Superficial / August 24, 2004

Although she looks absolutely disgusting, I must admit that Fergie has a pretty bangin’ body (my lessons at gangster school are really paying off). Her abs are a little too ripped for my tastes, but I’m sure there are a lot of guys out there who dig that sort of thing. I really don’t understand what’s up with her skin and face though. She’s only 29 years old, but she’s got the wrinkles and textures of a 50 year old. Maybe she should lay off the tanning and invest a little in skin creams, because that skin is seriously frightening, along with everything else above her neck.