First Look: Chris Evans as Captain America. Now With More Helmet.

You guys wanted more bulge. I got you more bulge.

There have been various images of Chris Evans as Captain America on this net that so intertwines us. First, we had a burrito-stuffed stunt double, so that didn’t really count. Then, Captain America: Old Navy Capris edition because you know who doesn’t watch enough superhero movies? Your mom. After that, the entire suit sans helmet because every good drug dealer knows, little kids are nature’s mules you give the first taste for free. And now finally, Entertainment Weekly has graced us with the whole enchilada above which looks.. okay? I don’t even know. It’s hard for me to get it up for a movie by the director of The Wolfman and Jurassic Park 3 when you’ve got Ed Brubaker delivering a solid Cap month-after-month. Unfortunately, five people know what the hell I even said back there – Four of which are Harry Knowles. – so here’s a topical joke about my penis: It fights Nazis, and not the way Jesse James was doing it. That’s more of a “special hug.”

Photos: Jay Maidment/Marvel Studios, Getty, INFdaily, Splash News