I’ve yelled a lot of random angry crap at a lot of people on my TV screen over the years, but I never imagined that I’d hit the nail on the head with, of all things, “Get off my screen, you illiterate fucks!”
But maybe I’m more perceptive than I think, because American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino has come out and said, “You got me!”
“American Idol” winner Fantasia Barrino reveals in her memoirs that she is functionally illiterate and had to fake her way through some scripted portions the televised talent show, which she won in 2004.
“You’re illiterate to just about everything. You don’t want to misspell,” Fantasia told ABC’s “20/20.” “So that, for me, kept me in a box and I didn’t, wouldn’t come out.”
First of all: “You’re illiterate to just about everything”? What else can you be illiterate to other than words? My guess is nothing, but maybe I only know that because I can read stuff. Like dictionaries. Second: The article mentions that she dropped out of high school, and, um, I’m no Jean Piaget, but isn’t reading a skill they need you to master in, like, elementary school? So how did she even get to high school? In fact, how did she get to be famous for singing songs she can’t read the lyrics to? I’m thinking somebody really dropped the ball on this one. And that somebody? Is America.