So Celebrity Big Brother Is Just Porn Now?

I have no clue what goes on in Celebrity Big Brother, aside from people getting locked in a house rigged up with cameras in every room, but that sounds like the perfect recipe for forced amateur porn. (Easy, Jared.) So it would seem this season is something of an All-Star championship since they cast Farrah Abraham, Jenna Jameson, and Tila Tequila. And if you think that’s a terrible generalization of these women, Fish wanted me to refer to them as Buttsquirts The Camel, Pamela Anderson’s Corpse, and Phone Sex Midget Hitler With Tits.

Tila Tequila

“Hiiii! If I die in here, the Jews did it! Mwah!

Jenna Jameson

“Jenna, you look fanta- FUCK SHE’S GOT HALF MY ARM ALREADY! WE TRAINED FOR THIS! WE TRAINED FOR THIS!!”

Farrah Abraham

*squirt* Whoops! *squirt* Whoops! *squirt* Whoops!

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Photo: Getty, AKM-GSI