Everyone Who’s a Fan of Marilyn Monroe, Close Your Eyes For a Second

August 11th, 2010 // 97 Comments

Paris Hilton pumped up her cutlets and dolled herself up as Marilyn Monroe last night to launch a new fragrance that, for the sake of consumer awareness, is hopefully named Veneria. On that note, Adrian Grenier also showed up which really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. As Doug Reinhardt can attest to, once you’ve been tainted by the source, you can only return to it for pleasure. And, look at that, I just wrote the tagline.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Soowrong

    White is just sooo wrong for Paris

    • marilyn was gifted in the body dept (tho not by todays standards maybe), but she was a flippin nitwit and couldn’t act. i can see how paris can relate.

      not that bardot was a rocket scientist but she smoked marilyn in all categories. and didn’t waste herself when things got rough.

      • Sugar

        Marilyn wasn’t a great actress but she had tons of charisma–the likes of which I haven’t seen in any modern “starlet” in a very long time.

  2. Marnie

    When I first saw this picture I thought it was about her getting a new wax figure at Madame Tussaud’s. I mean, look at her.

  3. FAIL ! How much pain is she in pushing those a-cups to try to make them remotely look like C’s? Marilyn was smokin hot back in the day ! You can’t make a wafer look like a chocolate cake.

  4. sean

    I like to lick and have sex with 12 year old boys.

  5. Sugar

    Carol Channing?

  6. She tries so hard……and fails so miserably.
    This get up looks terrible & ages her by a couple decades. It bewilders me that companies continue to PAY her to endorse their products & events. That gets business? Seems to me that most people would make it a point NOT to buy anything affiliated with this bimbo.

    • Mary Jane

      Yeah she looks SO old and honestly this entire post is an insult to Marilyn I’m going to go crawl back in bed and wait for tomorrow..

  7. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh God, those legs and feet are not only a different shade, they are also at least a decade or two older than the rest of her!

  8. Vandal

    She looks like she’s in her 60s trying to look young with plastic surgery. What a fuckin’ mess.

  9. Paris Hilton
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody tell Paris she looks fat.

  10. Rhialto

    Is this a wax statue or is it a window dummie?

    • Nero

      I’d recognize Paris Hilton’s square masculine jawline.

      • Kelley

        Gross, eh ? Surprised she hasn’t had that surgery yet … maybe eventually … she is going to be some ugly when she gets older and the surgery will become more and more frequent … like Priscilla Presley who can barely talk due to the cheek implants and Botox.

  11. Rough the new blaq

    Since I’m feeling biblical today…

    Let him who wouldn’t bang a big feet slut cast the first stone…

    This is from a recently found missing page, in the kings James version.

  12. SnookieWookieCookieBookie

    I want to punch this cunt in the side of the head. But enough about Adrian Grenier, let’s talk about Hilton now.

  13. M

    Her feet are bigger than that douche’s she is standing next to.

  14. Just A Horny Dude

    For a chick who has small tits, she really can plump them up. She may be a skanky socialite, but I’d screw her any night of the week.

  15. Lisa

    She looks pregnant in some of these pics. Now that’s a scary thought.

  16. Darth

    She’s the trailer trash variant of Marilyn Monroe.

  17. anon

    she looks like a walking corpse.

    age is not creeping up on her but has announced itself publicly and kicked her ass.

  18. Rhialto

    Her wonderbra must be looking like a worn out rag by now.

  19. Poptart

    Looks like big bird with lipstick!

  20. Internet

    She has the same exact birdnose as my girlfriend.

  21. g-moonie

    There’s an even better reason why Adrian is hanging with that vapid skank – he’s an even bigger douche nozzle in person than he is on Entourage…. Ya gotta feel for any “Vince” groupies though – it can’t be fun going down on his uncut, unwashed dick only to come across some year-old Paris cheese…… Yeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkk!!!

  22. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    Tell me in that third photo she’s not impersonating a sex doll. Go on, try.

  23. Paris Hilton
    lady poo poo
    Commented on this photo:

    ewwwww, she looks like a drag queen! Complete to the fucking t !

  24. Paris Hilton
    lady poo poo
    Commented on this photo:

    They really make a cute couple= total losers who want to hold on to any fame status. I hope these two rot from their std’s.

  25. Paris Hilton
    lady poo poo
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess? She uses her nose to rail Adrian’s hairy asshole?

    come on, it has to be!

  26. JonnyCoolJeans

    ZOMG! i totally thought that was a really bad wax figure until i started reading.

  27. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    how does she do it? on pic huge tits, next one, no tits?!?!?!? that must be a work from the devil

  28. Mal Gusto

    Up close, she looks like a tranny.

  29. Viv

    Paris is a bussiness woman, her fragrances have been on the market for years and they sell worldwide too. Being discustingly rich as she is, she surely gives a damn f….k about what people say about her.

    Even if she did give a f…k, es mejor llorar en un palacio que llorar en la calle

    • And I’m sure she’s saying thank you to you right now for sticking up for her. I’m sure your checks in the mail too so get out there and wait for the postman !

  30. oooaaahhh

    I didn’t know MM had huge, bony flipper feet!

  31. mememe


  32. PissingWillow


  33. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris wishes she looked like Marilyn.

  34. Maeby

    haha she looks pregnant. oh dear god she’s not pregnant is she??

  35. Veneria

    I love you Superficial, but Veneria is a real name. My name in fact. It’s spanish. Please don’t equate wart lips here to me. It makes me sad. K Thanks Bye.

  36. Mary Jane

    PARIS I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. xtina

    the rough legs, dry, knobby. her torso is way to long for her body, shortens her, and she has developed a belly. the make-up and hair are horrendous.

  38. OB

    Maybe she meant to call it venereal

  39. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    i hate her.

  40. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    ewwww where did her butt go? it looks pathetc

  41. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s rich-can’t she get someone who knows what they are doing to spray tan? That looks like she did it herself. Awful.

  42. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    Good Lord, even Jack Klugman could look like Marilyn Monroe when that much makeup is involved. I am guessing old Paris had to order the stuff by the pound to get things this far.

  43. Howard

    I understand the new fragrance will have top notes of vodka and spooge, and base notes of Valtrex and rancid tuna.

  44. jubilee

    Y.U.C.K ! ! ! ! !

  45. *GOD-DAMN*. I wonder what evil aristocratic bloodline this unsexy vampire descends from, which affords her so much press and prestige? Anyway, Marilyn Monroe was a Jewish stripper who received her start in Hollywood thanks to none other than Anton Lavey. Soon after, she became a mind-controlled sex slave for the government.

    “For a chick who has small tits, she really can plump them up. She may be a skanky socialite, but I’d screw her any night of the week.”

    You should leave the house more often.

  46. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she did some lines

  47. sasha

    I really thought this was a man. She looks at least 50. And hard.

  48. JustAReader

    Que fiera esta esta mujer por Dios!

  49. Why?!?!?!? Why didn’t I close my eyes?!?!

Leave A Comment