TMZ revealed today that Eva Mendes is in rehab battling a substance abuse problem:
We’re told the “Ghost Rider” star is at the famous Cirque Lodge, near Sundance. The Lodge, which treated Lindsay Lohan and other stars, is one of the most respected treatment facilities in the country.
Eva has been at Cirque for several weeks.
Her addiction? My guess is ass-patting. I had a problem with it myself. It was really affecting my work. I mean, I would pat anyone’s ass. My secretary, random co-workers, Ted in Accounting. Also the copying machine. Oh, that copying machine. Such a tight buttocks on that one… But, anyway, I got some help and I think I’m better for it. Best of luck to Eva.
loola | February 1, 2008 at 12:47 pm
FIRST
UCrawford | February 1, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Isn’t she pregnant?
combustion8 | February 1, 2008 at 12:47 pm
cokehead
combustion8 | February 1, 2008 at 12:49 pm
she’s showing us where they removed the stetchmarks with photoshop.
D. Richards (Nutsac.) | February 1, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Jesus I’d like to bury my face between her asscheeks.
I’d promise her prescription drugs (Oxycontin) and really cheap alcohol (Maddog), just for a whiff.
Zim | February 1, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Judging by her face, she’s addicted to testosterone.
Heroiny | February 1, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Another one bites the dust.
LL | February 1, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I’m thinking of becoming a drunk or a junkie (I haven’t decided which yet, they’re both tempting, but I don’t think I have time to do both) just so I can go to rehab and have everyone applaud me for my bravery. I mean, I’m too old to go to Iraq or become a cop or a firefighter, plus I’m a tiny little wuss. Compulsive substance abuse sounds like just the ticket.
If anyone wants to offer their input on either drinking or drugging, please feel free. I’m making my PRO and CON lists now.
The Laughing God | February 1, 2008 at 1:04 pm
She ate from the food pellet bowl at her local PETA chapter. One bite is all it takes!!
The Laughing God | February 1, 2008 at 1:06 pm
My guess is that she ate from the pellet bowl at her local PETA chapter. One bite is all it takes!!
sunny | February 1, 2008 at 1:07 pm
yuck she looks like a man/tranny trying to be sexy. TRYING. *barf*
graciiie | February 1, 2008 at 1:09 pm
DAMN. i thought she was so… uh…. wholesome…..
ph7 | February 1, 2008 at 1:11 pm
She looks like a maid who cleans the room at the lodge.
Jimbo | February 1, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Eva has checked in the Jimbo rehab center where she is getting all of the personal attention she needs.
Matilda | February 1, 2008 at 1:15 pm
“Rehab”??? What’s that? Dad, do you know? Dad???
Jeff | February 1, 2008 at 1:16 pm
When did it become OK for women to wear Smurf hats?
Lola | February 1, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I don’t think she was pregnant, that was probably a beer baby. I am in my 2nd trimester….
hehe… ass-patting. Awesome.
Erica | February 1, 2008 at 1:22 pm
WTF? I didn’t even think she was an addict.
Ehh, just goes to show you I guess.
Auto-Erotic-Asphixiation | February 1, 2008 at 1:29 pm
# 8 —– who are you again ?
RENEE... | February 1, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Hmmm, I never could stand her and could care less about her, but this one is a surprise to me; never saw it coming. She seemed like she would be the type to be livin clean, save for the occassional glasses of wine or something…and weren’t there recent rumors of her being preggers? Well, I guess maybe some good will come of Heath’s death…maybe it scared others into getting helped. As bad as it is to say, I still wish it was one of the others that bit the dust, instead of Heath.
Dr Phil McGraw PhD | February 1, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Dear TheSuperficial:
Your use of the term “Ass-patting” is misleading.
The correct technical term is “gluteal affirmation.” or “GA” Trained professionals like myself complete this therapeutic maneuver with a skillful squeeze and the words “Yippy Cay Ay Hooah Hooah” to make the patient feel more at ease.
The trained eye can see that Eva has not had professional GA training but would clearly benefit from this therapy. Moreover, squirrel, you gotta to know that skunks don’t shit apple pie just because it’s raining. Stop fantasizing about buttocks of a caliber you will never know.
Sincerely,
Dr. Phil
FRIST!!! | February 1, 2008 at 1:33 pm
#8, only become a junkie if you can afford it. It sucks to run out..
Jen | February 1, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I hope she can get over her addiction to being an extremely bad actress.
RichPort | February 1, 2008 at 1:35 pm
#15 – HAHAHAHAHAHA…
Her last name is Mendes, which means she’s likely a drug mule. A condom full of coke probably burst in her stomach, which caused her to be hospitalized and made the doctors assume she was an addict. See? There’s an easy explanation to everything. Whew! At least she’s not an addict.
TCLTC
fergernauster | February 1, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Hmmmmm… I dunno, Clark… probably not a junkie, but a wino. Probably likes the red wine a wee bit too much, know what I’m sayin’?
That’s my take.
lipper | February 1, 2008 at 1:42 pm
WWMKD?
All I have to ask.
fergernauster | February 1, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Then again… PETA does this to people. Turns them into raving, drinking, drugging loonies.
Just ask Pam Anderson.
Jimbo | February 1, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Pam should join PETT. She has distroyed hers..
Mal Reynolds | February 1, 2008 at 1:56 pm
#8 I say go with the drugs, preferably uppers. You get a lot of stuff done when you’re high, you lose weight and look good (for a few months anyway), and you can control how fast (and soon) you want to get to rehab. I suggest the powder cocaine and amphetamine (pill) route. Very upscale still. By contrast, crack cocaine and meth amphetamine (snorting/shooting) will take you down fast and it won’t be pretty. Good luck! Keep us posted.
mrs.t | February 1, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Methinks I smell a publicists foul stench around this one…who needs some attention? Hmmm, Eva Mendes, you say? Put her in rehab.
Then again, she could just be a good, old-fashioned cokehead.
Pablo Escobar | February 1, 2008 at 2:06 pm
She was my best mule!!! I will miss you honey, there’s always a job for you when you return. Shit, now I have to use that skinny bitch Richie!
gert | February 1, 2008 at 2:16 pm
you are kidding ………….
Nicole | February 1, 2008 at 2:42 pm
She reminds me of amy winehouse, BEFORE amy became what she is now
1 MILF Hunter | February 1, 2008 at 3:29 pm
She had a sexual addiction for me, but I’m willing to let her go.
Lila | February 1, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Isn’t she pregnant?? What the hell is she doing messing with drugs/pills or even alcohol? Some people are just stupid…
Alan | February 1, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Can they do something about her ugly ass face?
Ass Pattie | February 1, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Ass fat get lonely when me no gets pattie.
InternetToughGuy | February 1, 2008 at 6:53 pm
She was/is pregnant. I bet she just wants to have the baby in secrecy/privacy and this is the cover story.
Rocknrope | February 1, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Oh for fock’s sake, is everyone in Hollywood on drugs? Wait, don’t answer that.
andyalsg | February 1, 2008 at 9:13 pm
she is really hot. I am a fan of her. It’s said she recently joined a celebrity and millionaire dating site named “Searching Millionaire dot com”. Many men winked at her there. But I did not find her when I joined it. So sad
rudyboy | February 1, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Eva- Thos eyes !!
Also,I want to warn all Democrats and/or our OBAMA supporters…The Republican’s are out to get us…They have found one of OBAMA”s college room mates (now a Republican) and as soon as OBAMA wins the Democatic nomination- they are going to pull a “Lewinski” on the American public…apperently OBAMA’s old roomie will admit to the PRESS that he witnessed OBAMA dealing Cocaine to more than a few of his close friends in their dorm room!!!…The Republican’s hope to sway the independent vote and the undecidedes… They are betting that the fallout will put John Mc Cain over the top and will win him election for President…we have to fight this nasty PLOY!!!
Mamachick | February 2, 2008 at 2:42 am
Remember back in the day when girls went away to “visit a sick aunt” for nine months? Eva’s been looking pretty puffy lately, and now off to rehab? Hmmm.
hotbiggirl | February 2, 2008 at 3:41 am
It seems that she is want to naked. Maybe want to attract attention from others or……If you want to broswe many girls with the hot body, go to check this club bbwconnect.com. There are so many hot videos by those hot girls and….
Kristina | February 2, 2008 at 3:59 am
PUBLICITY STUNT.
Seriously, who was talking about her until now? Rehab is the new fake relationship in terms of press attention.
sweet jesus | February 2, 2008 at 11:23 am
Seriously, this shocks me. What kind of a person would snort coke while pregnant? Fucking worthless celebrities.
sweet jesus | February 2, 2008 at 11:29 am
Oh, and #41, you’re fucking nuts.
lambman | February 2, 2008 at 2:49 pm
um this is random.
rudy | February 2, 2008 at 10:05 pm
love you Eva..
Also,I want to warn all Democrats and our OBAMA supporters…The Republican Right is out to get us again…They have found one of OBAMA”s college room mates (now a Republican) and as soon as OBAMA wins the Democatic nomination- they are going to pull “another Lewinski” on the American public…apperently OBAMA’s old roomie will admit to the PRESS that he witnessed OBAMA snorting & even dealing Cocaine to more than a few of his close friends in their shared dorm room!!!…The Republican’s hope to sway the independent vote and the undecidedes with this shocker… They are betting that the fallout will put John Mc Cain over the top and will win him election for President.
I think this may be a false rumour but Obama did admit his Cocaine Use and I think we have to take this admission by Obama very seriously…if it is true I don’t think the Republican’s are going to leave this Drug issue alone!!!
havamal | February 2, 2008 at 11:16 pm
Gotta get off that South Beach diet flown in daily from Columbia
Pathetic | February 3, 2008 at 4:09 pm
She’s not even that famous and she can’t handle it?