Fergie can’t quite sing

December 5th, 2006 // 125 Comments

Did everybody watch the Billboard Music Awards 2006 last night? Yeah, me neither, but apparently this is what we all missed. It starts off okay, but slowly degrades into a drunken slur. I mean there’s bad rap, and then there’s bad rap, and then there’s whatever it is Fergie is trying to pull off here.

Thanks to Denna for the tip, and for looking great in a short skirt.

superficial

  1. jiminijilikers

    SHUT THE FUCK UP ^^^^^ (OP and Fergie)

  2. jiminijilikers

    shut up ^^^^ (op and fergie)

  3. crabbie

    She can’t dress or think either.

    http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

  4. Who the Heck Is Fergie?

  5. CodeNameWench

    Saying that Fergie can’t sing is like insulting god.

    But I’m pretty sure that Fergie’s singing insults god. And my ears.

  6. Bugman4045

    How can something with so many lights, talented dancers, and a mildly catchy beat, still be so unbelievably boring?
    I would rather watch K-Fed at his mixing board ‘bringin da fire’ of Popozao!

  7. Yenstah

    What a stiff boring performance. Maybe Brit can teach her some jazz hands moves?

  8. Jacquelantern

    Make it stop!!!!!!! That’s talent? She’s a hag. Oh yeah and what the hell is with her earrings? Could they be any bigger?

  9. Binky

    I’m shocked by the commercialism in these ‘performers’. My sources tell me the name of that song is ‘Nestle’s Quik’

  10. I thought she sounded fine. She’s not the most convincing live rapper, but I don’t think that this warrants a post. I don’t care how good Denna looks spreadeagled naked on your car!

  11. nj4x4fever

    Can Someone tell me who this Fergie is, The Only Fergie I know is Sarah Margaret Ferguson. Am I Even Close?

  12. wedgeone

    She didn’t seem drunk or slurring from what I heard. She’s just not too interested in dancing or singing, just doing the hippity-hopping, pseudo-rapping thing.
    It still wasn’t very good – more flair and show than substance. She definitely looks much better than she sounds. #8 is dead right – funny!
    I must disagree with #7 – enduring anything that K-Earl does is a fate worse than death. I pray that you were being sarcastic.

  13. wedgeone

    #5 & #12 – Fergie is the chick from The Black Eyed Peas. She has a solo album out.

  14. Courtney

    Why the hell is she just standing there? If you’re nothing but a hot body you should at least use it. But The Black Eyed Peas suck live, period. People like her need to just thank god that pyrotechnics and other assorted nifty visuals are used to distract everyone from their complete lack of talent.

  15. prettysopo

    This is like bad karaoke. It’s such an upbeat song… why does she just stand there the whole time? And they spell “tasty” wrong. There is no E in tasty!

  16. chelsea_423

    WTF has happened to music? This makes me want to cry, not because its so strinkingly bad, because its what pretty much all popular music today is like. It degrades women (by making sluttiness and dressing like a ho seem like the norm) and anyone who can spell or use decent grammar (tastey is not how you spell tasty – don’t make your young audience dumber than they already are). Sorry for going off on a rant here but this shit pisses me off. Oh, and here whole ‘Fergie the Duchess’ thing irritates me too. She’s Stacy Ferguson from Kids Incorporated. Fergie is the Duchess of York.

  17. sexybitch

    Fergie the “Dutchess” also can’t spell her title for shit.

  18. RoseColoredGlasses

    what in the living hell was she wearing?!?! Also…out of every living song I hate, this one tops it OFF!!

  19. Tracy

    I wore that same dress on Easter Sunday 1974, with my patent leather mary jane shoes a big green bow in my hair… I was 4.

  20. Bugman4045

    13, I was being serious. The video of K-Fed at the mixing board is pure entertainment. The song sucks,and is exceptional only in its tedium, but you can tell K-Fed thinks it is the greatest thing he has ever heard.
    It is like wacthing a chimp at the zoo.
    A really retarded chimp.

  21. likesthedrama

    #20
    key word there is mary jane. she’s gotta be on something. she can’t even look at us.

  22. nauce00

    She just stands there because she can barely stand in her shoes, let alone walk or dance. Watch when she tried to walk the catwalk, it is clear she is not able to walk well in the heals.

    She is useless and talentless.

  23. NipsyHustle

    #9

    those earrings are called “doorknockers”. they were really popular with black inner city teens in the late 80′s. just like this beat she STOLE from 80′s all girl rap group “jj fad”. this sounds alot like their hit “supersonic” but considering that BEP’s first album was a total ripoff of De La Soul’s “3 Feet High and Rising” Album, I’m not surprised at the level of thievery these people put out. what surprises me is that they win grammys and make millions off of it.
    talentless hacks.

  24. I DID watch it, and it was ridiculous. She seemed to forget or flub the words, she was just standing there without moving. It was bizarre. Everything was slurred and she looked confused.

    In fact, pretty much everyone seemed to suck last night. I stopped watching in the middle someplace, because it was horrible. Except for The Fray! They were awesome.

  25. dreamhypnotique

    Pointing out that Fergie is stupid, talentless, annoying and has no right or reason to be rich and famous is like pointing out that Rolls Royces are expensive or that Don King has stupid hair or that Britney Spears has a shaved vagina.

  26. polypam

    NEVER WEAR HIGH HEEL SHOES WHILE PERFORMING HIP HOP! It looks lame and you can’t dance in them even if you try (see Knowles, Beyonce). Fergie looked like she was just trying to keep from falling down during that whole song.

  27. Gizmola

    Um…at least she didn’t pee on herself.

    Or did I miss that part?

  28. superstar

    That was awful. It was like she forgot how to rap so she stopped until she could catch her words back!
    And yes, at least she didn’t pee her pants and say it was sweat D:

  29. There is nothing delicious about Fergalicious which makes me a little suspicious. I guess what I’m trying to say is, the bitch has a penis……………

  30. catherine77

    Does anyone else remember a band back in the 80′s called JJ Fad…one hit wonder “Supersonic.” Sounds eerily familiar to this one….

  31. NipsyHustle

    #32

    thanks, captain obvious. see post 24.

  32. Courtney

    #26 – I’m pretty sure she waxed. And w0rd to #24.

  33. Where’s Fergie? All I see is a man resembling her

    http://www.celebslam.com

  34. Porcelyn

    was that supposed to be music or something?

  35. dreamhypnotique

    She looks really nervous, like the typical wigger who walks around “acting black” and who hangs around a few white-washed black kids at a suburban high school and he or she thinks that means they’re down, but then one friday night they go to a b’boying contest at a real hip hop club downtown and they realize what posers they are, and then they can’t wait to drive back to the suburbs in their $3,200 1991 Honda Civic hatchback (that dad paid for because she got A’s and B’s) and on Monday when you see them at school they’re all punk or emo and they act like they didn’t just flip flop on you and everyone is like WTF? and even the homeroom teacher is like “Damn, Fergie, you’re a fucking tool.”

  36. pixel killya

    Talentless hack is right. Every single thing they do has been lifted from someone’s earlier work. They don’t sit in a studio and create, they sit in a studio and listen to others work and then hack it.

  37. justlikehoney1

    I am at my desk in tears from laughing….that is hillarious! lmao That shit was terrible! lol

    #28- never ever mention Fergie’s name in the same sentence as Beyonce. She isn’t fit to shine B’s shoes! And just fyi, it’s definitely possible to wear high heels while performing a hip-hop song, dancing & singing your ass off & looking great while doing it…..check it out:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDCa67_sz68

  38. #37

    Periods are our friends. Embrace them.

    Thank you.

  39. KatBar

    #24 and #32, you are both right about the JJ Fad song. She is basically singing a botched up version of “Supersonic” — We can only hope she gets sued for it. This ho couldn’t sing her way out of a wet paper bag. Go away, Fergie. Please, just go away.

  40. CantLookBackWontLookBack

    I have to stick up for Fergie here. I mean, the girl can DANCE. She’s part of the BlackEyedPeas because she’s sexy and she has that thing about her that both men and women like. Granted, she’s sexy because of all of the surgery she’s had. Have you ever SEEN her Before & After photos? WOWEEEE.

    Anyway, Fergie has battled meth addiction a few times before. She has wet her pants in public ON STAGE. She has been blatantly drunk on stage. I mean, the girl has issues.

    MOVE, TIN-MAN. Fuck. Dance around, something. Just standing there makes you look extremely retarded, as well as the unfortunate choice in that stupid ass babydoll dress with the tule. Jesus. What a disaster.

  41. arden

    LOL, I thought it was awesome, helluva stage set up. And Fergie is always hot and has a wonderful sexy aura.

  42. machinegundolly

    i dont think it was horrible.
    buuuut. i think it was boring.
    annnnd. she missed part of her lyrics.
    she said “and if you were suspicious, all that shit is ficticious” every time instead of that AND “my body stay vicious, i be up in the gym just working on my fitness, he’s my witness.”

    i know her song better than she does. HAH

  43. CantLookBackWontLookBack

    #37, are you also retarded? Who the fuck actually goes around using the word WIGGER? I mean, yes, it’s out there but anyone with 5 fingers on each hand (counting the thumb)knows that it’s an ignorant word to use. Perhaps you should find another website? Dumbfuck.

  44. I am really tired of performers singing about how great they are. People who have to tell you how great they are really don’t have much to offer, they are too busy trying to convince you they are great.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  45. Bugman4045

    #45 1,2,3,4,5, Yep, they’re all there, yet I still find wigger to be an extremely useful and descriptive word.
    “Wigger” nails it, unlike cracker or white trash, which tend to have a southern inbred tinge. I think CantLookBack used it in the correct context.
    So why so sensitive?

  46. NipsyHustle

    #39

    i TOTALLY wish i had a penis and my name was Jay Z. after watching beyonce shake, shimmy, and wiggle i’m convinced it must be heaven having her in the sack.

    and as far as performing, she had on heels, crawled around on the floor, did the “back the africa” hip thrust, the running man, and was on a moving floor at one point ALL IN HEELS. beyonce’s milkshake is way better and maybe she can teach fergie something but she’ll have to charge.

  47. ImaCracka

    At least she didnt piss all over herself like she usually does….

    Hope she moves more in bed……..

  48. xtotheoh

    Although my grandmother is a better singer than Fergie, what the fuck was up with Gwen Stefani? Her yoodling performance scared the shit out of me.

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