Eva Longoria wishes she was made of bronze

November 6th, 2006 // 93 Comments
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superficial

  1. mmbelle

    its probably partly b/c of the dress too but she does look really fake

  2. yasmin3000y

    shes got the victoria beckham hair-cut as=-well

  3. yasmin3000y

    * as-well

  4. Oh good, I was hoping someone would revive the monochromatic look last seen on Mariah Carey.

    http://glossedover.com

  5. yasmin3000y

    no wait she hasnt, the front jus looks like it,

  6. Tekniqz

    She still looks good in bronze.

  7. yasmin3000y

    last comment (promise) i bet you all hate me dont you

  8. biatcho

    Who could blame Christian Bale for looking like he wants to go all American Psycho on this pig in that last picture. I would pay to fund a sequel where he killed all of these spunkbuckets we spew about on the ‘fish everyday.

    *Note: And I would have sex with him. hard.

  9. llllllllll

    Her ‘head for the border taco face’ really irritates me. Am I the only one?

  10. PapaHotNuts

    She would look better in bronze with white splotches located near her neck and face, preferably on her lips.

  11. commissioner

    Her stylist should be fired. And if she doesn’t have one, she should be killed.

    Dress is too big, hair is too flat, lipcolor is awful. She’s no Eva Mendes, that’s for sure.

  12. KimberWolf

    It does look like Christian Bale is leering at her in the last pic.

  13. I
    Would
    Hit
    That

    I
    Would
    Hit
    That

    I
    Would
    Hit
    That

  14. pinky_nip

    It’s no wonder all these celeb guys are gay… all the chicks in hollywood look like drag queens.

  15. That was a lame excuse for a caption Mr Fish.

    For an ‘older’ lady, she looks doable.

  16. danielle

    melanin

  17. @10 – Are you talking about Popping-A-Hot-Nut on her?

  18. SonJaSpiCe

    Her shoes are tacky.

    But then again, so is her skin.

  19. Madrid Marriott

    Can’t blame her. She needs to be pretty tanned so that he mustache blends in.

  20. JoannieBalonie

    The shoes are way cute, but not with that dress. And she has too much mascara on her bottom lashes! And……she sure aint no Eva Mendes…….Try harder Bitch!

  21. commissioner

    I’m wearing those shoes today, with a black suit.

    I’ll be wearing the white splotches later, after seven.

  22. Tracie

    “Dress is too big, hair is too flat, lipcolor is awful. She’s no Eva Mendes, that’s for sure.”
    I agree, Commish. She’s trying her hardest, but it’s not just easy being a midget.

  23. Tracie

    “just not” – Duh!

  24. Ferret-

    Stop it right now, you know you wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole.
    Remember the pic of her without her makeup on? How can you expect to keep it up in the shower with a face like that?

    kisses

    -D.

  25. i’ve never understood the big deal about her. she has no chest, and in this pic she looks like a walk-on part for Star-Trek:In Search of Splooge.

  26. p.s. what a bitch trying to steal victoria’s look. I would pop a cap in her ass….

  27. GirlyGirl

    I’m surprised she can even keep her eyes open with all the fake lashes and 10 tons on mascara on. And that dress is ugly.
    I seriously fucking hate Mondays.

  28. Don’t like the hair.

  29. biatcho

    who the hell thinks Eva Mendes is hot????? Oh my christ, she is a cross between cindy crawford and a man. Which is a cross between a tranny & man. Which makes her a manny.

  30. kate

    HATE IT!!

    Never been a big fan of hers anyway.

  31. BriBri

    Um, she IS hispanic.

  32. D'oh Eyes

    @8 Amen to the part about Christian Bale. I’m looooving the fact that he and Hugh Jackman are in a movie together. Haven’t seen it, but am filing it away for a horny day.

  33. perpetual_socialite

    She looks like Posh’s clone.

  34. Joshingya31

    Spanish people are supposed to be brown. Any post about her that doesnt contain nudity is BORING!!

  35. PrettyBaby

    Okay, she may be having a slightly off day, but come on you freaky people, she is a hot little number!! I read something that said she loves to orgasm so she could run with me anytime. She seems fun and like a partying chic.

    *PrettyBaby’s Pink Ribbonly Bubbly FanClub*

  36. #29 – I’m with you on that one biatcho.

  37. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed unless she was better on the floor.
    She’s porno hot – that’s all that matters.

  38. RichPort

    I wonder if the other celebs make her clean their dressing rooms first…

    Her shoes would love great if they were resting on my ears… but I’d have to get a spackle knife to remove that quarter inch of Loreal…

  39. happy hands club

    I used to think she was pretty until I saw a picture of her without makeup. Now I can’t get that image out of my mind no matter how much make up she has on. All I see is a chicuahua in a brown dress. I also don’t like the highlights in her hair either. Some people look better with dark hair. She also needs some color on her lips if she’s going to be all brown.

  40. eva longoria gave me a blumpkin

    huh? http://www.carpemundus.com

  41. eva longoria gave me a blumpkin

    huh? http://www.carpemundus.com

  42. LilRach

    She looks fine to me. Isn’t that what her skins supposed to look like? If superficial guy didn’t headline it like that i wouldn’t have even noticed.

    She’s a hottie for her age and you all know it! :)

    http://www.flash-screen.com/free-wallpaper/imgs/1287.jpg

  43. eva longoria gave me a blumpkin

    huh? http://www.carpemundus.com

  44. pinky_nip

    I think she’d only suck a cock if she thought a fried banana was coming out of it.

  45. ok, so she didn’t…sue me

    sorry for the multiple posts :(

    http://www.carpemundus.com

  46. commissioner

    #44

    Hot for her age? It’s not like she’s sixty, for crying out loud.

  47. carpemundus

    hollywood standards, she’s as old as my grandma. id throw her a courtesy

    http://www.carpemundus.com

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