Farrah Abraham Is (Even More Of) A Stripper Now

The Superficial / August 14, 2014

Despite being a noted Christian author and purveyor of fine vulvic goods, somehow Farrah Abraham recently took a waitressing job at an Austin strip club where she mysteriously started taking her clothes off for money. It was the strangest thing and not like her at all. E! News reports:

“She was hired a couple of weeks ago as a cocktail waitress but wanted to make more money dancing, so they moved her up to the stage,” the insider dished. “She was on all three stages, the main stage and two side stages.”

But don’t worry, you guys, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for all this, and it’s Farrah Abraham is exactly like Jennifer Aniston. I already feel stupid for thinking it could be anything else. I should know better.

“I’m doing research,” the 23-year-old explains to E! News exclusively. “A friend of mine works there and I’m researching. I’ve been trying out all the roles that make up a gentleman’s club, including cocktailing and dancing. There’s management and there’s cooking too. It’s job shadowing that I hope pays off. In the same way Jennifer Aniston researched her role as a stripper, that’s what I’m doing. It’s how I get the information to write my books and do my movies. Unfortunately, I’m not free to talk about what those future projects may be. But I’m interested in hearing all the women’s stories. And while I’m doing it, I’m getting paid. I’m getting paid to play a role and get informed.”

See? She’s doing research. Everything checks out. Because if there’s one thing I know about Farrah Abraham, it’s that she’s deeply vested in her characters and doesn’t botch softball questions about them because they were actually written by a ghostwriter. Also, she’s a millionaire, so it’s not like she needs the money or anything. She’s blowin’ all the haters away. Just blowin’ them all away. And in the dick because the first rule of stripping is secretly be a hooker, too. You should probably write that one down. — Oh, you forgot your notebook? You keep mental notes? — A photographic memory? Wow! You know, I’ve always suspected.

Photos: Splash News, Xposure/AKM-GSI