Eva Longoria, whatever you’re selling gimme 100

April 16th, 2008 // 98 Comments

These are shots of the new Bebe ad campaign featuring the always spicy hot Eva Longoria. Whoever made the call to make Eva the face of the company deserves a raise and a half. Seriously, I’d buy whatever the hell she’s on. It could be penis-shrinking pills and I’d down those puppies by the barrel. Then I’d make my friends give me a killer nickname. You know, something badass like Stump Masterson or Dongless Drago.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Conscience_Found

    omg first

    eva hot

  2. Dorito Man

    She’s hawt. I’d do her.

  3. hawt!

    and first!

    420

  4. Ted from LA

    She’s selling the concept of airbrushing.

  5. combustion8

    didnt we see these last week?

  6. I’d eat her ass while she was giving birth. Seriously.

  7. On occasion, the lawn gnome can look good. But, when she’s not all made up, looks like every chick walking down the street except smaller and meaner.

    Oh, #1, 3 & 4 – LOSERS!

  8. honeybhind

    you know this has been touched and retouched to hide her stretch marks and cellulite right??

  9. Posh918

    She looks amazing in these shots. Very beatiful on the outside, too bad not soo much on the inside. I met her last year in Miami at a club I was waitressing in. She thinks shes above everyone and wont even look me in the eye when I offered her free sushi rolls twice. She just stood in the corner All night with some bald guy. Presumably her manager or assistant. I heard of her before being very bitchy to waitresses before. She needs to get off her high horse and grow a soul.

  10. Ted from LA

    Posh,
    Don’t ever offer rich people free shit. They don’t need it or deserve it. Save the free shit for poor people. Words to live by. That means all of you.

  11. lolal

    Yummy Gaussian blurred skin.

  12. lolal

    Yummy Gaussian blurred skin ftw.

  13. L

    she is not that hot

  14. jesus

    @10

    You’ve misunderstood. You’re a waitress in a club in Miami? Eva doesn’t just “think” she’s above you, she is. Why on earth would she ever look you in the eye? Royalty is NEVER to consort with servants.

  15. Bigheadmike

    Do you have any idea how many people approach her or any star…..
    Its hard for them to realize who wants to do something nice or just ask for something…
    You have to cut them some slack.

  16. Jumpin_J

    DuPont corporation has announced bankruptcy. Apparently it’s entire supply of airbrush paint was used in an Eva Longoria ad.

  17. Male Commenter

    Being gay, I’m going to say I hate her and these pictures are photoshopped.

    p.s. Kim is fat and smelly.

    p.p.s. Who wants to get within 10 feet of a nasty vag when you could feel gobs of thick ropey semen sliding down the back of your throat like precious clots of salty snot?

  18. Jim

    #17 – that would have been hilarious in 1978.

  19. Gia

    #10

    How rude of Eva; shame on her!

    She looks stunning in these pics.

    She obviously knows when to push herself away from the plate.

  20. Captain-Insano

    Sorry to say, but that is not Eva Longoria. That is a cartoon / CGI rendering of her. I could look that hot if my pictures were put in the hands of the artist that touched these up, and I’m a 6’3″ 215 pound dude.

  21. moderator

    “and I’m a 6’3″ 215 pound gay dude.”

    fixed.

  22. Quinn

    That HOT RICH starlett snubbed a WAITRESS?!?
    Superfish to the rescue.

    Those pics are amazing!

  23. The brown bottom is perfect to hide any accidental post rectal discharge while swimming

  24. I have a bathing suit exactly like that! Wonder if I can get them to photoshop me out in my pool!!

  25. MassGrrl

    Fatso.

  26. RENEE

    Um, hello, its called PHOTOSHOP!!!

  27. Rut Roh

    Fuck all of the witty comments, she be purdy.

  28. Anonymous

    I cannot wait until her 15 minutes are up. She’s useless.

  29. sopetiteingrid

    Grow a soul Longoria! Oh right who needs a soul when you amazingly hot and have all the money in the world. Eat that slaves.

  30. veggi

    Um, hello, its called reading previous comments, writing in English, and not screaming in ALLCAPS!!!

  31. Rut Roh

    Also, for you dimwits screaming “it’s all photoshop,” guess what? It’s pretty photoshop…..Get over it. My guess is a few touch ups here and there are acceptable, unlike most fat bitches that need to just cover themself with a potato sack because photoshop will never help them, only cyanide or jenny Craig can.
    Now, back to the “this be a purdy lady” posts.

  32. Nancy

    Eva’s too thin!

    Kim’s too fat!

    The next story will have somebody who’s too

  33. jesse

    Blah Blah Blah photoshop…

    Jesus Christ. Whether they’re photoshopped or not, they’re still hot pictures. She still looks good as hell on TV. She still looks good as hell in pap pics.. so who the fuck cares? I’ll jack off to these all day if necessary.

  34. Harry

    Sure, she looks hot when airbrushed and photoshopped to hell. But have you seen her in real life? Kinda looks like a shaved Ewok. And, yeah, I hear she’s a biatch in real life, and thinks the rest of us are common. Check out her comments during Hurrican Katrina.

  35. @33 Big boobed? Opps that is not possible

  36. Prick Baxter

    Anyone that says she isn’t hot is just a racist redneck. I saw open the border only to hot chicks!

  37. thank you jesse

    I’m guessing this site has been overrun by pissed off, overweight women, it’s nice to see men still exist and like their penis.

  38. Gerald

    #33

    Paris Herpes is too thin!

    Kim Kardaskank is fat!

    Eva is hot!

  39. wreckhouse

    @32-I agree with you, she looks pretty, but I think most people find it hard to overlook the whole fakey-fakey feel of it. She looks flawless, but it doesn’t mean much when you consider the hours of makeup, airbrushing, and lighting effects. If she looked halfway natural, that would be impressive.

  40. havoc

    Not bad.

    I’d stick it in her pooper…..

    .

  41. nipolian

    I think Tariq Abdul-Wahad and Jerome Moiso are both looking at these ads saying “Shit……look what we missed out on, maybe that weekend together wasn’t such a good idea”.

  42. Grunion

    That shit is so re-touched I don’t even think it is her anymore.

    But at least her husband is a great rapper.

    bwahahahahahaha

  43. Pat

    As a wo–opps, I mean, man, “Patrick” is my full name, definitely…umm, anyway, she’s way too fake and plastic, more like a doll than a real woman with curves. (Well I don’t know about the “with curves” part, that just came out reflexively.)

    Men–and by that, I mean, we men – find this unattractive. I mean, look at the girls in porno. They’re very natural, I hear. I mean, I KNOW because of all the times I’ve pleasured myself. I mean, beat on. Off? Beat off. Beaten off.

  44. poonmoon

    Ted From LA you are the greatest I swear we think the exact same things all the time. They airbrushed the shit out of this little taco and nothing makes my upchuck reflex act up quite like hearing about pampered rich brats getting free stuff.

    #10. Sorry to hear she was such a fucking bitch to you, that elitist bullshit makes me sick. That little skank would never make it as a waitress, she’d struggle just to carry the bread rolls to the table. It takes a lot of humility to serve worthless stuck up people like that. I hope you spit in her sushi. Come to think of it she’s prolly eaten a lot of rightfully deposited spit and other body fluids in her fine dining life. Please treat the next celebrity you serve like they are the most uninteresting person on earth, you won’t get fired cause you aren’t being rude and you’ll get a hilarious reaction from them.

    Funny thing is now she has her own restaurant, I’d love to see how she treats the staff the two times a year she comes in to take cash from the register or have free dinner parites for her friends (tips not provided by owner). These fucking tools won’t be happy until they take over every industry, they’re all fucking megalomaniacs and it’s revolting. It really takes away form the hard working talented people and makes a lot of idiots think that that’s what success is, taking and taking everything you can get your greedy hands on.

    “Ya I want a restaurant and a clothing line”, they treat huge ventures like they are ordering fries and a shake “yeah those sound good I’ll take one of each” fucking shit makes me sick.

    Thank goodness for Karma, it’ll come back to her mark my words.
    Sorry for venting folks.

    *poonmoon
    (remember all the classy girl are doing it, your turn Ashton)

  45. Captain-Insano

    #22: I too always find that, when I am faced with superior intellect and common sense, its best to strike back by calling the person gay. Loser.

  46. Auntie Kryst

    Much nicer pictures than those creepy banner ads that floated around on this site when that movie of Eva’s was out.. On the whole spitting in her food, there’s got to be some good stories from folks in San Antonio about her.

  47. sicasso

    Eva Longoria Hotness = Skank + Photoshop + Excellent Publicist

    Bravo, Eva. You done good (with a little digital help).

    Rawr.

  48. poonmoon

    Awe look they dressed up the Taco Bell dog. Aren’t you cute, yes you are, yes you are, what kind of burrito are you promoting this month little one?

    The smellslikefishbitchburrito and the flatasschalupa Mmmm sounds midgetlicious. But I think I’ll pass I’m alergic to divabitch and divabitch biproducts. Thanks anyway poochy.

  49. woohaaaa

    #38 – i am female and definately not overweight, but i definately agree. a lot of you people are haters. she’s amazing. airbrushed or not.

  50. I CAN HATE ALL DAY....CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A JOB

    CONSIDERING HER VAG IS BEING VIOLENTLY DUG OUT NIGHTLY BY A BLACK MAN, I’M SURE IF SHE SPREAD HER LEGS YOU’D SWEAR YOU WERE LOOKING AT THE GRAND CANYON.

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