Fergie can’t quite sing

December 5th, 2006 // 125 Comments

Did everybody watch the Billboard Music Awards 2006 last night? Yeah, me neither, but apparently this is what we all missed. It starts off okay, but slowly degrades into a drunken slur. I mean there’s bad rap, and then there’s bad rap, and then there’s whatever it is Fergie is trying to pull off here.

Thanks to Denna for the tip, and for looking great in a short skirt.

superficial

  1. justlikehoney1

    #48 – precisely ;0}

  2. NipsyHustle

    wiggers are awesome. i miss EARL :(

  3. FYI #45

    To insult someone by calling that person “retarded” is just as ignorant as calling them “wigger”.

    WTF is your problem with retards? They didn’t choose it. BTW–developmentally disabled is sometimes used in place of the pejorative “retard.”

  4. Solaera

    Barf. Who buys this shit music? This bitch is ridiculous, as is Gwen Suckfani. There are so many talented singer/songwriters out there and these are the “musicians” who are selling records? Fucking incredible.

  5. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Attention everyone: I just invented a new word: “Wigtard”. Use it accordingly…

  6. deluxxe

    someone forgot to plug in her vocoder

  7. libtard

    Wigtard. It has a ring to it that I whole-heartedly endorse.

  8. There's a Surprise Inside

    Where are her Harajuku girls?

  9. isa_grawr

    #50- i feel your pain. yodeling and gwen stefani do not match. in fact. nothing goes with yodeling. it should be outlawed.

    and fergie looks like she forgot she was actually alive and was supposed to be moving and breathing.

  10. Tits_McGhee

    I’ve heard drunken sorority girls at Cheeseburger in Paradise karaoke better than this butterface.

  11. NipsyHustle

    For those like me who didn’t know what this meant, let me share some internet wisdom:

    BUTTERFACE

    A girl with an exceptionally hot body but an exceptionally ugly face. Everything but-her-face is attractive.

  12. HughJorganthethird

    The best part about this clip is the fucking morons losing their minds in the front rows like John Lennon had risen from the grave to preform imagine for one last time. It’s fucking Fergie singing a shitsong you brainless fucks. time to nuke LA.

  13. seatsniffer

    The Duchess of Dork.

  14. Missy8580

    give the girl a break, it wasn’t that bad—90% of people don’t sound as good live. plus she’s got josh duhamel so she’s doing better than most of us!

  15. noonespecial8888

    She’s having a hard time staying up in her heels…..maybe that’s why she walks so stiff.

  16. noonespecial8888

    Oh god, can’t forget Josh. Yum.

    Ahem!! She must do something good.

  17. NipsyHustle

    #64

    josh duhamel is hot but he’s a B lister like her. now if she were with deniro, depp, or or nicholson then i’d think her shit didn’t stink.

    i think she’s pregnant. there are countless videos of her performing this song on various programs and in all of them she was practically naked and danced around alot. on an awards show she comes out in some matronly night gown down to her knees and barely moves anywhere except forward and backward. she’s going to give birth to a tall muppet.

  18. dreamhypnotique

    hey cantlookbackwontlookback;

    i don’t think “wigger” is any more or less ignorant than all the obscenities you used in your own post in order to chastise me, including “retarded.”

    I think the spirit of this website is to respond to what is widely considered media trash (paris hilton, lindsay lohan, et al) with good-natured, stress-relieving “i feel better about myself after trashing them even though i envy their money and all the fun they have while i work 9-5″ trash-talking. F-bombs and other four letter words are part of the package.

    Perhaps you object to the racial connotations of “wigger.” Well perhaps I object to the misuse of the word “retarded” because I know some kind people with mental disabilities. Or, I think I’ll just draw my line where I draw it, and you can draw your line where you draw it, and we can all just continue having fun bashing celebrities.

    Superficial.com isn’t a place (i don’t think) for intellectual stimulation; I think it’s just a place where people who are bored at work go to talk shit because they can’t talk shit to their boss, or maybe it gives the meek a chance to say what they really think in a safe environment. It’s just trash talk. If I offended you with “wigger” I apologize, however I think people who come to this site are just going for a good time while they’re stuck at the daily grind.

  19. Granted, Fergie is no great singer. However, she gets the job done and is raking in the dough.

    http://www.shopfemina.com/stars80.html

  20. mizzbizzy

    She sucks, hard. I just saw her in concert last week and the show was good, but you can tell which songs she actually “sings” and which are lip synced. When she “sings” it’s just awful.

  21. polypam

    To #39/ justlikehoney1

    Yeah, read my comment, the whole thing. I wasn’t comparing voices. Beyonce CANNOT DANCE! End of story. She’s up there with Mariah, Whitney, Christina… girls with pipes that lack rhythm. Doesn’t mean she sucks, just means she can’t dance. I’m embarrassed for her in that “Deja Vu” video.

    Fergie can shake her booty, though. It’s just ashame she picked such an unfortunate pair of shoes to wear during that performance.

  22. PontiacFlanagan

    This kind of shit defines Billboard and the Grammys. No-talents that are constantly marketed on MTV and cell phone commercials until people start thinking about how badly they don’t want to be caught being the last sheep on their block without the new, shitty, mass-marketed turdpile. Remember when OK Computer didn’t win album of the year in 1997? I do. That was the last time I paid even an ounce of attention to those scams. Nothing else even came out in 97. It might as well have been just that one album. Christ, it’s been out for almost 10 years and I still love it. Vermont should pass a law so I can fly my copy of OK there and marry it. As for Black Eyed Peas, they were a piss-poor hip-hop act when they came out. Not that many people cared about them because they sucked so bad, but then they throw this low-rent shemale in the mix and all of a sudden people paid attention. Only because they had a blonde white chick in the band. The end. Nothing got better about them. Actually, she probably made them worse. I swear she must have to get her adam’s apple shaved as often as she gets her beardline waxed. Fucking hideous no-talent tranny. Frat boys wake up now! Just because somebody works out and tans, it doesn’t mean they’re hot. Also, she was born with testicles. That makes all of you frat boys gay. I mean, gayer then you were before. Saying Fergie is hot is like sticking one foot out of the closet.

  23. chubbs

    i didnt know the ballerina in my jerwlery box came in life size form

    who told her that dress made her look good? even on her body its a train wreck in the making

  24. guest1234567

    f*ck. I just wasted 3 and a half minutes of my life. Why would anybody pay money to listen to this crap?

  25. wedgeone

    Word #72 – this reminds me of an episode of The Critic many moons ago. Film critic Jay Sherman wins his second Pulitzer Prize by writing “If the movie is bad, just don’t go!” Those who run the industry put out lame shit because people buy it. So the only way to stop crap music from being sold by no talent artists is for the public to just not buy it!! It worked in Paris’ case – why not for others??

    #54 – The reason that crappy artists get promoted is because they don’t realize how badly they’re getting screwed in their record deal until it’s too late. Musicians with talent are generally smart enough to not get taken advantage of or sacrifice their art for $$$.

    Bono said it best at U2′s R&R HOF induction – who is going to be around to induct 20 years from now? The industry prohibits artists from having longevity because then the artist makes as much money as the record labels do, and the labels won’t stand for that.

    And #21, since you put your K-Earl comment in the context of a retarded chimp, I’m down with ya’. America’s Funniest Home Videos style!!

  26. wedgeone

    #75 – BE INDUCTED 20 years from now – sorry.

  27. fame is funny

    MC Lyte would rip Fergie a new asshole. Fergie is a marginally talented singer, and an even less talented MC. I am sure someone else wrote the rhyme to start with, and she can’t even memorize it? It’s not like her dancing was so intense she messed up the words, she just sucks. She is an insult to hip-hop, women mc’s, and music in general.

  28. NipsyHustle

    the only white person that can rap well is eminem. period. eveyone stop looking. his is the “elvis” of white rappers. there will be none greater.

    jay z tried to sell “lady sovereign” as some great mc but that just goes to show how much of a dollar whore he is. he’s basically selling her as the female “eminem”.

  29. NipsyHustle

    lady sovereign sucks ass, maybe she can open for fergie!!!!

  30. James

    Just another case of why white people don’t belong in the hip hop world. Lady Sovereign sucks and Fergie sucks, they aren’t my type. Now if they sung non black music they’d be in a better position. Race mixing whores, nuff said.

  31. lol… it was OK (for what it is) until near the end when she started walking and rapping. She just lost her breath. I probably would too in high heels like those.

  32. magickal

    Holy shit. I totally forgot about KIDS Incorporated. Wow.

    I too thought this soon was a blatant rip off of Supersonic. I too thought “have I been spelling ‘tasty’ wrong this whole time?” I too find her to be one butterfaced wigger!!!!!!

  33. SVA1994

    I didn’t hear any slurring.

  34. Saera

    PAHJAHAHAHA.
    her dress was so short that when she was hugging that guy,
    it got pulled up hahahaa.

  35. TurdFerguson

    Wigger is one of the best words ever. Just mention it and a virtual cornucopia of images will flood one’s mind.

  36. NipsyHustle

    #85

    you’re making me miss EARL. hopefully he’ll reuinte with brit cause she’s more tragic without him than with him. let’s hope they can be a family for the holidays.

  37. yoyodude64

    umm im not sure how astute this is or if its even true…but are her female background dancers dressed as slutty girl scouts? someone take a look and see if i got that right.

  38. NicotineEyePatch

    I just couldn’t stop staring at her legs last night, like they went straight up and had nothing in between… so weird.. like train tracks! And so stiff… I think she was loaded.

    #77: I hope MC Lyte reads these posts and passes them on to Roxanne Shante, Da Brat, and BWP. Fergie needs to get served! And she really does suck.

  39. darkone338

    #32 thats because the same guy has writing credits on both songs. Its obvious its a cover with new lyrics.

  40. NipsyHustle

    #87

    yep, she has them dressed like slutty girl scouts in her video too.

  41. Carsten5577

    Are “Wiggers” the clueless, confused, pathetic White kids who think it’s hip to walk, talk, look, and act like violent and stupid man-ape hybrids from the ‘hood? If so, Wiggers disprove Darwin and his theory of evolution every day.

  42. mrs.t

    Damn….thought she kicked meth?

    Rhymes with: TRAINWRECK.

  43. EnII

    Because I’m so out of it . .can somebody please tell me where the drunkeness starts in? It all sounds the same to me :[

  44. BarbadoSlim

    This is for #45, excuse me? who da fuck are you? Don’t come in here actin’ all up like you can tell people to get the fuck out. Wigger is the word we use for Earl up in this mutha.

    stfu

  45. *bob*

    #68
    shut the fucking hell up

  46. lysistrata11

    No-talent-ass-clowns.

    Who can tell me what movie that’s from? :)

  47. Celetina

    Heels are no excuse for not dancing. Ginger Rogers wore some pretty damn daunting shoes and ruined every pair because after every performance they’d be covered in blood, lymph and pus (from an interview). And what the fuck is this? I freely admit to not knowing a thing about rap or hip-hop, but it seems like she’s just standing there, speaking random shit, and then occasionally turning around. Meanwhile her background dancers are working their asses off.

    Seriously, what? People paid money for this?

  48. dreamhypnotique

    to #95

    you have a 2″ dong. It actually just looks like a large clitoris.

  49. spamfighter

    I hereby pledge a hundred bucks to get this girl back on the crank and off the air, record, and stage. The only thing worse than this was the huge dump WllIam took on sergio medes music. fregie was on that too. Why are these people allowed to live?

  50. TorontoMapleLeafs

    #78- agreed. Eminem was the first, and he will be the last. no other white person can get away with rapping other then eminem. well maybe k-fed could be the next eminem………NOOO just kidding. my god im kidding.

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