Farrah Abraham Found Legitimate Acting Work, Good Feelings Gone

August 29th, 2013 // 29 Comments
Farrah Abraham Days Of Our Lives Audition
WATCH: Farrah Abraham's 'Days Of Our Lives' Audition
There's Hope For The World
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Farrah's Reality Show Got Canceled Read More »

Dear Casting Aficionado at Days of Our Lives,

Exactly eight days ago I created what’s called a CMP, the fancy little button widget in the right hand side of this post, titled “There’s Hope For The World” because at the time there was hope for the world thanks to Teen Mom turned porn star Farrah Abraham‘s reality show being cancelled.

You have stolen that hope from the world.

According to Hollywood Life, you allegedly watched Farrah’s audition tapes and said to yourself, “Now there’s the perfect person to play Hooker #3: Destiny even though this butthose literally had the balls to audition for a lead part. Seriously, a lead part? Her last production was pretending her first dates start with anal, and no one believed it. Though secretly they wanted to because imagine such a world…”

So, listen, there’s a way things work, and those ways are Farrah Abraham doing porn then plummeting straight into obscurity and/or dying of AIDS. In either order. Instead, you’ve validated her every squirt, and I don’t want to hear that five years down the road she really will be a hooker named Destiny anyway because now you’ve affected the time stream. I can’t even step outside now because Hitler could be a mailman, so thank you for that.

Hail President Dinosaur!

- The Superficial

UPDATE: Good work.







Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. ruckus

    I would rather watch Crispin Glover as the new Batman, then see or hear her ever again.

  2. JC

    That was even worse than I expected. I know that soap opera dialog isn’t the highest form of art, but is it really nothing but saying “Shit!” and muttering “ohmagod!” under your breath?

    I’m assuming at this point that most of the daytime viewing audience is made up of other teenage mothers who fantasize about getting into reality TV and/or porn, so this might not be the worst casting decision in terms of $$.

  3. Deacon Jones

    I just suffered a violent seizure about half way through

  4. JC

    Also, I think we all need to e-mail her (watch the intro to the first video) and tell her we have a role for “Camel-faced Bitch #2″ that we’d like her to audition for.

  5. Hedgehog

    She could have made more money from porn if she had paced herself.
    Start off slow and after about the fifth video end with anal and squirting.
    It’s like jumping to the end of a book to find out the killer was the butler.

  6. I dunno, it was good, but lacked the depth of her first tape…especially around the 25:47 mark. Get it? Depth? I mean in her ass!

  7. Cock Dr

    I swore an oath I would never click on another of this dumb slut’s video clips….never ever ever ever ever.

  8. Shoot me now....

    I wonder if this is just HOPEFULLY a bad rumor…… Because this was an audition for a part for One Life To Live. And that part was filled. So maybe she’ll get a one day part on Days….. But from an audition tape that was sent to One Life To Live??? I’m praying not!

  9. richie

    so hot that bad acting is irrelevant.

  10. Look out, Emmy Awards. Here comes Farrah. First the Emmy Awards, then the Oscars, then the WORLD…Bwahahahahahaha…

  11. The Dude

    1.) Was that Meryl Streep??

    2.) They still do soap operas?

  12. She needs to just stick with porn. She’s already got years of experience making scripted fakeness appear real, which gives her a leg up and over some dude’s shoulder compared to regular porn stars.

  13. Jesus Murphy… I’ve watched a great deal of porn with significantly better acting and delivery of dialogue.

  14. It’s a fucking daytime soap opera. The acting in most porno movies is better than that.

  15. Does she really think that by sending them an audition tape and then saying she has a part is going to pressure the folks at Days of Our Lives to give her a part?

    Yeah, she probably is that stupid.

  16. Dr.J

    Uhhhhhhhhh. Like, 1) you might want to print out your lines onto a piece of paper instead of reading them off your phone, because they’ll be bigger and easier to read, and therefore your audition might not seem like you’re like a dead person reading an overdue library book list. And 2) never NEVER speak your email, or website or whatever weird address was you were repeating like some reading off their serial number heading into the gas chamber. Liiiike, write it down or hold up a card or something.

  17. kaycee

    She needs to stop it. Now. Stop her sloppy aims at stardom and focus on raising her child. Actually, she should give Sophia up for adoption at this point to a decent family that will raise her right, give her a chance at a normal life. This is harsh for me but this girl has struck my last nerve. She’s heinous at life, straight up.

  18. There is just no possible way that Farrah will get that part. Apparently nobody told her that they no longer do anal on Days of Our Lives.

  19. Kristy

    Wait … So Farrah Abraham made an audition tape where she gets paid to have sex with dudes and surfs a sugar daddy site looking for some schmuck to set her up for life under the guise of “taking care of her child” all the while walking around acting like a snotty, bitchy, entitled asshole who has no talent whatsoever?

    Funny, I thought acting meant you were playing someone you’re NOT.

  20. Recoil

    Is sweeps week coming up soon?That’s the only reason I could ever imagine anyone wanting to cast this talentless turd in anything other than porn.Getting desperate are we?Imagine that daytime soaps recruiting from the porno industry to boost ratings.

  21. Bob

    She was reading the script from a cell phone? She really wants people to think she’s as dumb as a box of rocks, doesn’t she?

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