Fergie too drunk to fly

March 14th, 2007 // 105 Comments


Fergie was set to fly from Los Angeles to the UK but was banned from boarding the flight after being branded “too drunk to travel.” She delayed the flight for an hour while her luggage was removed, and a source says:

“She was falling all over the place and had to be supported. She was in no state to fly. But when she was prevented from boarding she couldn’t believe it. She was drunkenly ranting at staff but could barely string a sentence together. It was very embarrassing.”

I was prevented from boarding a plane once because they said my fists needed to be registered as deadly weapons. I don’t remember what happened next but I think I punched a little girl through a wall. Justice prevails!

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  1. schack

    i hear the voices in my head, i swear to god, it sounds like a story, and if you’re bored, then you’re boring

  2. leezastudio

    #24, shnots kame out of my nose reading that, i was trying to keep the laughter in but instead shnooties came out of my nose, eeeek , my boss gave me an extremely disturbed look , eeeek

  3. jrzmommy

    hey schack, do your “friends” know that you come to this website all day to make yourself feel like your witty? And what are you doing here, dear little half-witted one? Hmmmm?? Am I to assume you don’t have a job? Or do you have a job but it’s okay for YOU to post here all fucking day but not for anyone else? So which is it, are you a hypocrite or an unemployed loser fuckhead? Or are you studying at some bullshit liberal arts college hoping to get your B.A. in some retarded useless field, like history? Pussy.

  4. biatcho

    Soooo the multiple personalities explain your desperate need for attention by posting every other comment in every thread. Makes sense now. God, I’d rather rub shit through my hair than have to talk to you on a daily basis.

  5. BarbadoSlim

    Threads have become a little err…shacktastic, lately.

  6. schack

    whoaaaaaaaaa. i get a little food and come back to THIS.

    you don’t HAVE to talk to me at all.

    and i am getting a degree in some field that will only ever be useful to me, and that’s in accepting my ultimate uselessness.

  7. jrzmommy

    thought so….just your everyday run of the mill jackoff.

  8. biatcho

    wow, you’re a fast eater. Did you even chew it? You must be fat.

  9. jrzmommy

    schack–is that what you live in?

  10. schack

    i am fat. i’m REALLY fat. i’m so fat i can’t even walk. and i don’t chew. ever. i blend and slurp.

    you wanna see a video of me?


    it’s in german, which i would’t expect you to understand, but i’m sure you’ll get the gist.

  11. BarbadoSlim

    I don’t really see any people talking to you ever. YOU, however talk to everyone

  12. biatcho

    BINGO… Slim got it!

    I feel like Herbie Frog is one of your multiple personalities. And Lamebananas. And possibly SJTLQ.

  13. schack



  14. biatcho

    Oh by the way, I feel super dumb because I can’t understand Nazi lingo. Wow, you must be proud of yourself. So does Nazism run in the family? Is this why you feel so superior to everyone who studies other languages besides German?

  15. schack

    hah. german=nazi. how long did the math for that one take you?

    i speak brazilian portuguese too.

    and i wouldn’t feel superior to native anglophones who speak chinese or japanese. i can’t even imagine.

  16. biatcho

    “how long did the math for that one take you?” I see you haven’t mastered English yet.

  17. schack

    oh, well, i’ll never MASTER any language

  18. jrzmommy

    yeah yeah yeah….everyone is fucking fluent in 15 fucking languages here. whatever. try again. What else? you’re rich, you’re a Rhodes Scholar, you drive a solid gold ferrari….blah blah blah blah….same shit, different asshole.

  19. schack

    if i were rich, why would i apply for a Rhodes Scholarship?

  20. biatcho

    I shit solid gold ferrari’s.

  21. schack

    and speaking 3 languages is really kind of pathetic for most non-americans

  22. jrzmommy

    Oh yeah, we’re dealing with a regular fucking Mensa member here…..

  23. schack

    i’m serious. go to europe, most people speak at least 4, and really, really well.

    i didn’t say i was fluent.

  24. BarbadoSlim

    I’m getting monster Deja Vu, didn’t we already have this exact same exchange with juliawhatsherface, wasn’t she fluent in 500 languages and dialects plus she also spoke Plutonian.

  25. jrzmommy

    Barbado–We did, but I’m sure Ghoulia didn’t look at the Rhodes Scholarship program as a PEL Grant, though. Maybe she did, she was pretty much an ignorant douchebag, too. this place needs to be like cleansed of morons. Kinda like an ethnic cleansing, but not of ethnic groups….like an intellect cleansing? Yeah, that’s it, it needs a good intellectual enema.

  26. schack

    i think rich people shouldn’t apply for scholarships, even if they are qualified to recieve them, especially in a country whose government fails to use its tax dollars wisely. cut their taxes so that other people can’t afford school, and they’re gonna apply for a rhodes while they’re raking it in? that’s stupid.

    guess your cleansing idea should include you too. you and your torn-up wasted mom junk.

  27. MrSemprini

    If you Euros hadn’t all lost so many wars, you wouldn’t NEED to speak so many languages.

  28. BarbadoSlim

    Mensa indeed, and now that I remember we haven’t had a southern down home style Superficial gangbang here since Ghoulia stopped comin’…

  29. jrzmommy

    No, it shouldn’t. I had to re-read your horseshit three times before I could understand what in the fuck you’re saying. Jesus Christ….where in the fuck do people like you breed? Is there a fucking moron factory somewhere that mass produces absolutely irretrievably stupid people on some sort of infinity loop? Fuck the flu, there’s a pandemic of idiocy. Jesus jumped up fucking tap dancing Christ!

  30. Lowlands

    #79)I think you must be Catholic because i always thought Jezus and Christ are the same.

  31. BarbadoSlim

    I must admit to being amused by our recently arrived scholar’s attempts at wit and college course induced verbosity.

    However, when you step out into the real world you’ll realize those will be good for exactly two things, one is Jack and the other is Shit.

    I speak from experience

  32. Lowlands

    Lebanese/Mexican…ya right…What kind of people are Mexican?don’t they have to work?

  33. biatcho

    #80 – actually Catholics are forbidden, by one of the 10 Commandos, from using the term Jesus Christ. Can’t take thy lord’s name in vain.
    With that being said & being raised a Catholic myself, I prefer Jesus Cocksucking Christ.

  34. jrzmommy

    I’m a Catholic and it is written that Jesus was one hell of a fucking tap dancer.

  35. Lowlands

    Actually i’m a bit disappointed you aren’t a real Moslima because that would be interesting.But i guess you know more about this then me anyway.

  36. HollyJ

    If you re-read the Bible replacing “tap dancing” everytime it says “God” it makes for a much smoother read.

    Like, John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was [tap dancing}, and the Word was with {tap dancing}.

    Just sayin’

  37. justifiable

    #81 Oy, I’m not amused, just bored – and in between posting Unabomber shit we also have schack’s True Confessions: “i’m tired of the foreplay, and i’m looking for someone else who is. and i look here because i think alot of my university compatriots are not really interested in learning anything. universities have become places where frustrated people make up “lingo” to keep their ideas unintelligible to people whom they subsequently ridicule for not understanding.”
    Talk about looking for love in the all the wrong places…ever heard of Match.com?? Maybe Ghoulia’s got an ad there and you two could hook up.

  38. Lowlands

    Well,i saw him already there but looks a bit to hairy for me.I rather go for somebody less hairy.

  39. velveethra

    What? Oh, yeah. Fergie. Fergie’s ugly as hell.

  40. Lowlands

    #89)That’s for sure i agree with you.

  41. KimberWolf

    I dont get it, how sober to you have to be to fly? She wasn’t the pilot!

    I can’t fly sober, it freaks me out.

  42. luvinit

    All I have to say is:

    T to the R to the A, N,N,Y fergies a tranny
    Hit Fergie:
    Everytime I gather around brothers are looking me up and down trying to see if I’m man. Now I ain’t trying to round up drama lil mama I’m just trying to compare sizes with your man!!!!

  43. licklick

    Too drunk to fly?

    Fergie really is a fun girl! I want to be part of entourage. Cast me as black, white, yellow or brown. Make me a man, woman or rodent. I want to be there. With her. On meth.

    And very, very drunk.

  44. HollyJ

    “What you gon’ do with all that frump?
    All that frump inside your trunk?
    I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
    Get you drunk off my frump…

    They say I’m really elderly,
    The boys they really scared of me.
    They always standing next to me,
    Always dancing next to me,
    Starin’ at my frump, frump.
    Gawkin’ at my man bump.
    You can look but you can’t touch it,
    If you touch it I’ma start some drama,
    You don’t want no drama,
    No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
    So don’t pull on my dick boy,
    You ain’t my man, boy,
    I’m just tryn’a dance boy,
    And move my frump…”

  45. NipsyHustle

    happy steak and blow job day

  46. Ted...From LA

    The same thing happened to me recently on a flight back from Vegas to LA, only I didn’t get angry. I just walked back to the bar and told the bartender he owed me cab fare to LA for over serving me. He gladly paid the $1950. I think the gun may have helped my cause. I also screwed his wife out of revenge. Revenge is better for ones health than anger.

  47. #96- $1950 for a cab ride from Vegas to LA.
    Sounds like you got a pretty good deal.

  48. isitme

    My drunk…My drunk…My lovely lady drunk! S to the K-U-N-K-Y…Skunkylicious! So Drunkylicious!
    You hafta love it! I wonder if her bladder was “sweating” again as she bitched out non-drunk people making an honest living?

  49. isitme

    TED, maybe you should hook-up with Skange…she lives a very interesting invented life, also. Since Brad Pitt has been completely emasculated, maybe you can have some imaginary sex with him, too!

  50. darkone338

    a caller to Scott Mills on Radio 1 last night claimed to be sitting close to Fergie on a Virgin Atlantic flight from LA to the UK this week so I guess she made it eventually.

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