Feel Bad for Jennifer Love Hewitt

I must be drunk, because here’s a Jennifer Love Hewitt story dated after 1997. Apparently she had to push her Mini Cooper down the street in Los Angeles after a gas station attendant pocketed her gas money and didn’t fill her up. She explains,

I was on a very important conference call and I was in a dress so I thought, ‘I’ll let someone else put the gas in the car today.’ I never do that. I gave him $40 and I drove away. It never dawned on me to check he’d actually put the gas in the car. He pocketed my $40, never put gas in the car and I get to Robertson, the one street filled with paparazzi and I’m like, ‘Oh, it’s not going… This is not funny.’ I had to get out and I started pushing my Mini Cooper down the street.”

You know, for all the good things that happen to celebrities, it’s only fair that the bad things be to scale. Ok, so she got screwed out of $40 and ran out of gas – this leaves her only about $50 million richer than the rest of us. If she really wanted my sympathy the thief should have not only stolen $40, he should have sprayed gas over the car, set it on fire, grabbed Jennifer and sawed off three of her toes, taken pictures, and started up a website called JenniferTwoToes.com. Otherwise don’t even bother.