Fergie is a terrible live performer

May 20th, 2008 // 171 Comments

Fergie performed/butchered the Heart classic “Barracuda” this morning on The Today Show (video after the jump). Talk about insulting. It’s a documented fact that I heart Heart. Anyway, during the song Fergie decided to pretend she was fellating her guitar player which, you know, hey, that’s rock n’ roll. But, for the record, her audience was stocked with parents and children, I shitteth thee not! I’m sure lots of questions were asked on the drive home particularly the always awkward, “Mommy, why did that man dress like a lady and make the baby Jesus cry?”

Photos: Splash News, Video: MSNBC

  1. stormpathos

    fltc. oh, and first.

  2. gits

    Ironically the kids’ pants were completely dry.

  3. Ed

    Lotta kids sleeping with their lights on tonight.

  4. Blind Gay Morbidly Obese Fan

    I don’t know what you guys are talking about, she looks great!!! Almost as hot as Britney in her adorable bikini!!!

  5. Heh heh heh… what a pisser…

  6. dude in irvine

    Fucking Fergie.

    I used to say that any Fergie performance where she’s not so strung out on drugs that she pisses her pants is welcome.

    I was wrong. Good lord, this woman CANNOT sing.

    • Red Ice

      Fergie can fuck up ANYTHING!!!! She is sucha strung out BITCH it is ridiculos….

      • Red Ice

        SING !!! your right too strung out to even carry a note…JUST SAY NO FERGIE!!!!! To all of it… make a better whore than anything else… PULL THE TRAIN dumb bitch…CAUSE YOU CAN’T SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Vince Lombardi

    Every woman who looks like her should be required to wear those pants.

  8. Jrz

    Kids Incorporated

  9. veggi

    Susan in accounting just did the ‘I fuck for change stripper crawl’ over to the copy machine.. She’s so silly..

  10. bb

    I would lick her meth tainted cunt if I had the chance. I love this fucking whore!

  11. thufir

    If you are going to wear heels that high shouldn’t your ass have at least an ounce of definition? Half an ounce

  12. Andres

    This is disturbing on so many levels…. the horrendous voice, pathetic dancing, the freaked out kids, it’s amazing that talentless clowns like this meth-addicted tranny otherwise known as Fergie can muster the nerve to perform live, where real musicians and talented producers aren’t there to mask her grotesqueness

  13. luckyglinda

    pants too tight, I can see her dick, not impressive.

  14. Lauren

    I guess you would have to do cartwheels to try and distract from the fact that your voice is pitiful in comparision to Ann Wilson. What a tranny…

  15. Binky

    Well at least she threw in a few somersaults to take your mind off the music.

  16. Binky

    (Lauren and I are obviously part time gymnastic coaches)

  17. at least she didn’t pee her pants

  18. nipolian

    Fergie’s destiny lies somewhere around pages 96 and 107 in the September issue of Hustler magazine.

  19. Bigheadmike


  20. Em

    At least she can still do her Kids Incorporated gymnastics, those poor kids in the front row are going to have nightmares for years.

  21. It's me Fuckers

    I love the boots she has on in the pictures!

  22. Jumpin_J

    Sorry to bust your nuts, Lauren (#15), but Nancy Wilson sings lead in Heart, not Ann who played lead guitar. Also, if Fergie gets any heavier, she’ll need to borrow clothes from Ann.

    Would’ve been better if they had MORE COWBELL!!!

  23. Help ME!!!!

    Ann WIlson must be puking up her 3 dozen doughnuts she ate this morning! And what about ‘Herpie’s” lame-ass drummer… could any ONE drummer ruin a song more than this idiot? Poor old Denni Carramassi (Heart’s Original Drummer) has been dissed big time. I especially like the one-handed cartwheels!

    Fergie’s new name is HERPIES

    Pass it on!

    She’s back on the crack!!!!

  24. Boy in first row

    “Somebody brought tuna fish for lunch!”

  25. Eliza


  26. stizz

    #23 sorry dude, but you’re wrong-o. Nancy is the red head who played guitar, Anne is the fat dark haired one with the kick ass voice.

  27. havoc

    Fergie blows dogs for quarters…….


  28. Anon

    The switch from “Barracuda” to “Welcome to the Jungle” makes me think someone played a lil too much Guitar Hero 3 and decided they were rock ‘n’ roll.

  29. Sparqi

    I didn’t know the Today Show had a karaoke machine. Huh.

    What’s with the fat pasty white-guy guitarist/bassist theme? I’m fairly certain the guy in the pink tie is my plumber.

  30. bb

    #27. Your right on. Although back in the day, Ann was not that big of a fucking cow. Too bad she is now. Nancy is waaay hot back in the 80′s.

  31. Haildamagewatch

    Hey #23, #27 is right. It’s your nuts that are busted.

    When you sound so sure of yourself when you’re just wrong, well, you’re just PWNED!

  32. samy

    She has on different boots while she’s convulsing all over the stage – no way she could have cartwheeled in those 5 inch heels!

  33. Confused

    In the video she isn’t wearing hells. in the picture she is.
    I’m confused.

  34. Rev. C. Noevil

    Relax, you judgmental motherfuckers. It was all part of a sexual abstinence program being taught in their schools. Research has shown that incorporating a live performance by Fergie increases abstinence rates by 75%, and some remain chaste for life.

  35. Richard McBeef

    i like how he is crawling around like a goddamn stripper at 2:50 with a bunch of 8 year olds about 2 feet away. seriously

  36. Richard McBeef

    she looks like Rene Russo…

    With a giant dick

  37. Deva

    Well, at least she learned to stop pissing on herself. What? Too soon??

  38. echoroc

    i just watched this in the privacy of my living room and i hope no one saw.

  39. Erica

    What the FUCK is wrong with that lady?!???

    Sorry…. I’m still mad at her for ruining the Peas…..

  40. Anonymous

    Can someone please tell me how these no-talent hacks continue to get famous? I recall when a performer had to have at least a tiny shred of talent.

  41. sharp as a marble

    yep. she’s performing like a stripper in front of kids and she looks like a tranny. yep. just in case anybody needed a mid-thread recap.

  42. andy7171

    I don’t know what you all are looking at, but I’d plow that into August!

  43. Anonymous

    Jumpin J……you are incorrect……Ann Wilson is the lead singer…….Nancy is the guitarist……..

  44. Satan

    #34 – she was wearing hells initially but I demanded that she take them off. That’s my domain.

  45. Droopy The Penis

    Fergie’s face makes my penis sad.

  46. Tapeworm

    Anyone else notice the rolls/folds of fat on her arm on the last picture, the one where’s she’s trying to blown her brains out with 2 of her fingers.

    Also anyone notice all the pictures of her ass are from a 3/4 angle — not directly from behind. Probably would’ve required a fucking fisheye lens to fit that girth into one frame.

    She probably sucked off some tatoo’ed union greybeard after the performance under the stage.

  47. Anonymous

    Damn people, get it right! Carmassi was NOT the original drummer for Heart…..but he WAS the original drummer for Montrose…..FUCK!! Get your rock facts straight!!!!

  48. Giomon_Rocks

    Oh the humanity! But seriously, she sucks ass.

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