These are come crazy ass topless pics of Eva Mendes in the latest issue of Vogue Italia. All I know is, I’m moving to Italy and stocking my house full of Eva Mendes’ Boobs/Drink Trays. Where do I pick something like that up? Pier 1? Or this more of an IKEA item? I get most of my furniture from the junk yard. People laughed when I made a bed out of old washing machines. But who’s laughing now? Me! And not just because of the tetanus.
Thanks to Selene who doubles as a sexy armoire.
NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions that, even uncensored, are some bizarro shit.
Photos: Huffington Post, Vogue Italia
FRIST!!! | May 13, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Holy Frick!!! I’m scared! Scared and….bored..
Mama Pinkus | May 13, 2008 at 12:50 pm
I normally think she’s a decent looking gal but these pics are kinda skankish.
pistola | May 13, 2008 at 12:50 pm
this woman is BEAUTIFUL!… no matter what freaky shit she does during photoshoots.
Johnny Cash | May 13, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Whats with all the celebrities going topless lately
veggi | May 13, 2008 at 12:52 pm
In the words of the weird russian singing guy from clerks, thats berserker..
Photographer | May 13, 2008 at 12:55 pm
No offense to the pro who did this shoot, but he/she really brought out the ugly in Eva. She naturally gives off a shemale vibe because of her face, so harsh settings are a no-no. Unless the goal is to get the trannies’ tiny penises all uppity.
Mitch | May 13, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Nice thighs. I’d say she’s squatting 200-250, sets of 10.
GalPal | May 13, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Another foot photo. I’m thinking Eva has a foot fetish and this photo shoot is letting her get it all out. But women’s feet can be very hot, so no complaints here!
hot mess | May 13, 2008 at 1:01 pm
DANG! Get your freak on Eva! I have to admit I am jealous, though. She managed to look MUCH better than I did when I fell into my lawn chair.
Stupid Guy | May 13, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I’m shocked, just shocked! I thought she was a nice girl!
havoc | May 13, 2008 at 1:02 pm
#6 ditto
.
hot mess | May 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm
In her corset photo she seems to have a huge dong.
…can’t…suppress…conflicting…feelings…
boobs? dong? boobs? dong? oh ferget it, i’m going back to jess
Toon | May 13, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Ditto @8. And don’t miss the photo of her belly down pulling on her heels. If she doesn’t have a foot fetish she’s definitely gaming with the photographer.
Simplicity | May 13, 2008 at 1:11 pm
How is sucking your own toes, hot??
She looks rediculous.
Gia | May 13, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Any images of sexy men or women make me want to have sex. I’m not gay or bi-sexual, but I just love sex. I have to go back to work now and clear my mind of sex.
GalPal | May 13, 2008 at 1:18 pm
@15. Feet rank as the number one fetish at least for men whether people are willing to admit it or not. Feet can be very sexy, so why not watching her play with her own feet?
Jimbo | May 13, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Looks like she’s ready for my new specialty, the Cocktail Glass Steamer.
RENEE | May 13, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Blech, she’s so ugly. And showing her chompin on her toes just is so not hot.
fygu | May 13, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Overrated
Jimbo | May 13, 2008 at 1:20 pm
@18 Wow, where have you been troll? My steamer troll has not been around in months. Did they just let you out of the looney bin?
S. Freud | May 13, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Hi 16, let me help clear your mind. Relax now, imagine you are spelunking down a cave. Maybe imagine a train roaring through a tunnel. Picture a nature scene, like Old Faithful blowing off. Better yet you should run an errand. Does your gas tank need to be filled? If all of that fails enjoy a healthy banana for a snack.
veggi | May 13, 2008 at 1:27 pm
It’s been so humid in my apartment the last few days. Last night I let loose a jihad-worthy SBD in my living room and when I walked in there this morning, I could still smell it! Talk about a bunker-buster…
Jimbo | May 13, 2008 at 1:28 pm
#21 – yes, they did. I was hospitalized for convulsions due to continuous orgasming, but finally they showed me your picture and it all stopped instantly.
Bob Impanze | May 13, 2008 at 1:30 pm
LOL @ the Superfish. Welcome to last week.
OnlyGayEskimo | May 13, 2008 at 1:32 pm
She is GORGEOUS – in that “I-don’t-know-if-shes-a-woman-or-just-a-damn-good-tranny” sort of way. She reminds me of a Carmen Miranda impersonator that can actually pull it off – there is a fine line between striking and masculine, and she is standing on that line in her gigantic heels.
Jimbo | May 13, 2008 at 1:33 pm
@24 I thought it was you troll. When are we going to go to dinner??
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | May 13, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Hey Fish, can you tell me where you bought your time machine? I read this shit days ago. I had fucking amazing sex that day and I’d like to relive the experience. Ok, fine, I jerked off, but still, it was awesome…
Gia | May 13, 2008 at 1:37 pm
#19
Maybe she had a hangnail lol!
asdf | May 13, 2008 at 1:39 pm
OLD pictures are OLD.
Auntie Kryst | May 13, 2008 at 1:39 pm
These photos are about as daring as an Italian war hero..
veggi | May 13, 2008 at 1:40 pm
#23. You’re a fucking weirdo man..
ph7 | May 13, 2008 at 1:41 pm
She looks like a young Muhammad Ali in pic #7.
scarletpoppies | May 13, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Channeling Bourdin, Newton and Crewdson in an especially riveting way….
Harry Ballzack | May 13, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Nice tits …. but the woman really needs to trim up that muff !! She looks like she has a mans package there
Jimbo | May 13, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Veggi, That is my steamer troll. She has just gotten out of the looney bin. You remember who my steamer troll was don’t you??
Jade | May 13, 2008 at 1:57 pm
So Vogue Italia = porn?
I mean.. I’ve seen plently american Vogue magazines.. but these pics look like something I’d see in porn mags.
veggi | May 13, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I’d love to sniff the snail trail on that couch.
veggi | May 13, 2008 at 2:01 pm
yeah Jimbo… the brotherfucker, right??
38- you’re amazingly uninteresting..
hot mess | May 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm
dang! that snail trail thang was nastaaaay…i am still laughing, but it’s nastay!
Rachel | May 13, 2008 at 2:05 pm
#38 – agreed! Licking her on that couch is my new fantasy!
disillusionisreal | May 13, 2008 at 2:10 pm
What the heck kinda chair is that? Needs a chain and to be hangin’ from the ceiling if you as me!
Dy | May 13, 2008 at 2:19 pm
If you’re going topless in Vogue at least do it looking “elegant”, not trashy. This is a surprise from Eva; I always considered her to be sophisticated. Aparently not.
SMD. | May 13, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Why do woman always show their stuff? But we never hear about GUYS flashing their junk. Or their nice asses. Us straight women/gay men would like to see some fine guys flashing their goodies. Sure, so many pictures of random celebs out there topless and/or flashing their vagina. But that’s for straight men/lezs. I want some MEN! That is all.
Erica | May 13, 2008 at 2:23 pm
She is a very beautiful woman. But damn she looks hideous in these.
Here ya go, SMD | May 13, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Very fair criticism! You don’t see them here, but there are plenty of pics online of celeb guys flashing.
OC Dee | May 13, 2008 at 2:29 pm
#46
Yikes! What kind of surgery are they performing on this mans cock?
veggi | May 13, 2008 at 2:30 pm
46- elephentitis in the title of your link would prove you to be a, as FRIST!!! coined earlier, buttmunch..
That you mike??
Mia | May 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm
So, “veggi”, you hang out here all day and bitch at other commenters? Awesome.
Mia | May 13, 2008 at 2:33 pm
#47
It looks like a sex change operation. I once saw a documentary called Who Am I on HBO where this guy got a sex change operation and decided at the last minute not to get it, but he was already drugged and could not talk. Now he is trying to get disability as a mutilated male.
HuckyDucky | May 13, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Did he say “making fuck”?