Even I’m Offended By This

Because the paparazzi always hang out in LASIK eye surgery waiting rooms, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee thought it’d be hilarious if she pretended to lick a magazine photo of Sandra Bullock. You know, because ruining her marriage wasn’t enough. And it’s shit like this that makes me pray to a God I don’t even believe in for exactly three things to happen:

1. Charlie Sheen has AIDS but won’t wear a condom because he’s Charlie Sheen.
2. Kat Von D turns out to be secretly Jewish.
3. PR Baby knows the location of Hitler’s gold, but will only tell Mommy.

If that’s not enough to make Jesse James and Herr Fuhrer’s Fuckbox above wish they never combined tattooed genitals, I’m willing to toss Oksana Grigorieva off a bridge in exchange for Mel Gibson revoking their SS benefits package. Or solicit a blonde hair, blue-eyed hooker to blow him. His call.

Photos: Pacific Coast News