It’s The ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Trailer Because I Know Nothing of Women

There are two things I’ve never figured out about this site: How it’s even published, and why women read it. (Besides the Tom Hardy penis photos. They will marry the Tom Hardy penis photos.) So to further prove I have no idea what they want, here’s the trailer for Fifty Shades Darker, which looks like the same old Hollywood stereotype of people who are into fisting living rich, exciting lives full of luxury and intrigue. We get it, you take an entire arm to the ham wallet and someone sabotaged your helicopter. But enough about my shame, because the real reason for this post is to soak up pageviews with these Dakota Johnon topless photos. (Again, ladies, why? You’re better than this.)

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Photos: Universal