FOR THE LADIES: Robert Pattinson or Jesse Metcalfe?

December 4th, 2008 // 220 Comments

Okay, ladies, let’s find out what makes you tick.* Who would you rather: Just crawled out of bed to attend a TV interview Robert Pattinson? Or drunk off his ass Jesse Metcalfe? But here’s the kicker: You haven’t shaved your legs for a couple of days leaving noticeable stubble. Also, your roommate has an early morning and suffers from “episodes.” Discuss.

*Besides shoes, Real World/Road Rules and tricking me into going to the mall on a Saturday. A SATURDAY?! You’re dressing up like Wonder Woman when we get home…

superficial

  1. jofamang

    First… and Gay

  2. Fluffy Butt

    They both look like shit.

    . like, EWWW
    . do they gotta comb those eyebrows

  3. Fluffy Butt

    They both look like shit.

    . like, EWWW
    . do they gotta comb those eyebrows

  4. Lala

    Uh Robert. his hair is wonnnderffuulllll

  5. Jenny

    Is it just me, or does Pattinson look like he is always hepped up on drugs?

  6. victoria

    rob of course!

  7. Smile

    That’s the dumbest question you’ve ever asked…

  8. JH2

    Rob by miles.

  9. havoc

    Geigh.

    .

  10. Angelina

    Jesse Metcalfe but only because I loved the Lopez boys on Passions.

  11. Vicki

    Without a doubt, Rob! Though I do feel sorry for the guy…instant fame, crazy fans, I am sure he misses normality.

  12. Kat

    Metcalfe, he’d be too drunk to notice the stubble. On the otherhand, he’d also be too drunk to copulate well. The tie breaker: did Pattinson brush his teeth that morning?

  13. Kat

    Metcalfe, he’d be too drunk to notice the stubble. On the otherhand, he’d also be too drunk to copulate well. The tie breaker: did Pattinson brush his teeth that morning?

  14. Kat

    Metcalfe, he’d be too drunk to notice the stubble. On the otherhand, he’d also be too drunk to copulate well. The tie breaker: did Pattinson brush his teeth that morning?

  15. Cameran

    ROB!!! B/c we’d be so high he wouldn’t even notice the stubble ;)

    Plus, he’s hot as hell!

  16. Natalia

    Hmm….upon careful consideration I’ve decided that I would definately do them both. I’d probably do Jesse first, he looks like he’s got the type of body that could easily throw me around the room. Rob looks a little smaller and has the kind of face that makes me believe he’ll cry afterwards.
    Thanks for the post about hot guys, maybe next time you could make them topless, eh?

  17. Dee

    Rob, because he is smokin’ hot.

  18. Minerva

    Ew, none…

  19. Sephystal

    Aren’t these boys like teen idols?? not my thing, so NEITHER! How about Adrian Grenier?!?!? I want to have his babies.

  20. amy

    what a couple of losers-lol

    Save big with online shopping! get free promo codes to the top brand names-click on my name

  21. maeby

    a shotgun

  22. Speirto

    What…am I on the teen beat website???

    You can make up for this silliness by posting some Hugh Jackman,,,THAT”S a MAN.

  23. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"”" W e a l t h y d a t e r . c o m”"”"”"” last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  24. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"”" W e a l t h y d a t e r . c o m”"”"”"” last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  25. Douchie, I doubt all three of you would fit into one stall, unless it was one of the extra wide handicapped ones. Of course you are the expert on those dimensions. All I can say is good luck!

  26. kdx

    this is gay………………………as hell.

  27. Richard McBeef

    Gay and Gayer.

    Oh and Twilight sucks it. Preteen tiger beat bullshit. It’s sad that Americans are so blessed dumb that adults don’t have the reading skills to read books beyond a 6th grade level. First Harry Potter now this bullshit.

  28. cow

    what, no acid-to-the-face option…?

    listen to speirto. i vote jackman!

  29. I have a wide stance.

  30. tasha_dls

    rpatz….100000000%

  31. tasha_dls

    rpatz….100000000%

  32. Richard McBeef

    I am not sure which one is which, but the dude in the first pics wears lipstick.

  33. i don't want to marry you, just do me

    i choose none, as I’d prefer The SF Writer, duh.

  34. Not being a fan of either, I’m standing by my principles: Drunk wins every time. I’d get out of bed to see anyone drunk on television, though. Especially douche-y twentysomethings who are full of themselves at the end of their careers and don’t know it yet. Good times.

  35. erin

    robert, although i’d have to fight off a million screaming tweens to get to him. so maybe i’ll pass, but i do like that brooding look of his.

  36. I’d introduce both of them to my episodic roommate.

  37. Alliebaba

    Well I would take RP because while he may stink a little, he does not come off like a puffy chested retarded rooster. Yes they both have eyebrows that a fly could get tangled in and lost forever, but RPat just seems a little more grounded and simple. By simple I mean that he would work it harder in bed and not be taking time out to check out his pecks in his mirror ceiling.

  38. Alliebaba

    Well I would take RP because while he may stink a little, he does not come off like a puffy chested retarded rooster. Yes they both have eyebrows that a fly could get tangled in and lost forever, but RPat just seems a little more grounded and simple. By simple I mean that he would work it harder in bed and not be taking time out to check out his pecks in his mirror ceiling.

  39. Kelly

    OMG Jesse. I’ve wanted him since I watched Passions when I was 13. mmmmmmmmmmmm. Plus something about Twilight boy’s face weirds me out.

  40. Metcalfe is cuter, but…
    Pattinson has the whole “James Dean” feel to him

    and they are both a bit too “pretty” to be men…

  41. amy

    Robert Pattinson, hands down. i dont know who jesse metcalfe is, but he looks like a pretty boy, i.e. douchy.

  42. Cassie

    Neither! Charlie from Always Sunny. Now that’s a just rolled out of bed look I can get behind.

  43. kitkat

    Rob – fo sho!

  44. mamamiasweetpeaches

    WHO or WHO????
    I am a 37 year old Dirty Old Lady and I usually loves me the young boys but in this case I must say – One Johnny Depp please! He’s twice their age and ten times as hot!
    Back to the kennel, Pups!

  45. Jesse Metcalfe, definitely. After this whole Twilight fiasco, I’d like for Pattison to go away forever.

  46. missywissy

    @ 5 – I agree.

    Neither one is hot. They don’t look healthy. Give me a healthy guy over a scrawny, greasy drugged up guy any day!

  47. matt

    Grr, these gay comments are so….ignorant. Anyways, as a GAY (oooh ahhh), I’d totally do Jesse Metcalfe. YUM. He looks so hotter drunk, he should always look that way! Plus he gets bonus points for facial hair and chest hair, and Robert is just….yuck, I’m not a pedophile, so I’m not into prepubescent heroin addicts…

  48. meg

    Pattinson looks like one creepy motherfucker. No thanks. Metcalfe isn’t much better but at least he looks cutely bemused by everything.

  49. Jessie

    Rob hands down… any day any conditions! as long as he’s into it ;)

  50. cori

    as much as i’m attracted to a drunken jesse metcalfe (i’m a sucker for attractive drunks), i’m going to have to go with just rolled out of bed robert pattison (i think it’s the words robert pattison and bed used so close together in the same sentence that did it).
    i don’t want to like him…but i can’t help it. it’s hard not to like sexy.

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