For The Love of God, Say, ‘Yes’

September 22nd, 2010 // 36 Comments

I’m not even going to bother speculating on the constantly changing possibility Lindsay Lohan might go back to jail because let’s be realistic. She won’t serve more than five minutes, four of which will involve ice cream. I will, however, encourage her to pursue a career in balloon fetish films because these people are offering real money in the face of all logic and reason informing Hollywood to never do that again. TMZ reports:

A rep for Clips4Sale.com tells TMZ they sent the offer to Lindsay’s lawyer — if LiLo comes in and pops a few balloons — on camera of course — she’ll leave $50,000 richer. No nudity. No whips. No chains.
Confused? TMZ spoke to several balloon-popping enthusiasts who tell us the rush comes from “the feeling of fear associated with a balloon that may pop at any second.”

If she actually does this, I will literally give every single member of my family a copy for Christmas. And not just because I can write it off as a business expense. I am not cheap, Uncle Frank!

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Taz

    She looks like trash here

  2. B K

    Balloon popping fetish? Who knew?

  3. Hugh Gentry

    I would like to release the contents of my flesh balloon in her eye.

  4. imagen

    This is what has come of her “career”. She should just give up now. Oh wait…

  5. Chico

    I don’t know why but I would love to bang her. I bet she would slurp the cum off my dick.

  6. i’d L cum all over her freckles..i shoot far so im sure she’ll blink

  7. TheDuuuuuude

    She looks blissfully happy… She must be coming back from some Samantha time….

  8. maka

    uncle frank?

    was that a home alone reference?

    cause if it was… props

  9. Kevin

    She looks good—-now I want to bang her even more…

  10. Not only is this site sometimes amusing but I learn things too.
    “Balloon fetish”. 50K for a junkie starlet to pop some balloons on camera. There must be a lot of perverts with money to burn out there.

  11. anonymous

    you know she’ll find a way to fuck up a job where all you do is pop balloons.

  12. girl who likes it in da butt

    im a phone sex worker, i have three of these clients. they are a lot of fun. she should do this. it would be so arthouse.

    • Cock Dr

      For realz?
      Do your clients actually orgasm from this audio stimulation? Do you tease them with a little balloon squeaking foreplay first? Any insight into WHY WHY WHY balloon action gets them off?
      This is crazy but harmless stuff and I want to know more.

  13. girl who likes it in da butt

    well, i don’t want to hijack the post but basically all these very niche fetishes are well-tied in with phone sex for obvious reasons, there are few alternate outlets. i keep balloons in my office/lounge with pins and combine tease, vocal seduction, a storyline, and popping. they commonly cum after 5-10 pops. fetishes can be explained easily, men get programmed early. one client says he was a teen at a birthday party and a bunch of girls started popping balloons around him for fun. he was already nervous and aroused by a bunch of fellow teen girls, the balloons simply got cemented into his memory because he had gone home and masturbated that night.

    if you offer an email i can tell you more… or to anyone curious about my line of work. i love the superficial, it a nice distraction between waiting for calls. i think mel gibson SOOOOOOOO needs to call a phone sex line and have his pack of niggers rape fantasy. i could take care of him.

    • Cock Dr

      Thank U for your very necessary service to society. People obviously need those outlets or else they will….pop!
      Hope you get that Gibson client, just don’t meet up with him for lunch.

  14. herbiefrog

    hey sweetheart… you’re not supposed to let them know where you read : ))

  15. all i can say is good job Fish,Uncle Frank or whatever you call yourself. you showed LiLo in something sexy.

    Never really heard of a balloon fetish before . but i do remember Dian Parkinson( a 70′s -90′s hostess on the Price is Right) popping a few balloons in a Playboy Celebrity Centerfold video. I know Dian was naked behind on giant one.

    Wonder if they pop balloons naked in these videos.

    anyhow i would love to pop my balloon in her.

  16. caligrrl

    She totally has Bette Davis lips here. Nasty. She needs to stop with the Botox shit. Oh and that’s a sweatshirt sweetie. A shirt, not a dress. Looks like crap.

  17. Shagger

    I’d like to lift that sweater dress over her head, pull those leggings down just enough to get in, and bend that bitch over a table.

  18. Shithead

    I want her and Rachel Steele to suck my wiener and eat my jizz.

  19. Lindsay Lohan Offered Balloon Fetish Role
    herbiefrog
    Commented on this photo:

    …and dominos could deliver it : )))

    shhh

  20. Burt

    I could see her become the next Betty Page, not that it’s a direction she should take her career to.

  21. Lindsay Lohan Offered Balloon Fetish Role
    maudina
    Commented on this photo:

    oh god, she forgot her pants again!

  22. what is this the celeb version of anything for money? why not do a furry sex tape next. there’s a market there too. have some fucking dignity linds

  23. Slab

    She looks like snot

  24. Lindsay Lohan Offered Balloon Fetish Role
    MeLikey
    Commented on this photo:

    My gay brother would like her outfit.

  25. Lindsay Lohan Offered Balloon Fetish Role
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she’s going red again. And cutting down on the tanning.

  26. Smacktastic

    Can anyone say “slippery slope”? First, she pops a few ballons, next she’s hauling on cock in dark alleys for nickels.

  27. captain america

    this is a very VERY tricky american.
    GOD MUST HATE HER IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

  28. Lovemypubichairthick

    I love her with that red hair, I just think about that bush looking the same.

  29. REd

    Back to the red hair I see

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