Finally. Corey Feldman speaks.

March 10th, 2010 // 73 Comments

Like the setting of the sun, when one Corey dies another must make a statement. On his emo blog:

I was awakened at 8:30 this morning by my brother and sister knocking on my bedroom door. They informed me of the loss of my brother Corey Haim. My eyes weren’t even open all the way when the tears started streaming down my face. I am so sorry for Corey, his mother Judy, his family, my family, all of our fans, and of course my son who I will have to find a way to explain this to when he gets home from school. This is a tragic loss of a wonderful,beautiful,tormented soul, who will always be my brother,family, and best friend. We must all take this as a lesson in how we treat the people we share this world with while they are still here to make a difference. Please respect our families as we struggle and grieve through this difficult time. I hope the art Corey has left behind will be remembered as the passion of that for which he truly lived. ~ Corey

So basically Corey Haim’s death is a pain in the voice of Donatello’s ass because he has to explain it to his son. Got it. On that note, if I had a kid and was friends with Corey Haim, I probably would’ve been laying the groundwork for this a long time ago. “Okay, son, Uncle Corey’s going to play video games with us for a little while. But see how he’s twitching? Don’t get attached.”


  1. Irene Barcelo

    Clearly – we must respect Mr. Feldman. They were both child actor that grew up together and I for one appreciate his warm thoughts towards his friend.

  2. Ben

    I usually enjoy the humor here, but that’s a pretty heartless and disgraceful commentary, Superficial Writer. You should be ashamed.

  3. nick

    Whats up with that gay piece of hair in his face?

  4. Richard McBeef

    why are his bro and sis knocking on his bedroom door? does he live with the ‘rents?

  5. stephanie

    Sorry guys! I found that last statement a tad bit funny.

  6. Kathryn

    Superficial Writer- I’ve been reading this site since its inception… and you are actually being an ass on this one. Yes, you are funny- But in dealing with the reporting of a death it’s misplaced. Yes, it’s a “superficial” site, I know.

    But all I’m asking is that when you *first* post it, try some decorum. All other posts following, may the hilarity ensue.

    Other than that, thanks for the great posts.

  7. Here come the same people to bitch like they did when that Andrew guy killed himself…

  8. Neil

    Superficial stopped beiing funny some time ago, I think the writer changed or something, and since then it’s simply terrible. I could care less for some american teen actors but the writing on here in general sucks.

  9. Jay

    That was hilarious!! I know it’s too soon, but The Superficial writer is just too funny and witty to not laugh!!

  10. heathie

    @ #3 – I was just gonna post that! WTF is up with that hair? It must have taken many months to grow and you’d think somewhere along the way you’d question that “do”
    & Fish, don’t listen to these guys, they are just jealous bitches.

  11. Irene Barcelo

    Kathryn – I agree with you one hundred percent!

  12. Mr. T

    been reading all of the stories about Cory Haim on this site today…I am usually down for a good laugh and am not a fan of either Cory at all….but damn dude you are being way harsh….they don’t even have imbalming fluid in him yet and you have done everything but call his Mom and tell her “ha ha your son is dead!”
    just sayin…..

  13. Ozzie

    I agree with #6 … Superficial is being an ass on this one.

  14. Ben Rapistberger

    First of all, I didn’t touch those women. Second, I agree with everybody. The Superficial writer is being harsh, and it’s hilarious.

  15. Captain_Insano

    WTF? Haim is fair game. The idiot turned down the help that was offered around him. Its his own fault he’s dead and no one elses. Its not a tragedy, it was a certainty that this would eventually happen. Fuck him. Drug addicts are fucking losers, and he died a losers death. Good riddance.

  16. Anexio

    Kathryn can go blow a cod….

    But seriously, he’s still asleep at 8:30 in the morning and his son is already off to school?

    Sounds like a great dad.


    I love you Fishstick!

  17. DarkSock's ManGravy

    I am homicidally outraged!! I could kill an unarmed she-goat right now I am so furious. Corey was such an important piece of the entertainment fabric that weaves us all together. Why can’t these people see through all the lies and whispery mudhorn belches from his detractors??

    When will they get it??

    Also, I peed in a horse once.

  18. OPS

    Who is this hooker he is with? Can I get the digits?

  19. bribios


    Every time some celebrity dies (especially if it’s in an unnecessary way) the Superficial writer ALWAYS tears into them and we ALWAYS get the comments that he’s “gone too far” and “needs to show respect”. You wanna show respect? Throw a rose off the edge of a cliff and have a silent moment, or whatever the hell normal people do when they grieve.

    I’m fine with people wanting to respect the dead, but you need to learn how to recognize trends. IT JUST AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN HERE. If that pisses you off, go watch Access Hollywood.

  20. Woop

    @8 this!!!!

  21. I shouldn’t have laughed at that last part, but I did.

    Everyone whining about the writers being insensitive….shut the fuck up.
    People die every day. Some of them have actually done something with their lives other than make a bunch of money and then kill themselves with it. I’m sure you’ve all made an insensitive joke about someone that’s passed. Get off your soapboxes. It’s not like his mother is reading this, contemplating eating her pistol because some idiots on the internet are being insensitive. Yeah, I feel sorry for his family. But c’mon, would any of you give a fuck that some junkie died if he wasn’t famous? No one would have batted an eyelash about that joke if it was some crackhead from Compton. Give me a break.

  22. Sport

    Nice reverse Rat Tail. Fag.

  23. April

    Yeah, it’s harsh, but that’s what he does.

    However, having a kid myself I can understand how hard it would be for Feldman to explain it to his kid. That’s gotta be the worst. I thought it was more harsh to bag on Feldman’s comments than on Haim’s death. I thought Feldman’s response was well said and heart felt.

  24. Alex

    But Krys we arent talking about some street junkie, we’re talking about the actor that played Lucas. And if you didnt read your own post, you’re the one on a soapbox. Just a different soapbox.

    The writer obviously upset his audience. His depraved, obnoxious audience. When you’ve upset this group of douchebags, you know he must have crossed a line. What line? The line of class. That’s the word I would use for this post, not shocking, not funny, certainly not clever, just classless.

    Well good for you Superficial, you know you’ve got the right of free speech so, “fuck em if they cant take a joke,” right? Why not post up some swastika’s and beheading vids while you’re at it?…those are protected speech too.

    And bribios, just because it happens over and over doesn’t add any kind of legitimacy to a crude and hurtful action.

    And here’s a little of my own protected speech, “Dear Superficial writer, you’re a fucking asshole.”


    This site used to be really funny, one of my favorites actually, but lately something has changed. I don’t know if there is a new writer for this site or not, but dude you’ve either lost your writing ability or you just plain suck cock at your job. I know I’m not the only one who’s noticed this, the comments section has about 1/3 of the usual amount of comments that it used to back in the day, which leads me to say YOU AINT FUNNY MOTHERFUCKER!!!

  26. I think this came out better than Kirk Cameron’s hustle.

  27. (Corey Feldman’s statement came out better than K.C.’s hustle.)

    I figure that tail is a leftover from the other hairstyle.

  28. ELLE


  29. lololololol

    i can’t wait for the person who writes this blog to die so we can all make fun of him

  30. susan

    When i heared my heart broke Corey Haim, 38, Found Dead:Former teen star Corey Haim was found dead early Wednesday, police in Los Angeles confirmed. Mr. Haim was pronounced dead at 2:15

  31. solitarymae

    Harsh, but if you didn’t want to read it, you would not be here…

  32. @24
    My point is, who cares if Corey was a celebrity? He was still a drug addict, and no one would be upset if it were some random drug addict. Why are the writer’s comments offensive just because they’re directed towards a celebrity? No one would think they were “tastetless” or “classless” otherwise.
    You may still not find them funny, but I’d doubt you’d be offended.
    It’s sad that he died, but I’m not going to cry anymore for him than I am for any other dead drug addict I’ve never met.
    Why are you looking for class and taste on a gossip blog titled “TheSuperficial” anyway?
    The writers and commenters here pick apart, and viscously make fun of, the bodies, relationships and drug issues of celebrities here on a daily basis, but when someone OD’s and a joke is made, that’s where the line is crossed?
    Death isn’t funny, but all that other petty stuff is fair game?

  33. btw…

    To those who swore they’d never be back after the Boner joke …

    I SEE YOU!!!!!



  34. I know who Rough'ed you last summer!

    So this is whats going to happen when ever celebs died of totally avoidable deaths, you have a bunch of fake cry babies going: whaaaaa FIsh is being too harsh!!!

  35. swizzle

    @coreyfeldman’s hair – wtf?

  36. Dank

    Dude Fish, you are a gigantic asshole when someone dies. Hell, fuck that, you’re just an asshole all the time. Have some fucking respect douchebag.

  37. I fucked your mother

    ” I hope the art Corey has left behind will be remembered as the passion of that for which he truly lived”

    Like that scene in Blown Away when he ripped off Nicole Eggert’s panties and ate her out? Yeah that was pretty damn artistic i must say. I don’t know how this world can survice without that artistic talent. WTG Corey, you ate that pussy proper!

  38. it’s important the we know what corey feldman thinks lol

  39. mateo

    Don’t diss the Feld Man. He killed JASON, dude.

  40. You know what this means…. the world is finally safe from the threat of License to Drive 2.

  41. amanda

    you clearly have IMDB available to you and yet NOBODY has pointed out that COREY FELDMAN IS NOT THE VOICE OF DONATELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. Nemo

    Apparently, Amanda is retarded and can’t follow her own advice.

    You see, child, there have been many incarnations of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles over the years. Including the first live-action movie in 1990. Featuring Corey Feldman as the voice of Donatello. Which is clearly stated on IMDb (it’s #59 on his filmography) and Wikipedia (the first sentence under “1990′s”:
    So eat it, you stupid bitch.

    Also, I loved me some Lost Boys. But, you know what? Who the hell cares if the Superficial makes fun of Haim for being dead? If two days ago he made fun of the dude for being a washed-up drug-addicted loser, you’d have laughed like a bunch of goddamn mongoloid monkeys, but today it’s not allowed? Eff that noise. Bunch of whining hypocrites.

  43. This is the only gossip/celeb kinda website that I read, but the person who writes this stuff is so over-the-top hateful of literally everyone that it’s sort of not as much fun to read the site as it used to be.

    I’m saying that to be helpful…

  44. Apparently, Amanda is retarded and can’t follow her own advice.

  45. Dread not

    Has there been any word if Lindsay Lohan tis trying to sue Haim post mortem for making fun of the way she is GOING to die?

  46. Melrose

    The Coreys (yes, both of them – they were a package deal) were my first celebrity crush. I looooooved them. I tore every picture of them out of Teen Bop magazine and hung it directly on my wall. I framed one and put it on my dresser. Yes, they are/were both ridiculous people but they were a big part of pop culture when I was a pre-teen. I’m sad that Haim has died and Feldman has a wife gay reverse rat-tail. Both tragedies should be recognized with at least one solemn reverential post before tearing into them. However, this news is really only worthy of one post, so the heartless ridicule is appropriate in this case…

  47. Moron Spotter

    1st of all, a lot of these comments reaffirm my general hatred for humanity. Secondly, why do people always say “if some random drug addict died no one would care”? I for one happen to feel bad when anyone but criminals who cause harm to others pass away. You see, I have this seemingly amazing thing called compassion. Celebrity or not, life is a fragile, fleeting thing. When someone goes early it is always tragic, no matter the circumstances.

    For you scumbags and dregs of humanity to come on to message boards where you can say things without suffering the proper punch in the face retaliation is laughable. I am sure when you pass there will be plenty of people poking fun as there always are, especially when you seem to contribute so little to life.

    As for the writer of this site. Sometimes you are funny, sometimes you are way off point, tacky and fairly ignorant. This is one of those times. At least allow people to mourn his death, especially his best friend who is deservedly upset.

  48. kendall

    Wait!, Feldman lives with his brother/sister/parents(?) & his kid is taken to school by ?? while he sleeps in… Yup, this idiot’s got his act together.

  49. Melrose

    ^ That was supposed to say “a HOOKER wife AND a gay reverse rat-tail”

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