Fergie and Josh Duhamel are Divorcing

After being married for eight years, Fergie and Josh Duhamel are getting a divorce. This is probably earth-shattering news to the dozen or so people who actually cared about either of them in the first place. Duhamel is basically just “the guy in the Transformers movies” now and Fergie is literally marketing her music directly to moms, so yea.

While there was never a huge, Pompeii-sized public blow up (not everyone is lucky enough to have a “fuel truck on the tarmac” moment), the couple just made two Christmases for their 4-year-old son, Axl, who was named after a sex dream Fergie had about Axl Rose or something. Sources are saying the same formulaic shit that every celebrity couple gets when they split, “(insert name) and (insert person who cheated) are respectfully parting ways, but are focusing on putting their child first and working together to (ignore that someone banged a model) ensure the child’s needs take priority.”

I did manage to find a little spice from a “source” at People, though. They seem to think that the couple are calling it quits because Josh Duhamel is a wet towel at parties…

A big factor is how different Fergie and Josh are,” the source added, explaining that Fergie is “fun and outgoing,” while Duhamel is “charming and relaxed.”

“In the beginning, it was what attracted them to each other and made them so fun to be around,” the insider said. “But they come from totally different backgrounds and they wanted different things.” (from People)

So there you have it, no more Fergie and Josh. I give it a month before she finds someone “more fun and outgoing” to handle these puppies while Josh relapses back into daytime TV irrelevance.