Eva Longoria really needs her makeup

January 29th, 2007 // 189 Comments



  1. danielle

    She looks like one of the creatures from Harry Potter.


    Who’s that guy with her, Derek Jeter?

  3. RichPort

    #51 – Well isn’t THAT the pot calling the kettle black…

  4. I never thought she was all that hot.

    But I’d still shag her.

  5. danielle

    And STILL you’re NOT funny.

    Run along now twat.

  6. jrzmommy

    Actually, Rich, what you meant to say was: isn’t that DanYELL calling the pot black.

  7. Sheva

    Hey, that’s the girl who works at Chino Jeans on 238th St. in the Bronx.

    Hmmn, ferret face is really just a rat face.

  8. danielle


    Why don’t you just crawl into his ass already? Attention whore.

  9. PoponarJegos

    Uh… she looks fine. I think she actually looks more real this way. Having globs of makeup on your face is not very attractive…

  10. RichPort

    #56 – Thanks Jrz, correction noted. I just figured since the thread was about hideousness, I’d wait for the She Hulk to show up…

    TWAT did you say??? I cunt hear you… scum a little closer…

  11. danielle

    (crickets, birds & dead squirrels)

  12. DrBob2607

    Yup. It’s pretty obvious that English is a second language to dear,sweet, retarded Dani, as that line should read ” And you’re still not funny”. Otherwise, you sound like an old Jewish woman..

    The Doc..

  13. danielle

    Did I get this line right doc?:

    “Shut the Fuck Up Dick-Shit”


  14. whackjob

    …mexican lawn gnome…

    Hey, ya know why women wear makeup and perfume??

  15. 4DPants

    ^ Yes, we do, Whack. Same reason men have jobs. Get a new joke.

  16. DrBob2607

    Dear #63

    It should read “Shut the fuck up,dip-shit”.

    You’ve yet again confirmed my theory that you are not a native English speaker as you consistently mangle metaphors and similes..

    The Doc

  17. jrzmommy

    DanYELL had a rough weekend, give her a break you guys.

    DanYELL, did you get all the bird poop out of your fur yet or no?

  18. danielle

    As “Shut the Fuck Up” has long been a “title” in my book, I think NOT. Capital S to the F to the U. Got that limp-dick? Kay.

    BTW. You of ALL people and/or creatures should not be lecturing ME about grammar.

    Ending sentences with TWO periods, are we? Explain THAT dumbass.

    Oh, that’s right.

    You CAN’T.

  19. danielle

    Ummm….jrz? That last sentence makes no sense whatsoever.

    Go talk to the “Doc”….(cough)Cock, did I just say that?

    I did.

  20. RichPort

    I think damnYELL practices her material in fron tof a mirror… well just once before it shatters… the world weeps for so much broken glass.

  21. kamihi

    she looks OK whats the problem, nice to see a celeb looking normal so the rest of us don’t feel so hideous in comparison.

  22. Olivia

    Why is everyone afending her, she looks absolutely fine! yeh she isn’t perfect & as pretty as she is with make-up on but so who cares. her bf luvs her for who she is not for what she looks like. i’m fed up with people slagging off celebs just because they don’t have there make-up on. It’s just stupid and old news.

  23. Me

    HA HA HA, i am loving this. :-)

  24. danielle

    #70. “fron tof a mirror”????

    Type slowly, you do have seven fingers.

    No rush.

  25. PapaHotNuts

    @74- Danielle

    I wish people would stop picking fights with you. You just come here to post and have fun, but certain people make it a fight. I personally think you are funny and I enjoy reading your posts. Keep it up!!

  26. Olivia

    BTW i don’t know who any of u r but why r u callin danielle, danYELL?

  27. jrzmommy

    76–because she’s loud.
    Danielle, my last “sentence” makes perfect sense….to the literate and ungovernment subsidized…did you get all of the bird poop out of your fur or not?……stupid sasquatch.

  28. danielle


    Damn Pappa. Wait, was that sarcasm?

    Jrz….please. I’ve never been “subsidized” a day in my life. I live a far better life than you can ever live in a million lifetimes.

    Go buy a brain.

  29. Me

    #75. Are you actually Danielle trying to post as someone else to make it seem as though someone likes you? Poor dear :-(

  30. Olivia

    Why did you guys start fighting 2 begin with?

  31. danielle


    Ummm….no. I don’t create accounts (unlike other posers) just for the fun of it.

    I have a life.

    But you, why are you even on here? Shouldn’t you be frying something at some fast food joint along side a highway somewhere?

    Poor thing.

  32. jrzmommy

    80–Because we have a strict No Chicks with Moustache policy here and she violates it constantly.

  33. danielle

    LMAO….now, if only your mother would stop crying.

  34. ValeWolf

    Typical woman who thinks she’s pretty without make up. Pfffffffffft.

  35. DrBob2607

    “As “Shut the Fuck Up” has long been a “title” in my book, I think NOT. Capital S to the F to the U. Got that limp-dick? Kay.”

    Oh Dani, I think we have to use simpler language with you as you keep missing the point of some of these missives.
    I was pointing out that the actual phrase was “Shut the fuck up, DIP-shit” as opposed to your mangled “Shut the fuck up,DICK shit”. You use English slang much like an Ethiopian 7-11 clerk.
    The use of multiple periods in a paragraph, or sentence, is a literary device used by authors to denote the passage of time.

    Unfortunately, I’ve written most of this well above your literary level and can expect a witty rejoiner along the lines of:
    “Go buy a brain” or “type slowly, you do have seven fingers”

    The Doc

  36. elizabeththewellread

    I think she looks pretty good without make-up. I mean, have you seen Pam Anderson without hers? At least no little kid would cry if he saw Eva without make-up.

  37. Sadly enough, this is not the worst she’s looked. At least she’s not as bad as Lindsey Lohan, who actually has left the house in a potato sack.

  38. danielle

    Well, since none of my “sentences” make any sense to you, how about I just write to you in your own language?



    Did you get that Doc?

  39. Me

    Oh Danielle, you are trying so hard to be funny. If only your insults were a little more witty. Maybe then ppl would have a little more respect for the drivel that you post. You waste everyone’s time by being the cunt that you are. Why don’t you do everyone a favour and cancel your account and destroy your computer?

  40. RichPort

    damnYELL, sometimes spaces occur int he mosti nopportune places. Mineh appen on thek eyboard, yoursh appened between thef ucking ears. They justh appen.

  41. jrzmommy

    hee hee, nice one centaurian!

  42. RichPort

    #82 – I can’t stop laughing… moustache jokes are funny.

  43. Babybing

    Judging from these posts, I’d say jrzmommy has some real anger management issues, maybe even borderline personality disorder. Clearly she has A LOT of time on her hands.

    RichPort, on the other hand is a STITCH. Love. Him.

  44. PapaHotNuts

    No Daneille, I’m not being sarcastic. I get tired of these immature people picking on you (as well as others). Just ignore them and keep being funny. I used to be that way-picking on people that obviously don’t have the mental capacity to respond with any sense of wit or intelligence. I decided to quit doing that and try to enjoy everyone’s humor, regardless of the fact that they be midly retarded. Just keep being yourself and ignore the haters.

  45. danielle


    Dear, really? Do you actualy think I give a fuck about whether or not you find me “funny”? If you think that I DO…here’s a newsflash: I DON’T.

    Did you just use RESPECT on this blog? Since when has this site been about that? What are you, Dr. Phil or some shit? I don’t remember wasting ANY of YOUR time. I mean, how could I? The only time you OWN is the time you have to take a shit and wipe. I thought your day only consisted of washing dishes and folding laundry at the first ever “24 hour Laundry/Cafe”.

    Why don’t YOU do your mother a >favor< and….DROWN. Just stick your head in a nearby washing machine, got that?

    Good boy..or girl..or creature.



    Posting that shit won’t take away from the fact that you’re an illiterate dumbfuck who’s raped by his daddy every night before the Spongebob Squarepants Marathon.

    But…it helps.

  46. Me


    If you were familiar with British english, that you would know that FAVOUR is how non-Americans spell what you so brilliantly corrected as favor you ignorant hosefly. You seriously have the mental capacity of a rabid bat.

  47. danielle


  48. jrzmommy

    And I’d say we found another alias for Walrus Gumboots!

  49. Me

    Also, all you little predictions about what I could possibly be doing for a living….is someone projecting?

    PS. You are a shame to human beings everywhere.

  50. danielle

    YOUR dumbass YOUR.

    Geesh, your IQ must equal that of a small insect.

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