Eva Longoria wishes she was made of bronze

DM – You’re right. I hadn’t had my mocha when I typed that. You know I only have eyes for WisconSIN gurlz!

#44 & 48 – She’s in need of a moustache wax!

http://www.shareapic.net/content.php?id=316149&owner=blarg

hey, is fuck.monkey one word or two?

OK: one word r.e. the photo: fuck.monkey

I think she looks good except for…. the fake eyelashes… the ugly dress… and her hair looks like crap with the way the collar was designed on the dress…. but I like her shoes… but not with that…..

‘stache wax, brain?? Bitch needs a sideburn wax!!! I am horrified.

Now that I think of it, she looks like Gary Shandling in this picture…

#52 – nothings wrong with a bit of willy tickler :)
Actually thats gross – indeed she could do with a good old lip wax.

#52, Are you volunteering, Cuz I have something nice and soooo soft for you to wax!

Damn I am slutty today

Brain- the twenty-two inch monitor view was pretty scary. she is hairy indeedy.

58 – But you sound Pretty.. baby?

The slutty kind of pretty.

whites are attractive. minorities – yuck.

let’s make fun of a latina for having brown skin…hahahahahaha…that’s HILARIOUS…and by hilarious, I mean the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

@59 commissioner – At least there’s no hair in her nose!

That is one dumpy dress. Whoever decided that a too-long, brown, wrinkly satin dress with a cheesy plastic belt was the perfect look for a movie premiere needs to be fired. Now.

I don’t remember making fun of someone with brown skin, but I will rip on poochy-looking bitch with too much fake tanner and the remnants of a moustache. Even non-famous women have the just plain courtesy to nair once and a while.

#60 MMmmmmm… Intelligent men…

#61 HUH?!

One of my bosses leaned over my shoulder and looked at Eva’s pic and offered this golden nugget “I’d run one into her.”

Ta Ta Toothy.

Brain- no kidding.

Mr. Commissioner said once, “I’d throw some mule juice at ‘er”.

I did tell him if he ever referred to semen as “mule juice” again, it’d be a cold day in hell before I’d swallow.

#66 did he grind his dick on your back?

I will repeat what I said about Alyssa Milano several posts ago- I’d bend that over and introduce her to my UltraVibe 3000- but ONLY after I waxed the crack of her ass. Can’t have her shorty-n-curlies mucking up my battery-powered funstick!
Oh- Christian Bale + Hugh Jackman= a movie that will fuel my wet dreams for a month.

#69 Nice number

They always try, Always.

#70 Hey Darlin, do you know that this is another ethnic lady here NOT Alyssa Milano. But go on with you fantasy if you must….

I don’t see the problem.
She looks good, in these pictures.

I think soon celebs will just start spray painting themselves like in the movie Death Becomes Her.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com

I went to the salon the other day and said “I want to look like a piece of Horse Shit”. The beautician showed me a picture of Eva Longoria. I said, “no, not a shit-colored horse, a piece of horse shit”. We agreed on a picture of danielle’s mother.

she looks fine, what is wrong with you people?

Isn’t she Mexican ?
So, as opposed to English Beckham, isn’t that normal that Eva’s tanned ??

She looks like a Mexican dingleberry.
mmmmmmm
*shitty*

Yeah right, if you think that’s how she looks, you should see how she REALLY looks like here:

http://www.niquehappy.com/blog/2006/11/05/eva-longoria-without-makeup/

I’m pretty sure it’s “wishes she were…”

I’m pretty sure this has been covered, but she has a pretty sturdy/storm-proof ‘stache.

Tho, I’d still hit rock it like a hurricane.

And:

pale > disgustingly overly-tanned

Ugh.

http://chasingculture.com/liberty/index.php

Slater didn’t seem to mind hitting that a few weeks ago after dancin his star away.

He fucked it up with the hot russian partner of his.

#29 – brain embolism – Are you saying that’s Eva Mendez? Because I could swear it’s Mary Louise Parker.

Skönflicka et al . . . yes, it’s perfectly normal for a person of Latin descent or origin to be brown. It’s NOT normal, however, for themto be ORANGE.

Brown does not equal orange.

Plus the shininess is weird.

Uh…I feel awful……I had to go home sick yesterday…..I think I have Longoria or something. My skin is all brown and splotchy and my clothes are hanging off of me, and I have a bizarre craving for Tamales.

I’m pretty sure she was born that color…or something at least close to it.

it’s not the skin tone per se, it’s that i associate it with somebody cleaning a toilet. so i’d let her give me a blumpkin. if she wants to get all dressed up for it, fine.

Shes a fug nasty untalented skank ho who makes Paris Hilton smell good.

she reminds me of the taco bell dog

Wow. Her hair must have taken HOURS.

*cough*

she is just not attractive to me.

LOL, this is way old, but I couldn’t resist.

I bet you all making bad comments are ugly as hell in reality! The girls are jealous and the guys are hermits. YOu guys are HATERS, cause you’ll never have what they have. The only thing attractive about Paris Hilton, is her money, but she’s still a little player that gets what she wants. Eva Mendez and Eva Longoria are way beyond you alls level. I can honestly only picture Yeti looking Sun reflecting apes talking out of lonliness and jealously. You guys put white people to shame. I wouldn’t doubt the majority of you all look like the characters from the HIlls Have Eyes!!….except very very white LOL

yeah, give her a few years…..she’s already old and over the hill