Eva Longoria really really needs her makeup

July 11th, 2006 // 192 Comments

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Just in case you never believed in the power of makeup, this is what Eva Longoria looks like without it. So the next time you’ve got your pants down masturbating to pictures of her in a bikini keep this picture in mind. Because apparently she’s a gnome. And that turns you on.


  1. hosta

    The number of racist comments here is disgusting. And it does matter #150 — why do you think our country is becoming more vehemently anti-Mexican every day?

  2. RichPort


    I agree! I’m on the phone with the NAACP right now but oddly, everyone’s late to work again. And they really should change their Lil’ Jon hold music…

  3. haaayesgirl84

    First off, youve all proved yourself ignorant, Eva isnt even MEXICAN, she is Cuban and mixed with something else..

    Im Mexican American and these remarks are indeed RACIST. I would bet money the majority of the guys posting these comments are WHITE, I dont expect you guys to understand. This is pretty sad though…

  4. haaayesgirl84

    #150 dont be so passive…

  5. Don’t be upset with the White Guys making racist remarks. When they’re not serial killing and child molesting, they’re spending quality time having sex with each other’s wives.

    But,hey, I’m not a bigot of any kind, and I love everybody!…he,he,he…

  6. TurdFerguson

    Roison, you’re a moron. At least every person on here has been photo’d without makeup. Except that time mommy took that “first bath” picture. From inside the tub.
    And, to all those who say, “At least she’s rich.” You got me there.
    I think this is an excellent illustration of how sun = bad.
    Also, what is going on with the dirt mustache?

  7. Hormiga Jones

    My opinion of Eva has nothing to do with racism and everything to do with the fact that the only thing that seperates her from the other hot latina chicks working down at my neighborhood Taco Bell is a hell of a lot of makeup and a $50 push-up bra from Victoria’s Secret.

  8. It’s the lighting, fool


    You guys are fools and freaks, and nasty at that. there is nothing wrong with that picture, 99 percent of the population is not gorgeous, but she is beautiful with makeup, and average to pretty without. SMH

  10. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    i agree with #150. – This is the Superficial.. We make fun of everybody here. It’s like a South Park movie; there’s not one race, colour, sex, religion, sexual persuasion, age group etc that doesn’t get made fun of at some point. You can’t just get on your high horse just cos today it’s something that hits a nerve with you. Get over it. It’s called ‘a sense of Humour’.

    And 153. “she’s Cuban mixed with something else” – well that’s very accurate isn’t it – i really feel enlightened. If she’s not Mexican then why did she say she was when she was accused of being racist to that bike cop?

  11. clarknova

    Isn’t there any kind of moderation on this site? Reading the kind of disgusting racist insults on this page really speaks a lot about where the site owner is willing to go in order to get a few clicks. Spreading racial prejudices is ignorant and not funny at all.

    Stop it!

  12. clarknova

    to #160, when you resort to racial slurs to be funny, then you aren’t smart enough to be allowed to post on any self-respecting site. Stop the ignorance and insulting comments, please.

  13. clarknova

    Some of the comments on this thread can be only described as hate speech. I thought the publishers of anti-clown media had a little more wit as to allow this kind of offensive behaviour.
    Most of the time I don’t see any racial remarks, which I think is great; you don’t need THAT to be funny or even edgy. I don’t care what race you’re insulting, it’s WRONG.

  14. clarknova

    “Post a comment

    Comments will be moderated and obnoxious or promotional comments may be removed. If your comments are excessively inappropriate or you question why a comment was removed, you will be banned. There will be no warning and no appeals. ”

    Tell me this is not a joke.

  15. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    i have never made ANY racist jokes whatsoever on this website and i don’t intend to start anytime soon, but far be it from me to or you for that matter to moderate this site. I’m not saying racism is ok ALL i’m saying is you can’t get on your high horse about racism but be ok with other comments on this website about sex, religion, sexual pref, age, talent, whatever etc etc. look at post #95.
    “Racism is not superficial, it’s downright retarded”
    that’s highly offensive for people with learning difficulties – thats the equivalent of the ‘N’ word (which i will not use and never have). TCLTC or using gay as an insult – or madonna and her kabbala or the scientologists or celebs who are 20 looking like they should be getting a pension, redheads or people with STDs.

    ALL i’m saying is chill out and don’t just play the ‘racist’ card to make people feel guilty. every1 is entitled to their own opinion. You should try to help people not to be racist and see past stereotypes (as comment 150 was trying to do) and not just shout loudly about things being WRONG. And don’t tell me there aren’t thousands of comedians out there everyday making a living out of stereotypes of all kinds.

  16. 18_snotty_kinnarude

    ooo loooooord .. its not that bad. deal wit it

  17. clarknova

    165, I can appreciate a smart joke from Lenny Bruce, from the Monty Python, hell from Southpark. Those comedians can make a racial joke that gets you past prejudices, makes you think what lies behind stereotypes. But all I can see here is crude, mean-spirited insults that can only perpetuate stereotypes and ignorant attitudes. There is a line between joke and insult and when you deliberately cross it only for “fun”, then no one should have to read your mean remarks. That’s the job of a moderator, separate comment from idiocy and stop idiocy.


  18. clarknova

    FPd: I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty as I know someone capable of making that kind of comments have no sense of responsability. Just think of my rant as a plead for quality over quantity. Reading things like “f**ng mexicans”, or “F**ng nig**s” or whatever is not funny for me, I’m sorry.

  19. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    I understand what you are saying – there’s a time and a place, prejudices and stereotypes can sometimes be made funny by comedians or by putting a certain slant on things. And i also understand what a moderator does (i’m not stupid) all i’m saying is that you and I are NOT the moderators.

    I haven’t made any crude or mean spirited jokes at all on this or any other page so don’t put ‘you’ in your posts directed at me. And i haven’t justified any of the racist remarks on this page ALL i’m, saying is that you can’t have one rule for one and one for others. you obviously come to this website to read the funny comments slating celebrities, you wouldn’t read it if it wasn’t for the mean remarks! I can tell that the majority of people posting the really horrible jokes are doing it to get a rise out of people and start fights – fine, whatever, that’s their choice. If people really wanna be racist they will be – you can’t stop them – they are stupid and they’re just gonna have shitty miserable lives compared to you and I.


  20. MyWellRehearsedMistake

    168. Since when has ‘mexican’ been a term of insult? if i was from mexico i’d call myself a mexican right? or am i behind on the times. how many times have you read the word ‘gay’ or ‘retard’ as an insult but not been moved to post a stream of ranting comments pleading for quality over quantity.

  21. clarknova

    Well, many times I guess it depends on the context, “f**ng mexican” is obviously not a compliment.

  22. azcoyote

    Jesus people… settle…

    Here is something to lift your spirits. Something we can all agree on. (TCLTC).
    How cool is this….

    Yep. TCLTC in google will get you a dictionary that KNOWS how TC truly love that COCK.

  23. jrzmommy

    with regards to clarknova……..
    In the words of Gary Oldham in True Romance…
    “What we got ourselves here is a motherfuckin’ Charlie Bronson. A regular crusader.”

  24. RichPort

    I for one must thank Queen Laqueefah for initiating this tantilzing discussion on the nature of race relations. I apologize for calling Mexicans greasy, the French fags, whites crackas, Italians wops, Asians chinks and gooks, women bitches, British women ugly, Black folks gangbangers and gospel junkies, Aryans racist, Christians bible bullies, Muslims jihadists, jews bankers, Indians dot and towel heads and Puerto Ricans attractive. I take it all back. Everything except for TCLTC. You brain surgeons and socially responsible fuckheads who will inevitably grab your purses or cross the street when they see a group of teens from another race can revel in the fact that you’ve changed a bigoted man. Now I’m off to church to confess my sins and pull the altar boy’s mouth off of the priest’s cock. That little altar boy is one horny fuck.

  25. jrzmommy

    This is what happens when we don’t get any juicy gossip to fuck around with……we get all weird and say crazy shit and then it all turns into a Very Special Episode of Full House or something.

  26. Sacha Guitry said that seuelement the ugly woman make up. that seems true…

    however I adore Eva Longoria… but here it is a shock!


  27. hafaball

    Wow, you can even see the wax stains from when she got her mustache removed :-&

  28. # 153 haaayesgirl84,

    You have a lot of f-ing nerve to come on a site titled “The superficial” then cry about the comments being not caring and cuddly. The fact that I find more interesting is that you assume everybody making these comments that upset you so is a white male. I guess the only way you poor sensitive types can make yourselves feel better is to blame the white male boogyman. Grow up, get some dignity, pull a sense of humor out of your ass, then rinse and repeat.

    Oh, about Eva, She looks like Rosario from Will and Grace in that picture.

  29. #174 RichPort

    The Gay/Lesbian anti-defamation legue will now be filing a claim against you for comparing them to the French.

  30. BastardotheGreat

    Lighten up folks. Life is too short. Let’s poke fun at celebs to make ourselves feel better. Lets poke fun at everyone’s differences or stereotypes. I am a beaner. my mom was a wetback at one time, perhaps still is but I don’t know the exact definition of a wetback. Why should anyone be insulted by so-called racist remarks? When someone says “mexicans like to sleep alot” does this really need to be found offensive? The only reason you would find it offensive is if you thought it was true of yourself or someone close to you and you are in denial. It’s the same as not calling a mentally retarded person a retard. If it is true then they are saying truths and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. If they are not true then you still ain’t got nothin’ to worry about. HAHAHA. I love racist jokes and I will admit I like to sleep at odd times. I like beans, I am lazy. I do not excel at anything other than self-stimulation to porn and…hmmm? that’s about it. lol

  31. BastardotheGreat

    50. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on July 11, 2006 01:19 PM

    I have nothing against Mexicans, except for the butt of my shotgun when I’m out overseeing my strawberry farm. Hi-yo!

    That had me rolling! Are you hiring by the way?

  32. cookiemonster2

    every1 commenting on this is retarded and a necrophiliac

  33. cookiemonster2

    and has gender confusion and likes grandmother boobs

  34. haynesfamily

    Damn 178, why the anger? So because I dont approve of RACIAL JOKES I cant laugh at celebrities??? You sound rediculous. I enjoy some of the witty comments on the board but the racism…thats pushing the line.

    Turn the tables. If this same post happened to be about a white celebrity, I bet you money there wouldnt be one post regarding the person’s race. What does EVA WITHOUT MAKEUP have to do with her ethnicity?

    The way people speak of Mexicans these days sickens me. I thought it was just where I live, TX, but it’s true ignorant people are every where…

  35. haynesfamily

    SPINDOC, I guess I shouldnt have put “84″ in my name because a cocky bastard like yourself would take a 22 year old Mexican girl seriously…

  36. SAARAH

    seriously leave her alone, why is everyone so mean to celebrities,i bet alot of the girls in here loook just as bad without makeup if not worse. Its discusting how people say mean stuff about celebrities yet follow them around like lost puppies.

  37. JudithJetson

    “First off, youve all proved yourself ignorant, Eva isnt even MEXICAN, she is Cuban and mixed with something else..”

    Hate to break it to you, Haaaayesgirl but she IS Mexican. A Tejano to be exact from Corpus Christi. Do the research before you mouth off about ignorance. (Even though I should be ashamed to admit I share a heritage with this hideous fleabag.)

  38. beifiori

    wow! what a difference make up CAN make on some people…wow! still, wow! are you sure that’s her and not some tomboy cousin?

  39. beifiori

    wow! what a difference make up CAN make on some people…wow! still, wow! are you sure that’s her and not some tomboy cousin?

  40. brandikay

    Hey, she still looks better than me even when I have makeup on… so more power to her!

  41. Daniella

    I hope you’re all smart enough to know the difference between make-up they buy in regular drug stores to posh stores is not the same as the make-up they put on them when they are doing a magazine shoot or on T.V. If she put on regular make-up, she would look as she does in this picture only a bit less blotchy, that’s about it. They use theatrical or stage make-up in order for them to look the way they do. Let’s not all forget the air brushing, retouching and computer enhancing that goes into making them look perfect as well.

  42. yeah, most people on tv look horrible without makeup

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