famed plastic surgeon Dr. Frederic Brandt who was awesomely parodied by Martin Short – provided you overlook every detail about his life like, oh I dunno, he was a vain narcissist who constantly injected drugs into his own face the second they were approved by the FDA. Via Gawker:

Also, experimenting on his own face. He had an illness of experimenting on his own face. Via The New York Times:

And there is Dr. Brandt himself, who has experimented over the decades with self-administered injections of Botox and an array of fillers — Restylane, Perlane, Juvéderm, Voluma — as each new substance gained approval of the Food and Drug Administration and entered the marketplace. The result is a mask of serene immobility, a face with a creaseless brow, a square firm jawline, lips feminine in their puffy fullness. His skin is impressively smooth and so pale as to lend him a lunar aspect. Strangers often inquire, Dr. Brandt said, whether he is from Sweden.
“Actually,” he replies, “I’m a Jewish kid from Newark.”

So now that we’ve all written clickable headlines about a sitcom driving a man to allegedly commit suicide – *wipes SEO off chin* – let’s take a minute to say the more likely culprit was Dr. Brandt finally went full Face/Off and has been Nicolas Cage this whole time. Which doesn’t explain the body… oh, God, the real Nic Cage! Check the pockets for dinosaur skulls and castle keys!

Photo: Netflix/Getty