Fred Phelps Is Dead (1929 – 2014)

March 20th, 2014 // 69 Comments
Fred Phelps

Over the weekend, America rejoiced as it learned Fred Phelps was on his deathbed. And now word has come he’s finally learning he wasted his entire life thinking there’s a Christian Heaven because he’s dead now. He died. As for that business about why he was excommunicated? Turns out he floated the idea that maybe, just maybe, church members should be a tad bit kinder to each other – but not anyone else, fuck those people – which ended in him being ousted by three of his own children and kicked out of the church last August. In fairness, kindness is some faggot-ass shit. I believe Jesus said that during his Sermon on the Pussy Mount because man-anus is gross. (Luke 6:35 WBCV)

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  1. I pity the poor fool.

  2. Man I hope someone breaks into the funeral home and buttfucks the shit out of the corpse.

  3. Hugh G. Rection

    One less worthless piece of shit in the world.

  4. Also he looks EXACTLY like Guy Blank in that picture. Holy shit.

  5. Now if only his remaining crazy offspring still with Westboro Baptist would follow suit, that would be swell.

    I wish I believed in a hell so I could envision him burning there, but I am pretty content with him rotting in ignominy.

  6. “Kindness is some faggot-ass shit.” LOL! Good lord, I needed that laugh.

    The only joy I get from this, is the fact that Mr. Phelps now knows that there’s not a damned thing waiting for him when he dies. Just nothingness.

  7. Colin

    My cousin had my favorite reaction to this:
    “Pioneering gay rights activist and reverse psychology innovator Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church has passed away. We shall remember the literally millions of people his behavior pushed to the right side of history.”

  8. Walter Peck

    I am sure he’ll be raped by a bunch of gay bears in Hell.

  9. Colin

    Also, someone desperately needs to photoshop an ejaculating penis onto this picture.

  10. Cock Dr

    Fred was such small potatoes in the great Hierarchy of Evil Bigotry….is he even worth this posting?
    Maybe now the media will lose interest in a bunch of fringe element fanatics.

  11. Now who will picket the funerals of American servicemen who are lost in the line of duty because homo? Who, I ask you!

  12. well duh.
    fred phelps has always been dead.

  13. here’s to one less skid mark on the toilet bowl of humanity.

    *raises glass*

  14. emma watson's Vagina

    Ding Dong! The fucking fundie is dead. Which old fundie? The Fred phelps fundie!
    Ding Dong! The fucking fundie is dead.
    Wake up – sleepy head, rub your dick, get out of the closet.
    Wake up, the fucking fundie is dead. He’s gone where the fundies go,
    Below – below – below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.
    Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
    Let them know
    The fucking fundie is dead!

  15. I hope his funeral gets picketed by the gayest a capella group possible, singing everything from “it’s raining men” to “I want to break free”. Talk about a fitting farewell!

    • Brian

      I’d love to see signs like “Thank God for dead Westboro members”.

    • But how would replicating his behaviour make anyone better?

    • rican

      Now THAT is something I would pay to see!

    • Randal(l)

      *fingers crossed*

      I’m hoping for a flash mob to break out. Not one of those stupid ones where assholes start dancing, but one where everybody just starts devouring cocks. Like not even in a sexual manner just matter-of-factly just cocks popping into mouths. then right after the first handful of sand gets dropped onto the casket everyone just blows their load into the open grave. then everyone who has residual splooge in the mouths spit it out into the mouths of the rest of the church members. Then (and this is just wishfull thinking here) the mixture of second hand nut butter and the Westboro members somehow opens a portal directly to heaven and Jesus appears from the portal. Then without a word pulls fred phelps body from his grave brings him back to life and promptly ass bangs him until his heart gives out and he dies again.

      I mean with all due respect to the dead of course.


  16. JC

    The original quote was about Ken Lay from Enron, but I think it’s appropriate here: “Stay dead, motherfucker.” – Henry Rollins

  17. Aw, man. I knew it… I just knew it! He’s totally going to steal my seat between Hitler and Vlad the Impaler in Hell now.

  18. Good riddance, you hateful piece of shit.

  19. Cher X

    And I am not shedding a tear.

  20. And just like that, the world is a better place.

  21. BamaGirl

    I just want to say on behalf of the non-crazy Christians, this man in no way represents the real Christian church. I’m a Christian and have been disgusted by the Westboro Church for years. We’re not all crazy like this group has portrayed us.

    • Cher X

      We appreciate that.

      Now can you help us do away with the old white dudes in your religion who insists on regulating woman’s uteruses?

    • Real Christians, eh? Sure seems like every self identified Christian thinks they are the real Christians and those with different ideas are not real Christians. This is a byproduct of making it up as you go along.

    • D-chi

      BamaGirl, I’m with you. PRETTY sure Jesus said to love everybody, not picket their funerals. So sad that this man dedicated his life to hatred. May all learn from his mistakes.

    • I don’t know what bible you read, but last time I read the old testament, those westboro assholes were the ones actually following the demented “rules” that are written in that thing.

      They are actually a perfect representation of god in the old testament. Crazy, hateful sonsofbitches.

      • D-chi probably reads the New Testament section of the Bible, which is where people who profess to be Christians are supposed to find the New and Improved Operating Manual that supercedes all previous instructions.

        If so-called “Christians” insist on blanket adherence to, or cherry-picking from, the OT part, they’d better become more closely acquainted with orthodox Judaism, because Christ was actually pretty heavily invested in defiantly blowing off those parts of the Law that the Westboro assholes and their ilk are clinging to in order to justify their bigoted attitudes.

    • JJonahJamieson

      Sorry, he says the same about you.

  22. Yep. If you’re using religion to exclude and hate instead of to lift people up and be nice, you’re just doing it wrong.

  23. Should we protest his funeral?

  24. I’m pretty sure he’s been dead for years. He looks like a mummy.

  25. Westboro Baptist will have to picket HIS funeral! They did ex-communicate him, so I’m sure as far as they see it, God hates him.
    Ought to be a great spectacle

  26. Dox

    I guess, I’ll have to sit this one out.

    Oh don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone, or like Phelps’s behavior at all. I find nothing redeeming or uplifting in the message he or his church preach, nor can I stomach the idea of protesting a loved one’s funeral and compounding their pain.

    But I also see no point in stooping to the level of Westboro and celebrating his death. He came across as a misguided, angry and hateful individual who seemed to miss the entire message of Christ’s teachings… but I don’t think I want to celebrate his death.

    There is a darkness in that type of behavior. One that is insidious, and weaves its way into your heart. Its the type of darkness and hatred that infects individuals like Phelps, and groups like Westboro. It divides us, sets us at each others throats, and provides for no compromise… no peace between us.

    I look forward to the end of such teachings as found in Westboro. But not like this, and not in this fashion. I feel only sadness, of the wasted potential, of the possibilities his life could have produced had he chose a different path. His legacy, is largely one of hatred. And in this moment, in this way… people only add to it. If that is who we are, and we are to become, then the message of hate has already won.

    • Not at all true. We can celebrate his passing because he did add a lot of hate to the mix. Our celebration is representative of but a small fraction of the misery and discord he brought into the lives of others. Now we can go back to trying to add positives into this world, knowing that one less drain on it is gone. And that, my friend, is worth celebrating.

  27. My heart pumps piss for him.


    Good riddance you worthless, old shrivelled piece of shit. He should be buried in the filthiest septic tank (unpumped). That picture makes him look like the evil Preacher from “Poltergeist II” wearing David Byrne’s “big suit.”

  29. MZ MIZRY

    wow that picture of him- hes stealing kim kardashian’s trademarked “pee please” face.

  30. Hope next in line is thatracist piece of shit sheriff from Maricopa, Arizona

  31. Thought that was Ted Turner for a second.

  32. Schadenfreude

    What he did and said was reprehensible. Nobody should do that for any reason. I won’t say I am glad he is dead, because then I would sink to his level. I hope that all of those people who were hurt because of his actions and words can find peace and healing. (This is way too thoughtful for one of my comments. I guess I should get back to trolling).

  33. Firecrotch McBatshit

    Is is just me, or does anyone else get a Poltergeist II “evil ghost preacher” vibe from this fuck?

  34. cc

    In the words of Christopher Hitchens ‘…it’s a pity there isn’t a hell for him to go to.’

  35. Just think, eternity in hell, on his knees, in the exact position as this picture.

  36. Mr. Fahrenheit

    “Whatever you do, don’t bury me like this.”

  37. Bob

    Oddly enough, when he was a lawyer, he did a lot of good (except for that incident that got him disbarred).

    Ironic since this guy was apparently unable to grasp duality (i.e. that nobody is all bad).

  38. This guy probably did more to help the Gay cause then ever hurt it. In the end the gays never looked better than those assholes.

  39. Rasuptin's Evil Twin

    “I didn’t attend his funeral, but I wrote a very nice letter approving of it” – Mark Twain.

    He’d do the same here.

  40. I wish, he gets gang bang by thousand guys and when he want to scream he won’t be able because a gigantic black cock will be in his mouth.

    1 down, millions of pieces of shit left.

    This made my day :)

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