Christian Author Farrah Abraham Wants You To Buy Her Pocket Pussy

July 14th, 2014 // 91 Comments

You probably know Farrah Abraham from her upcoming book on Christian parenting, so you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that like most Christ-loving authors, she also has a line of erotic sex toys which she launched over the weekend by licking them right in the rubber vulva. A move she learned from none other than T.D. Jakes. Or was it Max Lucado? Either way, remembering my parents’ bookshelf is fun!

Here’s the “Full On” version which I’ll assume attaches to your garden hose for an authentic squirting experience. (Be sure to detach during the winter months to avoid unwanted pipe bursting. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!)

Farrah Abraham Sex Toy

 

I have no idea what a “Grip-On Stroker” is or does, but you can honestly put anything in a child’s stocking, and they’ll love it. They just like unwrapping things.

Farrah Abraham Sex Toy

 

And finally the “Backdoor Entry” so you can relive that magical moment when Farrah Abraham went on a real, live date with a male porn star and went, “Let me get the lube,” while a professional camera crew set up the lighting for their sex tape that wasn’t a porno complete with a sequel. You know, for the off chance your normal dates don’t end like that which almost all of them do. Let’s be realistic.

Farrah Abraham Sex Toy

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s going to sell the shit out of those sex toys because banging those will for once feel better than boning the actual person they are modeled upon.

  2. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    the observer
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks so happy in those pictures……

  3. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    BbyBluThghHghs
    Commented on this photo:

    She is one classy broad.

  4. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I had never before imagined what the crowd at a Farrah Abraham sex toy release party would look like.
    This seems about right…

  5. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Back pain
    Commented on this photo:

    I would not hit either one

  6. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Back pain
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this item sold at walmart?

  7. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Back pain
    Commented on this photo:

    Have a few more bitch the pain will pass

  8. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Back pain
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhh! The people of walmart have arrived

  9. Motorboat Captain

    Even Jesus wouldn’t stick his dick in that.

  10. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Nerdy
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know… I remember her vagina and it doesn’t look like that. Hers look like that carnivore plant at Little shop of horror

  11. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    how bad is this woman going to age since she already looks like she is sixty years old

  12. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d lick that plastic pussy and her pussy. She might be a lying piece of shit, but she does anal and squirts. Nobody’s perfect.

  13. You know… I’m starting to think that this young lady may in fact be a whore.

  14. Why would they make a sex toy that resembles Michael jacksons nose? And, if it´s an “exact replica” of her vagina, why is it not the size of a sleeping bag?

  15. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a TRANNY

  16. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you pay extra for the STD, or is it standard?

  17. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    So, once you put your loose change in, do you have to wait another month to get it back?

  18. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    some black dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure we could all have her actual vagina for free but I’m pretty sure none of us want that either

  19. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Garter straps are for THIGH HIGHS. She’s so fucking stupid, she doesn’t even know how to properly wear lingerie.

  20. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Lala
    Commented on this photo:

    OMFG that woman! Jeez

  21. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Me
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does her head look like a football with hair?

  22. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Judd
    Commented on this photo:

    what a loser and a skank!!!

  23. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Butt Lingerie Sex Toy Release Party
    Ina
    Commented on this photo:

    That implant looks like it’s trying to escape

  24. bill

    I bought her pocket pussy along with a few others from vibrator showroom Her pocket pussy is by far the worst. Loose and floppy. The others were awesome.

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