FOR THE LADIES: Robert Pattinson or Jesse Metcalfe?

December 4th, 2008 // 220 Comments

Okay, ladies, let’s find out what makes you tick.* Who would you rather: Just crawled out of bed to attend a TV interview Robert Pattinson? Or drunk off his ass Jesse Metcalfe? But here’s the kicker: You haven’t shaved your legs for a couple of days leaving noticeable stubble. Also, your roommate has an early morning and suffers from “episodes.” Discuss.

*Besides shoes, Real World/Road Rules and tricking me into going to the mall on a Saturday. A SATURDAY?! You’re dressing up like Wonder Woman when we get home…

superficial

  1. kelsey!

    PATTINSON 4EVER YALLZ!

    i have taken a vow of celibacy until i A) have my own vampire boyfriend OR B) find a dude that hasn’t washed his hair in 6 weeks.

    this should last for about another 6 hours

  2. Annonyononymouse

    ROB

  3. Jenna

    Rob. For some reason his grungyness makes him even sexier. Not many men can pull that off. However, I wouldn’t be opposed to sex in the shower…

  4. Tori

    Is there a third option?

    Especially since I don’t think either could actually have sex in their current conditions.

  5. Megan

    Robert, he makes me wet like I’m 16 again. Who’s this other guy. Looks like a cross between John Stamos and Richard Greico. NO THANKS.

  6. Kristen

    I wanna show Robert Pattinson what sex with an older woman is like:
    married/period sex unshaved all over. Damn, I’m getting a divorce.

  7. Amanda

    Umm….robhe is fantastic…., and he doesnt look like the kind of person to care if a girls legs have a little stubble seeing as he admits that he doesnt have much sense of personal hygiene himself… he is undoubtedly the sexiest man i have ever laid my eyes upon :)

  8. Amanda

    Umm….rob is fantastic…., and he doesnt look like the kind of person to care if a girls legs have a little stubble seeing as he admits that he doesnt have much sense of personal hygiene himself… he is undoubtedly the sexiest man i have ever laid my eyes upon :)

  9. Heather

    Robert Pattison, hands down.
    There is no way, no way EVER that i would have sex with Miguel Lopez Fitzgerald. That is the greasiest douchiest son of a bitch. What’s with his little soul patch?!
    Robert Pattison is actually good looking, even with his ridiculous hair.

  10. Chantell

    Robert. He is hot.

  11. Lisa

    Pattinson… but I’d prefer his hair be a little tamer than that one pic.

  12. Rob fucking Pattinson – hands down

  13. LL

    Who the fuck is Jesse Metcalfe?

  14. You're fucking dumb.

    #93. I agree! Rob is cute. :)

  15. Kate

    Robert, no question about it.

  16. what the fuck

    Putting this in here to balance it out. PATTINSON IS UGLY.

    I would much rather do Jesse Metcalfe any day, regardless of douchiness.

  17. xtina

    ummmm ROBERT. duh you have to be blind to choose the other dude.

  18. michelle

    either way, this guy is YUCK!

  19. Pixie

    WTF is wrong with Jessie’s face? Does he always hold his eyebrows like that, in a permanent state of douchebaggery?

  20. lala

    ROBERT PATTINSON BY FAR!!!

  21. lolaaa sand

    Jesse Metcalfe looks like a frat boy. So if your eyes like what they see, then you’re into college pong party douches.
    Robert Pattinson ALL the way!

  22. stephanie

    Robert Pattinson so I can tug on that hair of his.

  23. CHILL

    Does Pattinson own a comb , perhaps shampoo? I would do neither and just tell those two crackheads we did after I charged them the next morning.

  24. samm23y

    I agree with # BLAH BLAH BLAH.. ..

    BLAH blAH is much cuter..

    cozz bLAH BLAH BLAH is so damn BLA BLAH BLAH…

    FISH!!!! you are positively 100% nothjn more nothn less a certified Homo!… Son, you probably need a Meat Lollipop..

  25. thisguyisnothot

    I don’t get it…this Pattinson guy is not hot. He’s a total scrode.

  26. jazzi

    def. rob. he’s amazingly hot. he has that just crawled out of bed look which is smokin.

  27. LivewireT

    JESSE definitely. He looks so hot here…

  28. LivewireT

    JESSE definitely. No contest.

  29. “96. Kylie – December 5, 2008 1:04 PM

    I’d let them run a train, but I’m afraid they would end up fucking eachother. So, I’ll go with the neo-goth vampire.”

    I was on the phone with a client and busted out laughing… thanks for getting me fired…

  30. dip

    If i had to pick Id say the vampire guy hes cuter. BUT please post some Christian Bale or Hugh Jackman shirtless next time. Kthxbai

  31. Sandiers

    Since the Jay Leno interview where Pattinson reveals he “gave up washing his hair a while ago” it’s really a toss up. It really depends on how drunk Metcalf is, (he may not be able to get it up) and whether or not he’s been vomiting. Both are pretty sexy when showered and sober.

  32. ???????

    I’d fuck all you bitches. Give me a call.

  33. Keri

    Robby far. I love his hair. He also has a really hot smile.

  34. Keri

    Rob by far. I love his hair. He also has a really hot smile.

  35. ROB! he looks stoned but still way hotter than Jesse.

  36. Brooke

    definitely rob. :)

    jesse is sort of feminine looking if you ask me.

  37. Jenny

    Totally Robert!

  38. Brooke

    definitely rob. :)

    jesse is sort of feminine looking if you ask me.

  39. Jackie

    Rob Pattinson — no contest. Although I really do think he should stop telling people he doesn’t wash his hair.

  40. amanda

    ” i’m going with the independent Hugh Jackman party.
    Metcalf is too douchy and Pattinson is too damn skinny.
    Plus i’m a geek and wolverine trumps douchbags and teenage vampires any day.”

    can hugh wear a wolverine costume? not the shit black one from the movies, either the brown + yellow one or the blue + yellow one? cuz i must say, hes no gambit but i am a sucker for marvels men!

    if it was bang one of these 2 or the world ends id pick jesse, he looks like he could/would throw me around while the little vamp dude looks like he would cry after…

  41. I wonder...

    My little sister has gone Pattinson fangirl, so I have watched some of his interviews. He seems genuinely freaked out by all the screaming girls. I wonder if he is purposely avoiding hygiene and saying that he doesn’t wash his hair in a misguided effort to gross out at least some of his obsessive fanbase.

  42. Mary Dawn

    definitely robert pattinson since jesse metcalfe has man boobs and is gay

  43. britney's weave

    what the hell, fish? where’s the post giving guys the option of amy winehouse or chyna doll? huh??? it’s only fair.

  44. Ava

    Thank you fish MAN, for putting up some sexy pics just for us ladies. Much appreciated! All those who say you are homosexual are jealous and angry lost little boys.
    Oh i’d choose both by the way, A threesome with these two heavenly forms of man would be perfect.
    LOVE YA!

  45. melanie

    definitely jesse…definintely

  46. Both gross. Please give us more pictures of REAL men. i. e. Hugh Jackman

  47. heyy

    Robert, no contest.

  48. Ummmmm, lets face it Jesse Metcalfe is a turd…gotta go with Robert!

  49. Tess

    If you’ve seen the movie Twilight, you’d understand Rob Pattison’s appeal. He’s also a talented musician who wrote/sang/performed a song on the soundtrack.

    And let’s remember that he’s only 22 year old – love you Rob!

  50. Tawny

    #143 is right. WTF kind of options are these? And how drunk am I? I’d need to be really drunk or I might remember in the morning and I’d r e a l l y hate that.

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