Fergie + crystal meth = Hilarity! And also muffins

March 21st, 2008 // 47 Comments

Fergie is an admitted former methhead and shared with Marie Claire some of her drop dead riotous adventures in paranoia. Fergie was so sure the government was after her that they were hiding in baked goods. ABC News reports:

“I had about 20 different conspiracy theories. I painted the windows in my apartment black so they couldn’t see in,” Fergie told Marie Claire, explaining that she thought the FBI was after her during her brief addiction to methamphetamines around 2001.
“One day, when I was about 90 pounds, a guy comes up to me. … I’m searching in the bushes for clues about whatever they’re after me for. I’m in a cowboy hat and red lips. He hands me a muffin. I’m thinking, he’s in on it,” Fergie said.

You know what compliments a good drug story? Baby bump pictures! That’s good, old-fashioned awkwardness. These shots were taken last night and there’s no denying Josh Duhamel hates his penis. He impregnated Fergie which must’ve been like knocking up an anatomically correct wax statue – of a man. But without the usual erotic undertones of such an act. I’m, uh, not allowed in a lot of museums these days…

Thanks to Stormy Towers and his brother Cloudy Bungalow.

Photos: INFdaily.com
superficial

  1. Sierra

    meth? wow, so surprising.

  2. ATX

    What does Josh see in that tranny? She is sooooo gross.

  3. Anonymous

    She is so fucking ugly………

  4. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    Apparently the paps caught her leaving the plastic surgeon after some vag repair.

  5. sophie

    NICE jacket !!!!!!!!!

  6. Guy

    Jackets the best thing in the whole photo, I would rub my penis against the jacket rather then the thing wearing it.

  7. Guy Kawasaki

    This was funnier on Celebslam 11 days ago:

    http://celebslam.buzznet.com/fergie-meth-paranoia

    Also the pics aren’t from last night, they’re from earlier this week. They’ve already been posted everywhere

  8. LizzyPoo

    She is not as pretty as she looks in her stupid ass videos. The wonders of makeup and air brushing these days! I am sick of her music, she’s way too trendy and her voice isn’t even that great. I guess big fake boobs and a nice body can really pay off. That all makes up for her fugly face. I hate the black eyed peas to! Arghhh!! they suck!

  9. Ted from LA

    She looks like a wax museum version of Jessica Simpson.

  10. smashboogie

    I betting she just got some work done on her inbetweenis.

  11. Ted from LA

    I know because I had a close up look at a wax museum version of Jessica Simpson while I was having sex with it. I waited in the bathroom until the place closed, and we made sweet love all night long. She was kind enough to not laugh at my smallish penis and my premature ejaculation. I think she likes me: I did make quite the impression on her after all.

    Do you think yellow and white Pla-Doh will fill in the dents on her tits from my fingers and/or neck from the steel chain I was choking her with?

  12. Jon H

    Why is Michael Cera wearing a wig and a skirt?

  13. DJ

    Legalize it- Don’t Despise It

    That’s why people should just stick to the green. One gets high, relaxes, everything is interesting; life is good; eat some chocolate; just one happy camper.

  14. titlesswonder

    She resembles Mickey Rourke here, not sure who should be crying about that – her or Mickey Rourke?

  15. eh

    i could’ve sworn that was her wax museum double….shes got loads of makeup on…ew

  16. jFp

    ok, this dog is bigboned. Sooner or later its gonna balloon up.

  17. wowsers

    she’s preggers and she’s not attractive at all.

  18. fbn

    She is not as pretty as she looks in her stupid ass videos. Many friends I met on a millioinaire dating site called meetingwealthy think so too. They are successful men and women. We usually talk together.

  19. Spongebob Gangsta

    Seriously, she is such a Tranaphrodite…Hoebot in Disguise

  20. alwaysclassy

    Some things just defy logic. She is one of them…
    I, too, cannot understand what anyone sees in this tranny-ish mess.
    And way to brag about how cool your drug addiction was…. way cool.

  21. looner

    BOTOX !!!

  22. RENEE

    Her fiancee seriously needs to get his eyes checked; either that or his head. Fergie looks like a really ugly, gross, deformed version of Jessica Simpson here. Like if Jessica was melting or something. And yet at the same time she’s got a bit of a Jennifer Aniston look to her too; I think its the pumpkin shaped head. But she’s rich, and apparently happy, and her fiancee ain’t half bad to look at, so I should just shut up. Plus Fergie does seem like a nice person, and is in great physical shape. So I really should just shut up. All that being said, I’d still rather be me than her.

  23. Dorito Man

    Ew. Phony fingernails. barf

  24. dude

    She’s “Fergie-Nauseous”

  25. bar room hero

    She looks like a tran-sexual

  26. bmose

    “My Bumps”

  27. ChildFreeforMe

    She still uses meth!! What a LIAR!!!

    And does other drugs as well.

  28. Zilver

    P R E G G E R S !

  29. Fergie and Josh Duhamel are the most awkward looking couple I’ve ever seen. Not only is she is tranny, she looks old enough to be his mom. And yes, I’m jealous (Josh is hot, even if it’s in a sorta “TV hot” way), but still… c’mon!

    Click the link for a photo of his previous fiancee… Clearly, he traded down.

  30. BarelyStearn

    If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: The single most talented male singer to come along in ages…

  31. BarelyStearn

    P.S. –
    Jesus, in one week I’ve had to endure a pregnant Fergie, a tight close up of Amy Winehouse’s face, and Tara Reid wearing a bathing suit… Whoever said that the Internet can be the portal to the male fantasy world never heard of The Superficial….

    The only %^&@’ing way our Host can make this right is a pic of Mickey Rourke sporting a mankini.

  32. Frank Lucas' Bitch

    Oh my God, just looking at her face…I threw up all over my keyboard.

  33. extracheeseplease

    #22, i take Josh’s “sorta TV-hot” kind of way over Fergie’s “undeniably photograph-hideous”..seriously, I’d rather be kind of attractive than ugly to everyone.

  34. Juaqin Ingles

    Hmm… Not sure I get fiance #1 either. He seems like a nice guy, just has questionable taste in “women.”

  35. Juaqin Ingles

    And this broad has wrecked herself. Her whole selling point was that body.

  36. Jizz

    HEY!!!
    Are me and my bitch the ONLY two people that see that this broad is PREGNANT!!! PREGGERS!!!
    Fergie Ferg be loving her man LONG TIME to get that tummy!! She is totally knocked up!!!
    BREAK THE STORY
    TELL US MORE!!
    Shot gun wedding?!? I think maybe!!!

  37. lucy

    BREAK THE STORY
    TELL US MORE!!
    Shot gun wedding?!? I think maybe!!! By the way, i recently signed up on S e e k i n g T a l l . c o m in hope to meet friends or more on Internet. Is it easy? you may want to talk to me under the name cathywoo there…

  38. Globalglamour

    Fergie’s fucking ugly.
    Lol love her music tho.

    G.G.
    xoxo
    http://www.globalglamour.wordpress.com

  39. Jaclyn

    She is having a baby… Look at the belly. It’s grown since the music awards!

  40. Mark

    I love her sweet smile .I saw her in millonaire dating site”WealthyLoving.com”.Is really has a new baby?

  41. kristina

    She just confirmed in a recent magazine that she used to let plastic surgeons ppractice on her face in exchange for hits. That would explain the messed-up transexual look.

  42. gotmilk?

    holy fucking hell that last photo is ugly. she reminds me of the Beast in the beauty & the beast tv series from way back.

    here, she’s a dead ringer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Hamilton-perlman-BandB.jpg

  43. anniem

    (YAWN!) Booorrrringggg….. enough of this troll already!!!!

  44. LISA

    SHE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  45. Savannah

    She looks like a man in a horse costume.

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