Showgirls clinches worst movie sex scene award

[cocktailsatthree]

I'm copying this from another site (the Register), but am not really sure of the etiquette. If I'm doing this wrong, please tell me.


It's official: the pool romp scene from Showgirls - featuring Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan going at it like two dolphins caught in a tuna net - is the crappiest movie sex scene of all time.

In awarding the crown to Paul Verhoeven's lamentable waste of celluloid, Empire magazine has at least ensured that it will go down in history for something besides possibly being the worst film ever made.

An Empire spokesman said of the outrage: "It's supposed to be the best sex in the world but, as Berkley thrashes around in the water, it looks more like the first ten minutes of Jaws."

Well said. Sloppy seconds in the list of shame went to Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche for Damage, with Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes humping their way to third in Killing me Softly.

Disappointingly, Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss in Matrix Reloaded only merited ninth spot, although it's good to see veteran rumpy-pumpy merchant Joan Collins honoured at 10 for her 1978 coupling with Oliver Tobias in The Stud.

We'll leave the last word to Empire, which carries this reasoned analysis of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in Gigli: "When Ben's chauvinistic mobster Larry Gigli gets it on with J-Lo's lesbian assassin Ricki, the scene is cold corny and lame. But what really sends it over the top is Ricki's infamous 'It's turkey time, gobble, gobble' as a call to oral foreplay. Unfeasibly bad, the pair, while sexy as hell on their own, together here couldn't generate enough heat to toast bread."
The Top Ten Worst Movie Sex Scenes

1. Showgirls: Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan (1995)
2. Damage: Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche (1992)
3. Killing me Softly: Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes (2002)
4. Body of Evidence: Madonna and Willem Dafoe (1993)
5. Crimes of Passion: Kathleen Turner (1984)
6. The Specialist: Sharon Stone and Sly Stallone (1994)
7. Gigli: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez (2003)
8. 40 Days and 40 Nights: Matt Sullivan and Shannyn Sossamon (2002)
9. Matrix Reloaded: Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss (2003)
10. The Stud: Joan Collins and Oliver Tobias (1978)

[ball1jj]

Wasn't it Josh Hartnett is 40 days and 40 nights? And I thought that scene was decent.

[cocktailsatthree]

I've never seen it I'm afraid. But I just checked the cast list, and you're right - Matt Sullivan isn't listed.

Surely a decent sex scene kind of misses the point. What do they do - keep their clothes on? :wink:

[ball1jj]

No, he's not supposed to touch a woman or have an orgrasm or something for 40 days. Anyway he meets this chick (Sossamon) and gives her one by blowing a rose petal over her body, but never touches her. Her clothes come off, his stay on, that's probably why it's good.

[Ranced]

The flower petal represents his touch!

OMGHOWDEEP

[cocktailsatthree]

To be honest, garden waste never really did it for me. Maybe if I hadn't started with the cabbages...

[Mugato]

I thought the sex scene in Pulp Fiction with Ving Rhames wasn't as hot as it could have been.

[GM_Axis]

I thought the sex scene in Pulp Fiction with Ving Rhames wasn't as hot as it could have been.

Oh god... forgot about that.

[Check Please]

I thought the sex scene in Pulp Fiction with Ving Rhames wasn't as hot as it could have been.

Oh god... forgot about that.

That wasn't even the funniest part. The funniest part is when the Bruce Willis character asks him: "Hey man you alright?"

[MissKiKi]

Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan going at it like two dolphins caught in a tuna net - is the crappiest movie sex scene of all time.



me and my friends laughed soooo hard during that scene... we kept rewinding the VCR and making little dolphin noises... too funny

[RodeoHK]

[quote]Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan going at it like two dolphins caught in a tuna net - is the crappiest movie sex scene of all time.

Ditto! He looked like he was being castrated, not getting laid.

[Anastasia]

[quote]Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan going at it like two dolphins caught in a tuna net - is the crappiest movie sex scene of all time.

Ditto! He looked like he was being castrated, not getting laid.

and she looked like she was having an epileptic fit.

[MissKiKi]

she cried and screamed and made like 500 little running out of the room in tears exit scenes

[Anastasia]

Oh Jeremy Irons got a little too "excited" during the filming of that scene in Damage and Binoche walked off the set.

[floyd]

I was working at a cinema when Showgirls came out. A couple of other staff and myself got shushed by the audience because we were laughing so hard at the pool scene! :lol:

We couldn't stand to be in the cinema when that was on after that - we'd be laughing before that scene started...

I still see some of the other people who worked there then, and whispering 'showgirls' still has us rolling about.




At least we got some pleasuse from the film!

[TheBurnoutKid]

Thank GOODNESS the Gigli scene made it on the list.

Any sex scene that contains the line:
"Gobble-Gobble it's turkey time."

Is NOT sexy.

[Michael]

8. 40 Days and 40 Nights: Matt Sullivan and Shannyn Sossamon (2002)

Aka my hero.

[thebaldwin]

What is sex?

[cocktailsatthree]

Sex- is a Latin numerical prefix meaning 6. Hence:

* Sextet = 6 musicians
* Sexagenarian = 6 decades old
* Sextuplet = 6 children born at the same time to one mother
* Sexdactyly people have 6 fingers instead of the usual 5
* A sextant is a measuring instrument in the shape of 1/6 of a circle
* Sextilis, the sixth month of the early Roman calendar

[thebaldwin]

i see like the German "sechs" meaning 6?

[cocktailsatthree]

*slaps Dr Baldwin*

Pervert. This is a clean thread.

[thebaldwin]

In that case bar, or liquid soap?