Fred Durst is still alive!? Son of a…

October 8th, 2007 // 42 Comments
1008_fred_durst.jpg

Our country is at war. Global warming is increasing at an alarming rate. Gas prices are on the rise. All stuff I can pretty much learn to deal with. What I am having trouble coping with is finding out that rap-rock ass-clown Fred Durst still walks among us. And, get out of town, he directed a movie. TMZ reports:

While waiting for their cars, Paxton was asked about the possibility of Durst guest-starring on “Big Love,” to which Paxton beamed, “I sure hope so, he’d rock that show.” Really?

Then, without any prompting at all, Paxton continued, “Have you seen his movie, ‘The Education of Charlie Banks’? It’s the real deal.”

Oh, wait, Bill Paxton says it’s awesome. Then you know it’s good. You know, that, “Hey, I don’t have herpes just Chlamydia” kind of good. Not the “Yay, Fred Durst is dead” good. Which is the awesomest type of good imaginable. Though to Fred’s credit, I believe now he really can have sex with Britney Spears and not pretend that he did. But even at her lowest would Britney be that dumb? If you’re thinking I’m going to say it depends if Fred Durst has a Bacon Cheeseburger taped to his nads, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

superficial

  1. weewillywinkie

    zzzzzzzzzzzzz

  2. jeeves

    DORK

  3. Grace

    I think Britney would prefer an In-n-Out shake around Fred Durst’s nads, that is, if he actually has nads in the first place… the jury’s still out for me.

  4. veggi

    He slept with Paris and caught the wonk eye.

  5. bone daddio

    if you put a bag over that meh face, I’d let Fish lick him from stem to stern!

    juicy!

  6. ssdd

    Fred?…Whats he coming back around for? ..Running out of money?…. …

    and Bill Paxton … can’t stand the way that fucking girl looks. He needs to crawl back into the little gay cave he slithered out from. Ball nibbling bastard.

  7. Doomhammer

    Yo Yo Yo Fred being as hardcore as ever yo !!!

    See you at the MTV spring break house this april Fred? Check.

  8. Who the hell is this guy? I thought he got arrested for eating a baby.

  9. Habitual Line Stepper

    It’s true that I’m a complete and total asshole, but I thought the:

    You know, that, “Hey, I don’t have herpes just Chlamydia” kind of good. Not the “Yay, Fred Durst is dead” good. Which is the awesomest type of good imaginable.

    line was hilarious.

  10. Mike

    If this article is about Fred Durst, why does it show a picture of Andrew Sullivan?

  11. NewOrleansNegroSwimleague

    Snore……zzzzzzzzz…………………Wigger…….

  12. jrzmommy

    WHO?

  13. boo

    Wow, he’s looking old. And I just found out his age the other day; he really is older than I thought. He always acted so juvenile so I assumed he was younger. But now he’s really looking his age. Anyways, I believe the claim he made about slappin his limp biscuit to Britney. Its not too far fetched. Not then, not now.

  14. Italian Stallion

    He was in that movie “Castaway” right? Wasn’t his friend a coconut? That would explain why he slept with Britney, and come to think of it, any Limp Bizkit Cd……..

  15. havoc

    He’s a serious artist now.

    I heard he’s going to be the new host of Masterpiece Theater……

    Bwaaaaauuugh! LMFAO!!!

    Sorry, I couldn’t do it…..

    .

  16. Fred Durst

    The reason you haven’t heard much of me lately is because you apparently don’t watch gay porn. I produce, direct and act. It’s the most fulfilling experience I’ve ever had.

    The beard is discolored because of butt juice!

    As for Britney, I couldn’t get it up and ultimately discovered that I was gay.

    Bitches!

  17. Miguelito

    There’s no such thing as global warming, dork. Don’t try to be edgy in your humor and just repeat that propaganda. Do you really think that, if there were global warming, they would make cartoons about it with farting penguins?

    Commies run this country and this is just a way to eventually raise taxes on lightbulbs, air, water and shit. Read about Tesla — we could have had unlimited free energy decades ago. But that isn’t good for business.

  18. Zing!

    If they ever taxed your shit, you would go broke.

  19. aregularmess

    it’s too early for a playoff beard.

  20. jakebarnes

    If you squint just right, he sorta doesn’t look like a douchenozzle in this picture. The Wayne Coyne beard is a good look for him.

  21. wondering

    What happened to his hair? Didn’t he have hair?

  22. Missystar

    I could have sworn I just read that this asswipe mowed down several people with his car. Anyone know the details?

  23. Dick Richards

    Yes! When you’re a badass rockstar-maniac-fucking-sex machine, and you start to bald like somebody’s middle aged father, shave your head bald! No one ‘ll notice. Oh yeah, and grow a beard! Durst always was the most stylish poseur! Rap-Rock! Hey, lets sombine the best elements of hardcore, and the best elements of rap, and call it “Rap-core.” It’s “hard”, and it has “rhymes.” Great..

    P.S. You ever seen footage of Durst spraining his ankle mid-concert? He jumped up for one of his patented fag-beserker-hardcore doushe moves and landed wrong with his stylishly loose skate shoes; his foot twisted like cardboard! It was hilarious.

  24. cookie monsta

    fred’s a pissant soggy sao champion.

  25. NewOrleansNegroSwimleague

    #24, HAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAH

  26. AfricaRocks

    fuckin wankers…..u cant diss Fred Durst…….

    Representn Limp Bizkit Style!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  27. lol, 12! If that’s all he caught, he’s a lucky little professor.

  28. josh

    erm, his movie won best picture at the tribeca film festival. looks like your the ass clown………

  29. jdu

    #31, you wouldn’t happen to have a clip of that douchebag move would you? Sounds hilarious.

  30. D. Richards

    You could probably find the clip on Youtube. I can’t remember where I saw Durst fuck-up like that but, yeah, it was awesome.

  31. fredrules

    all you motherfuckers are just haters..the dude was the shit back in the day.still is in many peoples eyes..dont even try to say taht when limp bizkit was hot you didnt listen to it…

  32. Tyler

    Haha, WTF, You call that talking shit about Fred? Hahah Idk I think i could do way better I mean he was in a band named after a limp dick but damn take some classes or something that rant was pathetic. :) Don’t Take it personally haha.

  33. Wow!!!!!!!!!! Many beauty, too, are very beautiful, I like to see my elated, do not know whether this is a great master of beauty?

  34. Wow!!!!!!!!!! Many beauty, too, are very beautiful, I like to see my elated, do not know whether this is a great master of beauty?

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