Eva Longoria wishes she was made of bronze

November 6th, 2006 // 93 Comments
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Comments (93)

  1. mmbelle | November 6, 2006 at 10:53 am

    its probably partly b/c of the dress too but she does look really fake

    Reply
  2. yasmin3000y | November 6, 2006 at 10:53 am

    shes got the victoria beckham hair-cut as=-well

    Reply
  3. yasmin3000y | November 6, 2006 at 10:54 am

    * as-well

    Reply
  4. Glossed Over | November 6, 2006 at 10:55 am

    Oh good, I was hoping someone would revive the monochromatic look last seen on Mariah Carey.

    http://glossedover.com

    Reply
  5. yasmin3000y | November 6, 2006 at 10:56 am

    no wait she hasnt, the front jus looks like it,

    Reply
  6. Tekniqz | November 6, 2006 at 10:57 am

    She still looks good in bronze.

    Reply
  7. yasmin3000y | November 6, 2006 at 10:57 am

    last comment (promise) i bet you all hate me dont you

    Reply
  8. biatcho | November 6, 2006 at 10:58 am

    Who could blame Christian Bale for looking like he wants to go all American Psycho on this pig in that last picture. I would pay to fund a sequel where he killed all of these spunkbuckets we spew about on the ‘fish everyday.

    *Note: And I would have sex with him. hard.

    Reply
  9. llllllllll | November 6, 2006 at 11:00 am

    Her ‘head for the border taco face’ really irritates me. Am I the only one?

    Reply
  10. PapaHotNuts | November 6, 2006 at 11:02 am

    She would look better in bronze with white splotches located near her neck and face, preferably on her lips.

    Reply
  11. commissioner | November 6, 2006 at 11:04 am

    Her stylist should be fired. And if she doesn’t have one, she should be killed.

    Dress is too big, hair is too flat, lipcolor is awful. She’s no Eva Mendes, that’s for sure.

    Reply
  12. KimberWolf | November 6, 2006 at 11:07 am

    It does look like Christian Bale is leering at her in the last pic.

    Reply
  13. Angry Ferret Jones | November 6, 2006 at 11:08 am

    I
    Would
    Hit
    That

    I
    Would
    Hit
    That

    I
    Would
    Hit
    That

    Reply
  14. pinky_nip | November 6, 2006 at 11:10 am

    It’s no wonder all these celeb guys are gay… all the chicks in hollywood look like drag queens.

    Reply
  15. Brain Embolism | November 6, 2006 at 11:11 am

    That was a lame excuse for a caption Mr Fish.

    For an ‘older’ lady, she looks doable.

    Reply
  16. danielle | November 6, 2006 at 11:14 am

    melanin

    Reply
  17. Brain Embolism | November 6, 2006 at 11:15 am

    @10 – Are you talking about Popping-A-Hot-Nut on her?

    Reply
  18. SonJaSpiCe | November 6, 2006 at 11:19 am

    Her shoes are tacky.

    But then again, so is her skin.

    Reply
  19. Madrid Marriott | November 6, 2006 at 11:19 am

    Can’t blame her. She needs to be pretty tanned so that he mustache blends in.

    Reply
  20. JoannieBalonie | November 6, 2006 at 11:21 am

    The shoes are way cute, but not with that dress. And she has too much mascara on her bottom lashes! And……she sure aint no Eva Mendes…….Try harder Bitch!

    Reply
  21. commissioner | November 6, 2006 at 11:24 am

    I’m wearing those shoes today, with a black suit.

    I’ll be wearing the white splotches later, after seven.

    Reply
  22. Tracie | November 6, 2006 at 11:30 am

    “Dress is too big, hair is too flat, lipcolor is awful. She’s no Eva Mendes, that’s for sure.”
    I agree, Commish. She’s trying her hardest, but it’s not just easy being a midget.

    Reply
  23. Tracie | November 6, 2006 at 11:31 am

    “just not” – Duh!

    Reply
  24. dmarie | November 6, 2006 at 11:35 am

    Ferret-

    Stop it right now, you know you wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole.
    Remember the pic of her without her makeup on? How can you expect to keep it up in the shower with a face like that?

    kisses

    -D.

    Reply
  25. ponk | November 6, 2006 at 11:35 am

    i’ve never understood the big deal about her. she has no chest, and in this pic she looks like a walk-on part for Star-Trek:In Search of Splooge.

    Reply
  26. dmarie | November 6, 2006 at 11:36 am

    p.s. what a bitch trying to steal victoria’s look. I would pop a cap in her ass….

    Reply
  27. GirlyGirl | November 6, 2006 at 11:36 am

    I’m surprised she can even keep her eyes open with all the fake lashes and 10 tons on mascara on. And that dress is ugly.
    I seriously fucking hate Mondays.

    Reply
  28. yardgraffiti | November 6, 2006 at 11:37 am

    Don’t like the hair.

    Reply
  29. biatcho | November 6, 2006 at 11:45 am

    who the hell thinks Eva Mendes is hot????? Oh my christ, she is a cross between cindy crawford and a man. Which is a cross between a tranny & man. Which makes her a manny.

    Reply
  30. kate | November 6, 2006 at 11:46 am

    HATE IT!!

    Never been a big fan of hers anyway.

    Reply
  31. BriBri | November 6, 2006 at 11:47 am

    Um, she IS hispanic.

    Reply
  32. D'oh Eyes | November 6, 2006 at 11:53 am

    @8 Amen to the part about Christian Bale. I’m looooving the fact that he and Hugh Jackman are in a movie together. Haven’t seen it, but am filing it away for a horny day.

    Reply
  33. perpetual_socialite | November 6, 2006 at 11:58 am

    She looks like Posh’s clone.

    Reply
  34. Joshingya31 | November 6, 2006 at 11:58 am

    Spanish people are supposed to be brown. Any post about her that doesnt contain nudity is BORING!!

    Reply
  35. CelebSlam.com | November 6, 2006 at 11:59 am

    I’d still hit it

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  36. PrettyBaby | November 6, 2006 at 12:00 pm

    Okay, she may be having a slightly off day, but come on you freaky people, she is a hot little number!! I read something that said she loves to orgasm so she could run with me anytime. She seems fun and like a partying chic.

    *PrettyBaby’s Pink Ribbonly Bubbly FanClub*

    Reply
  37. Brain Embolism | November 6, 2006 at 12:04 pm

    #29 – I’m with you on that one biatcho.

    Reply
  38. wedgeone | November 6, 2006 at 12:05 pm

    I wouldn’t kick her out of bed unless she was better on the floor.
    She’s porno hot – that’s all that matters.

    Reply
  39. RichPort | November 6, 2006 at 12:10 pm

    I wonder if the other celebs make her clean their dressing rooms first…

    Her shoes would love great if they were resting on my ears… but I’d have to get a spackle knife to remove that quarter inch of Loreal…

    Reply
  40. Brain Embolism | November 6, 2006 at 12:15 pm
  41. happy hands club | November 6, 2006 at 12:37 pm

    I used to think she was pretty until I saw a picture of her without makeup. Now I can’t get that image out of my mind no matter how much make up she has on. All I see is a chicuahua in a brown dress. I also don’t like the highlights in her hair either. Some people look better with dark hair. She also needs some color on her lips if she’s going to be all brown.

    Reply
  42. carpemundus | November 6, 2006 at 12:39 pm

    eva longoria gave me a blumpkin

    huh? http://www.carpemundus.com

    Reply
  43. carpemundus | November 6, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    eva longoria gave me a blumpkin

    huh? http://www.carpemundus.com

    Reply
  44. LilRach | November 6, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    She looks fine to me. Isn’t that what her skins supposed to look like? If superficial guy didn’t headline it like that i wouldn’t have even noticed.

    She’s a hottie for her age and you all know it! :)

    http://www.flash-screen.com/free-wallpaper/imgs/1287.jpg

    Reply
  45. carpemundus | November 6, 2006 at 12:45 pm

    eva longoria gave me a blumpkin

    huh? http://www.carpemundus.com

    Reply
  46. pinky_nip | November 6, 2006 at 12:46 pm

    I think she’d only suck a cock if she thought a fried banana was coming out of it.

    Reply
  47. carpemundus | November 6, 2006 at 12:47 pm

    ok, so she didn’t…sue me

    sorry for the multiple posts :(

    http://www.carpemundus.com

    Reply
  48. commissioner | November 6, 2006 at 12:49 pm

    #44

    Hot for her age? It’s not like she’s sixty, for crying out loud.

    Reply
  49. Brain Embolism | November 6, 2006 at 12:53 pm

    jrzmommy must have gotten booked with Calvin Broadus.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061106/ap_en_ot/people_snoop_dogg

    Reply
  50. carpemundus | November 6, 2006 at 12:54 pm

    hollywood standards, she’s as old as my grandma. id throw her a courtesy

    http://www.carpemundus.com

    Reply

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