Fred Phelps Is Dying

March 17th, 2014 // 54 Comments
Fred Phelps Westboro Baptist

According to Gawker, former Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps is dying in Topeka, Kansas. And considering those words just filled your heart with a sliver of hope and joy for the future, I really don’t have anything else to say here. You’re welcome.

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Photo: AP

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  1. Shit, he’s going to get my seat up front in Hell. Oh well, that’s a fair trade.

  2. JC

    If there is an afterlife, may he find all the hot, sweaty-man butt sex he so clearly wanted in life.

  3. Oh BABY

    His death won’t stop the Westboro Baptist Church people from behaving the way they do, and if you’re going to celebrate the man’s death, you’re no better than he is. You’re a hypocrite, Fish.

  4. My only regret here is that the cause of death isn’t “he had the shit beat out of him with several baseball bats.” It seems somehow fitting to me.

  5. Alec Baldwin, Mel Gibson, Hitler, Pat Robertson, Russia, Walt Disney and William Whatcott

    He always seemed like a pretty good guy to us..

  6. Judge Chamberlain Haller

    I wonder who will picket his funeral?

  7. Run n Gun

    Speaking or religion, did anyone watch Cosmos last night?

    DeGrasse did an awesome job of breaking down natural and artificial selection and evolution.I can’t wait for the howls of blasphemy to start coming from the right.

    • While I loved the original series with Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson is doing an amazing job with the new series. This is some exiting television.

  8. While I normally do not celebrate the end to anyone’s life, this man has had such a toxic influence on his followers and has caused so many people pain and anguish when they were at their lowest points, that I can’t help but feel relief that he will soon be gone from this Earth.

    It’s not a celebration, but I will not mourn his loss and likely neither will anyone else outside of his inbred circle. Good riddance to bad rubbish. May Westboro Baptist dissipate into the nothingness it so richly deserves.

    • Unfortunately, his daughter Shirley — who is actually Fred’s clone in a dowdy wig — is just as batshit as he is, and still running things.

  9. Juch

    Is that Matt Damon on the poster? If so, why?

  10. PassingTrue

    When Fred Phelps looks up, I don’t believe he sees the same God that I believe in. I won’t take any pleasure in his expected passing, but I will shed a tear toward those whose loved ones he chose to plague with his misspent life. In my opinion, his “church” is a complete fraud and derserves neither the words “Baptist” nor “church” to provide the slightest veneer of respectability to the hate filled screed they peddle.

  11. I suspect that his dying is done in a manner consistent with that of a bitch.

  12. Well Well karma does work .

  13. Eric

    Next time you paint Republicans with a broad brush of racism and intolerance, remember that Fred Phelps is a Democrat, just like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, Jeremiah Wright, Bull Connor, George Wallace, Al Gore Sr., Robert Byrd, Hugo Black, Ernest Hollings, Lester Maddox, and whole lot more.

    • *sigh*

      fucking retarded. this is what happens when you invest too much into red vs blue, dem vs repub, us vs them, me vs you.

    • hey Eric, you uptight cunt – please do point out the part in this article where Fred Phelps is being identified as a Republican.

      ….we’ll wait.

      • Eric

        Wow “uptight cunt”, I guess I touched a nerve there. I never said that this article called Phelps a Republican, but if he were do you really think that Fish would have left that fact out?

        Democrats LOVE to throw out the race card. So I thought it might be worth reminding folks that Democrats have a VERY long history of racism and intolerance, and that guys like Fred Phelps are under their tent.

      • “Democrats have a VERY long history of racism and intolerance.”

        Correct. The party does. But then in the late 60s the racist Dixiecrats left and went over to the Republican Party thanks to Nixon’s Southern Strategy. A few stragglers like Phelps stayed behind out of a tradition, but they were outliers at best. So the Democratic history of racism that you’re trying to call out is literally the Republican Party now. It’s called history. Read it sometime.

      • Eric

        Fish, go look up all of the Senators and Congressmen who voted against the Civil Rights Act. Almost all of them were Democrats, and almost all of them stayed Democrats for years, continuously getting elected as Democrats and many getting replaced by Democrats.
        For example; Robert Byrd, John Stennis, Al Gore sr, James Eastland, Sam Ervin, James Fullbright, Richard Russell, Herman Talmadge.

        Look at Hugo Black, considered one of the great liberal Supreme Court Justices, he was a KKK member appointed by FDR.

        For example, since reconstruction Georgia elected its first Republican Senator in 1981, and its first Republican Governor in 2002. If Nixon’s Southern Strategy drove the Dixiecrats over to the Republicans, then why did so many of the racist Democats continue to be re-elected?

        Your argument also doesn’t explain modern day racists and bigots like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan. A racist is still a racist and the Democrats still have a lot of them. I’m not going to say that there are no racist Republicans, but it is hypocritical of Democrats to act like they are so pure of racism and don’t have a shameful past history of racism.

        “There’s white racist DNA running through the synapses of his or her brain tissue. They will kill their own kind, defend the enemies of their kind or anyone who is perceived to be the enemy of the milky white way of life.” — Jeremiah Wright

        “I want to go up to the closest white person and say: ‘You can’t understand this, it’s a black thing’ and then slap him, just for my mental health.” — Charles Barron, a New York city councilman at a reparations rally, 2002

        “Civil rights laws were not passed to protect the rights of white men and do not apply to them.” — Mary Frances Berry, Chairwoman, US Commission on Civil Rights

        (I) “will not let the white boys win in this election.” — Donna Brazile, Al Gore’s Campaign Manager on the 2000 election

        “The old white boys got taken fair and square.” — San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown after winning an election

        “The Medicaid system must have been developed by a white male slave owner. It pays for you to be pregnant and have a baby, but it won’t pay for much family planning.” — Jocelyn Elders

        “The white man is our mortal enemy, and we cannot accept him. I will fight to see that vicious beast go down into the lake of fire prepared for him from the beginning, that he never rise again to give any innocent black man, woman or child the hell that he has delighted in pouring on us for 400 years.” — Louis Farrakhan who campaigned for congresswoman Cynthia McKinney in 2002, City College audience in New York

        “The Jews don’t like Farrakhan, so they call me Hitler. Well, that’s a good name. Hitler was a very great man. He rose Germany up from the ashes.” — Louis Farrakhan

        “Jews ‘ that’s J-E-W-S.” — Democratic state representative Bill McKinney on why his daughter Cynthia lost in 2002

        “Some junior high n*gger kicked Steve’s ass while he was trying to help his brothers out; junior high or sophomore in high school. Whatever it was, Steve had the n*gger down. However it was, it was Steve’s fault. He had the n*gger down, he let him up. The n*gger blindsided him.” — Roger Clinton, the President’s brother on audiotape

        “There’s no great, white bigot; there’s just about 200 million little white bigots out there.” — USA Today columnist Julienne Malveaux

        “Is you their black-haired answer-mammy who be smart? Does they like how you shine their shoes, Condoleezza? Or the way you wash and park the whitey’s cars?” — Song from the show of left-wing radio host Neil Rogers

        “You’d find these potentates from down in Africa, you know, rather than eating each other, they’d just come up and get a good square meal in Geneva.” — Fritz Hollings (D, S.C.)

        “We have lost to the white racist press and to the racist reactionary Jewish misleaders.” — Former Rep. Gus Savage (D-Illinois) after his defeat 1992

        “White folks was in caves while we was building empires… We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.” — Rev. Al Sharpton in a 1994 speech at Kean College, NJ

        “The white race is the cancer of human history.” — Susan Sontag

        “Reparations are a really good way for white people to admit they’re wrong.” — Zack Webb, University Of Kentucky NAACP

        “I love this quote. It’s from Mahatma Gandhi. He ran a gas station down in St. Louis for a couple of years. Mr. Gandhi, do you still go to the gas station? A lot of wisdom comes out of that gas station” – Hillary Clinton, Former Secretary of State

        “You f*cking Jew b@stard.” — Hillary Clinton to political operative Paul Fray. This was revealed in “State of a Union: Inside the Complex Marriage of Bill and Hillary Clinton” and has been verified by Paul Fray and three witnesses.

        “In about 18 months from now, hopefully [state Sen. Vincent Sheheen] will have sent Nikki Haley back to wherever the hell she came from and this country can move forward.” – Former South Carolina Democratic Party Chairman Dick Harpootlian

        ‘Hymies.’ ‘Hymietown.’ — Jesse Jackson’s description of New York City while on the 1984 presidential campaign trail

        “You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking!” – Joe Biden, Vice President

        “[Harry Reid] was wowed by Obama’s oratorical gifts and believed the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as a Obama — a ‘light-skinned’ African American with ‘no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one.’” – Harry Reid, Senate Majority Leader, as quoted in the book Game Change

    • Apostrophe

      Yes, because Fred Phelps is “just like” all of those people you listed.

      Here, I got one for you. Did you know that Jesus Christ wasn’t a Christian?

  14. Slash

    Well, I would have preferred that he died before reproducing. He’s lived a long, full life of dumbfuckery at this point, so … it’s kind of a wash.

  15. I’m want to comment on a few common themes I’ve run across in discussions about Phelps impending demise:

    1: “It’s wrong to take pleasure in the death of another human being”. Well, that’s just bullshit. Fred Phelps has spent decades spreading misery and hatred at every opportunity. He could have dedicated his life to helping others, but instead literally DEVOTED HIS LIFE to hurting people. The world will quite literally be a better place after he’s dead. I find no moral repugnance in looking forward to that day.

    2: “If we do ‘x’ we’re no better than him”. Horseshit. It would take a lot of time and effort to sink to Phelps level. Giving him and his “church” back a bit of their own medicine wouldn’t make anyone at Phelp’s level…not even close. It’s like saying Hitler spanked a baby once, so if you spank a baby you’re no better than Hitler. Fuck that nonsense, I could punch a famous baby in the face and still comfortably sleep at night knowing I’m still a better man than Phelps.

    3: “Think of his family”. Oh EAT A BOWL OF DICKS! His family IS his church and they’re complicit in his disgusting behavior, and they’ll likely carry it on after he’s gone. A pipebomb at his funeral service would be more welcome news than finding out Farrah Abraham and Tila Tequila made a girl/girl anal squirtfest movie.

    So I’m not going to apologize that I woke up this morning and immediately googled to see if Phelps was dead yet with the same excitement I feel checking my Powerball numbers. Hurry up and die you old shit stain.

  16. i sincerely hope the rest of humankind takes the right path here and does not show up at his funeral or burial with hate signs and protests. it is beneath human beings.

    that said- i’d be all for showing up at his deathbed with hate signs and chants of “go to hell” and “just die asshole”. that would be awesome.

  17. Gigos

    So there is a God

    • There is a God because an old man is dying? Hardly.

      If there was a God, he’d never have allowed a scumbag like Phelps to exist in the first place, or he’d have shown Phelps how to “love thy neighbor” instead of how to spread hate.

  18. Fred Phelps has been dead spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, socially, and psychologically for decades. His body is just catching up.

  19. So as much as I think the guy is a total waste of the wonderful nightmare that is existance I hope that if it’s true, he goes out how most of us hope to go. With out pain, surrounded by family and friends or with your face so deep in a 22 year olds cleavage that you are coming out somewhere in Narnia.

    I also hope that if God has half the sense of humor that I hope it does, the first thing he hears as he passes into the hear after is “Do you believe of life after love.”

  20. Whatever this illness is that Phelps is suffering from, I, for one, hope it’s nothing trivial.

  21. Why was he excommunicated? What horrible thing did this piece of shit do that got him excommunicated from his own hate-mongering church?

  22. The guy is an epic P.O.S., to be sure. Why put his name in yet another headline? How does even posting an article celebrating his impending death – which, despite his awfulness, is fucking retarded – exactly marginalize him even further? Because, you know, we need to keep people like him in the collective consciousness?

  23. Dying of what? Someone slowly suffocating him with a hot beef injection?

  24. Jenn

    I wonder if all the hate and venom and negativity he doled out is there waiting for him when he dies. If you get a version of Heaven or Hell based on what you give. If so…MAN, we are all in serious fuckin trouble. Lol. I’ll be put in a special Hell where nobody gets my weird sarcasm. My job prepares me for it.

  25. Even though you’re just the messenger, the voices in my head love you now for telling us this.

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