FOR THE LADIES: Robert Pattinson or Jesse Metcalfe?

December 4th, 2008 // 220 Comments

Okay, ladies, let’s find out what makes you tick.* Who would you rather: Just crawled out of bed to attend a TV interview Robert Pattinson? Or drunk off his ass Jesse Metcalfe? But here’s the kicker: You haven’t shaved your legs for a couple of days leaving noticeable stubble. Also, your roommate has an early morning and suffers from “episodes.” Discuss.

*Besides shoes, Real World/Road Rules and tricking me into going to the mall on a Saturday. A SATURDAY?! You’re dressing up like Wonder Woman when we get home…

superficial

  1. JRZ

    I wish these two would get their heads clobbered together…..really hard.

  2. sarah

    both!! theyre both hot, obviously. but probably jesse metcalf. especially right now, im sure rpat would be mad annoying and full of himself. and he always looks like hes trying to seem “brooding” or his idea of what “brooding” looks like… he should try being surlier. thatd be hotter. surly is hot. jsut look at russell crowe, hes not even hot at all yet somehow people think hes hot, its all in the surly.
    this other guy jesse metcalf looks like hed be up for some shitty conversation quickly followed by an awesome lay. i pick him!!!

  3. Shae

    Mmmmm….Rob w/out a doubt!! H-O-T!

  4. mmmm....

    PATTINSON. def pattinson. i’d take him over ANYONE (the only one who could even stand to challenge him would be jonathan rhys meyers….but i still think pattinson would win). he is so freaking hot. the perfect man.

  5. lucci

    one more morrissey wannabe…

  6. mmmuah

    I’m not really attracted to either of them, right off… I’d choose Robert though, because he’s cute and british. Jesse is just obnoxious.

  7. mmmuah

    I’m not really attracted to either of them, right off… I’d choose Robert though, because he’s cute and british. Jesse is just obnoxious.

  8. m.munroe

    jesse metcalf! any day – any way!

  9. Lucy

    neither…I’ll take Josh Holloway any day!!!

  10. Sabrina

    JESSIE METCALF!!!! Regardless if hes a drunk-he is sexxxxxxxy!

  11. p0nk

    Masengil or Summer’s Eve?

  12. IND

    # 52 : “this other guy jesse metcalf looks like hed be up for some shitty conversation quickly followed by an awesome lay. i pick him!!!”

    Hahaha! Agreed!

    But I think I agree with 59, Josh Holloway totally beats both of them!

  13. Zsa

    Robert Pattinson!!!!! I love him

  14. James

    as another gay i’m going with the independent Hugh Jackman party.
    Metcalf is too douchy and Pattinson is too damn skinny.
    Plus i’m a geek and wolverine trumps douchbags and teenage vampires any day.

  15. heidi

    They both need to go take a shower. Yuck! I prefer my men to not have to be flee dipped.

  16. Pixie

    Robert Pattison. Are Jessie’s eyebrows premanantly frozen in that position? It looks like this —> ^.~

  17. nora

    Jesse, DEFINITELY. Hot as HELL. Look at those eyebrows on Robert – ew. He has a weird face and a weirder vibe.

  18. Morgan

    Rob. So, so, so hot.

  19. Me 2

    I really really really think that RP is not even a little bit attractive. He looks like a dirty werewolf. I’ll take JM any day. Anyway, drunk sex is more fun.

  20. misslynn

    Rob, easily. Like whoa.

  21. misslynn

    Rob, easily. Like whoa.

  22. zizzy

    Pattinson. I like that “haven’t washed my hair in a few days” look.

  23. hot asian girl with big tits

    Rob, because he has a hot British accent and he looks like he would let me dominate him in more ways than one.

  24. stnin

    Just rolled out of bed? No shower=unclean genitalia, that’s what I’m thinking anyways… Metcalfe might be a vain asshole, but that probably means there’s a better chance of him having cleaned himself up before boozing it up.

    Also, he kind of looks like Elvis with that drunk facial expression. Elvis with a french tickler. Mmm…saucy!

    The meat calf over the pat, I say!

  25. Flower

    Why do you even ask Superficial writer… you know the answer.

  26. Flower

    Why do you even ask Superficial writer… you know the answer.

  27. ally

    ROBERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 100% for sure hands down.
    In fact, I’d probably answer Robert if you asked me “who in the entire world would you choose?” He’s so fuckin hot ;)

  28. melissa

    Robert FTW. 110%. <3333

  29. melissa

    Robert FTW. 110%. <3333

  30. YoMOmmA

    RobPAt by far, id take him on his worst morning before id take JesseM on his best day!! hes douchetastic…

  31. Morgan

    hmmm….

    Pattinson.

    My stubble feels like goose down on a spring day and a roomie with Turret’s (or whatever) just makes me look more appealing.

  32. Jesse Metcalfe = [the love child of] John Stamos + Carson Daly+Jose Cuervo

  33. Jesse Metcalfe = [the love child of] John Stamos + Carson Daly+Jose Cuervo

  34. o!valencia

    Robert Pattinson over Jesse Metcalfe any day of the week. And my roommate does have episodes.

  35. Nova

    Pattinson looks mentally disabled, or cleft pallet. The other guy looks like trash. Kudos to modern day characters(miley cyrus,jonas brothers,bratz dolls,musicians that sound like shit and have exactly that to say) for turning the minds of our young people into bubble gum mush. And fuck all the parents who let their kids get caught up in this garbage. Thanks writer for making the choices a rock and a hard place.

  36. crackbaby

    Robert is straight up fugly. Girls only find him attractive because they like the character fromthe Twilight books. If a guy looking exactly like him hit one the same girls at the mall he’d get shot down every time. Jesse is good looking, but an untalented drunk

  37. Dana

    Metcalfe.

  38. charlotte

    threesome anyone?

  39. Lola

    Don’t you mean “For the booty-hole loving men?”

    Neither will be chosen cuz they’re both ugly and incredibly gay and dirty looking

  40. charlotte

    threesome anyone?

  41. Valkyrie

    Metcalfe AS LONG AS HE DIDNT TALK.

    Seriously Pattinson looks like a Baldwin cousin that always has moist hands.

    NICE ONE FISH!! AT LEAST YOURE TRYING. maybe.

  42. Kahlee

    @33 agreed, I’ll take the superficial writer AND I’ll dress as wonder woman :D These two aren’t attractive to me.

  43. Christina

    Rob Pattinson, definitely! Those cheekbones, that jawline, his intense eyes and his accent totally break me. He can get away with looking a bit dirty and disheveled because he’s so handsome!

  44. matt

    @64

    Well duh, Hugh Jackman wins every time. But when given the improbable set of circumstances that gives you simply Rob or Jesse to mate from (perhaps a post apocalyptic hell hole where its just you and these two), drunken Jesse is the lesser of two evils…

  45. Anja

    PATTINSOOOON fo’ sho’

    He’s hot besides his lack of a haircut ;)

  46. Kylie

    I’d let them run a train, but I’m afraid they would end up fucking eachother. So, I’ll go with the neo-goth vampire.

  47. Dee

    What a hard choice….I’ve always wanted to do both! I’m going to have to go with Rob because he’s probably aching for it!

  48. Ally

    Robert Pattison, I mean who doesnt love that stoner boy

  49. Val

    Hey hey HEY. There’s no comparisson here. At least Robert has work and it’s not his fault he looks like he’s stoned that’s just his face. Jesse is always drunk and unemployed. Not a fair battle superfish!

  50. Some Girlw

    EW… Robert Pattinson is always so sweaty and greasy, and what a horrible actor! And who is Jesse Metcalf? Is he friends with Spencer?

Leave A Comment